"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
How to beat Approach Anxiety and **** Fear
- Thread starter diviaster
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
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- Oct 22, 2007
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I actually don't agree with forcing yourself to rack up approaches just because the women are there.
Pick women that you actually WANT to approach.
Sometimes, we think we are "afraid," but we really aren't. We just have no interest in approaching a particular female or group of females.
That's how procrastination works. We think we fear something, so we avoid it. In reality, we avoid it because we don't like it.
If you want to approach her and you hesitate, that's a real approach anxiety. In that case, do it, but keep it casual and don't put too much pressure on yourself.
Tictac
Banned
What is there to be afraid of?
What's the worst that can happen? They say 'no'. Not exactly earth shattering.
easier said than done, but I do think it takes quite a bit of practice to convince your emotional side that there is nothing to be afraid of.
Its tough man, i get it. :cuss:
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
Mike32ct said:
I totally agree with this. You do NOT have to approach every girl you see in public. In fact, I think it reeks of desperation and thirst. Snipers don't shoot every guy in their scope, they wait for the one they want. Put it this way, when you see that one cute chick that's giving you "fück me" eyes and sends a charge through your wang, you'll want to go up to her. It is then that you should not have anxiety and apply what you've learned here. Just be casual, chill and say hi and make small talk.
If she shoots you down, bail. Not that that in itself won't suck gorilla balls, but at least you tried with the intent of going after the chick that excited you.
Once you are good with people, THEN start adding the pickup pretense into the equation. For many men today conditioned to texting, FB, IM, video games, the first step is to build a foundation of social skills for general face to face interactions with people. Then refine towards seducing women. Good luck.
I really appreciate your advice but you see you have told me what to do but I don't know where to begin. I know you must be asking yourself how socially retarded I am. But its reached a point where all I want to do is not care what people think but how I am gonna help myself. so if you could download some of your ideas to me I would appreciatedasein said:
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.