I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Mike32ct said:This probably doesn't answer your question, but I'll say it anyway...
I actually don't agree with forcing yourself to rack up approaches just because the women are there.
Pick women that you actually WANT to approach.
Sometimes, we think we are "afraid," but we really aren't. We just have no interest in approaching a particular female or group of females.
That's how procrastination works. We think we fear something, so we avoid it. In reality, we avoid it because we don't like it.
If you want to approach her and you hesitate, that's a real approach anxiety. In that case, do it, but keep it casual and don't put too much pressure on yourself.
I really appreciate your advice but you see you have told me what to do but I don't know where to begin. I know you must be asking yourself how socially retarded I am. But its reached a point where all I want to do is not care what people think but how I am gonna help myself. so if you could download some of your ideas to me I would appreciatedasein said:If you are really serious about it, I can guarantee results, but it takes effort. Start talking to people, all people you see regularly. Don't just "Hey how are you?" but remember their names, get to know them. Talk to women too without any kind of pretense, just like you talk to everyone. Like any other habit, it takes a few weeks to gel. Fringe benefit is you will uncover all sorts of other opportunities in the strangest places. Some old lady you have befriended may have her fitness instructor niece coming to visit or similar. Happens all the time.
Once you are good with people, THEN start adding the pickup pretense into the equation. For many men today conditioned to texting, FB, IM, video games, the first step is to build a foundation of social skills for general face to face interactions with people. Then refine towards seducing women. Good luck.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.