I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Alpha male telling a girl you can't live without her? Now that's a paradox.I'll probably get slammed for this How does a alpha male tell a girl he's been thinking of her ?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That's because there's a systemic misunderstanding of what "alpha" is, which is really actually a paternal frame. Mark Manson refers to this as a lack of neediness and healthy vulnerability. Put into PUA\RP terms, this is a combination of abundance mentality and not engaging in covert contracts. Most of what is described as "alpha" in these forums can simply be described as "the opposite of a nice guy" which is not necessarily alpha. Lots of overcompensation and misattribution. If a girl has to pick between an unbridled psychopath and a niceguy, she'll choose Charles Manson most of the time.The Alpha male doesn't do this, which is why most women will fvck him 3 or 4 times and then move on because they don't view him as relationship material.
If that is your goal, then great. If not, I'd advise doing a few beta things once in a while to show a softer side they can relate better to...there is nothing wrong with telling a woman you are seeing you have been thinking of her, as long as you haven't been acting like a needy little b!tch the rest of the time.
That's the issue here...people don't understand context. You CANNOT be "Alpha" all the time if you want a relationship. You simply cannot. It won't work. That strategy will get you laid. But you will be viewed as untrustworthy and a guy that simply goes around and sleeps with every woman you meet. That works for a short period of time, but not for very long with the same woman. If that's what you want, then great.
If it's not then you have to moderate your "Alpha"ness with some softer Beta tendencies. It's not going to be viewed as weak or non-Alpha, its going to be viewed as you letting her get to know you a little better and being able to see the "real" you...you know the one she is going to fall for...
This Alpha all the time BS is just that...BS, spewed by people who don't understand context of what they are doing.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.