Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Alpha male telling a girl you can't live without her? Now that's a paradox.I'll probably get slammed for this How does a alpha male tell a girl he's been thinking of her ?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
That's because there's a systemic misunderstanding of what "alpha" is, which is really actually a paternal frame. Mark Manson refers to this as a lack of neediness and healthy vulnerability. Put into PUA\RP terms, this is a combination of abundance mentality and not engaging in covert contracts. Most of what is described as "alpha" in these forums can simply be described as "the opposite of a nice guy" which is not necessarily alpha. Lots of overcompensation and misattribution. If a girl has to pick between an unbridled psychopath and a niceguy, she'll choose Charles Manson most of the time.The Alpha male doesn't do this, which is why most women will fvck him 3 or 4 times and then move on because they don't view him as relationship material.
If that is your goal, then great. If not, I'd advise doing a few beta things once in a while to show a softer side they can relate better to...there is nothing wrong with telling a woman you are seeing you have been thinking of her, as long as you haven't been acting like a needy little b!tch the rest of the time.
That's the issue here...people don't understand context. You CANNOT be "Alpha" all the time if you want a relationship. You simply cannot. It won't work. That strategy will get you laid. But you will be viewed as untrustworthy and a guy that simply goes around and sleeps with every woman you meet. That works for a short period of time, but not for very long with the same woman. If that's what you want, then great.
If it's not then you have to moderate your "Alpha"ness with some softer Beta tendencies. It's not going to be viewed as weak or non-Alpha, its going to be viewed as you letting her get to know you a little better and being able to see the "real" you...you know the one she is going to fall for...
This Alpha all the time BS is just that...BS, spewed by people who don't understand context of what they are doing.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.