"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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how do you respond to "you're such a player"

bankai

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I was curious about how you've all responded when a girl jokes about you being a "player" or always having girls around you?

eg.
girl: who's been texting you?
guy: just a friend
girl: who? more girls! you're such a player.

I want this girl to feel a little pressure and I also want her to feel like she's got a chance.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Lexington

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Turn it back around on her and make fun of her: "Look at you, acting all possessive already!"
 

bankai

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Is it too off topic to say something like "i can't help it if i'm this good looking"?
 

bankai

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so i wrote back:

me: "Don't be jealous! I can't help it if I'm this good looking/smart/funny"
her: "... funny, i guess i agree... not so smart, definitely not that good looking"


not sure how to take that one
 

teddy240

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All you have to say is " I cant help that people want to be around me" or "huh, i never noticed that before, it just seems so natural"
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Lexington

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bankai said:
so i wrote back:

me: "Don't be jealous! I can't help it if I'm this good looking/smart/funny"
her: "... funny, i guess i agree... not so smart, definitely not that good looking"


not sure how to take that one
Sounds to me like she's kidding around with you. That's a good sign. Just keep making fun of her but in a joking, friendly way. That's what flirting is all about.
 

PDubb75

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I'm assuming this is text messages? Stop texting. If you keep kidding around, it is not going to come off how you want it to. ****y/funny doesn't work when they need to read it. If she's reading it, it's playing in her head how she thinks you would be saying it. In other words, it's automatically "predictable" to her.

If you actually say it, your tone dictates the ****y/funny. The whole point of it is to come off in a way that she wouldn't necessarily expect. It won't come across properly in text.
 

SamTheHobit

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By using some initiative. And thinking for yourself.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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mahoney

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my answer

"ha WHATEVER"

just laugh it off, don't have an actual answer. She isn't saying "you're such a player", she's asking "do you think you are a player?"

The correct answer to "do you think you are a player" isn't YES or NO, the correct answer is not to give an answer
 

xdreamz

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use "if i was a player then_____ , but if you want me to text you more just ________"
 

xdreamz

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"are you a slut?...nm u ARE a slut lol..seriously, haha"
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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badboyjmm

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Her:you're such a player

Me: It takes a player to recognize another one :whistle:
 

Sh0t

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Depends on a million variables, but sometimes I just say, "oh i'm not a player, I'm just gay"

But honestly, if a girl gives you that line, it's a bittersweet compliment. If you exude player vibes, you might have to get your acting skills up some. The best players come across like choirboys, snakes in the grass style.

No lawn mowers
 

RockaRolla25

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bankai said:
I was curious about how you've all responded when a girl jokes about you being a "player" or always having girls around you?

eg.
girl: who's been texting you?
guy: just a friend
girl: who? more girls! you're such a player.

I want this girl to feel a little pressure and I also want her to feel like she's got a chance.
Damn straight. And if you play your cards right, you could be #362. I'm trying to hit 500 and then retire.
 

DannyM

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If she says your not good looking just reply back with "and theres me thinking we had nothing in common"
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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