"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
How do you know you like someone?
- Thread starter Ice Cold
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Heizen
Senior Don Juan
diplomatic_lie
Master Don Juan
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Ladiesssman
Don Juan
BGMan
Master Don Juan
BGMan
Helter Skelter
Master Don Juan
I'm assuming your referring to females, although I think it applies to both genders.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Abbott
Master Don Juan
Ben
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Kaine
Senior Don Juan
Now thats love
The TallOne
Don Juan
Thats also pain.Originally posted by Kaine
When I want her to fcuk me in the a$$
Now thats love
Abbott
Master Don Juan
I'd think it's common sense.
Basically, can I have fun if I hang out with her? Would I be glad I went, or would it be a complete disaster?
But to be more specific (and to answer your question):
NOTE: These are assuming that it's a woman with whom I'd like to have a relationship, not friendship.
1) Is she my type (5'4"-6'6", not fat, very attractive, and white)? I'm not racist but I just can't see myself with a woman who isn't white.
2) Are there any dealbreakers (i.e. single mothers, extremely religious, FAR right politics, etc.)?
3) Will she expect me to pay for everything? I refuse to pay for everything.
4) Does she have at least one motorcar that she doesn't have to share with anyone else? This is because I refuse to drive her everywhere, and I don't live in a big city with lots of taxicabs and busses (and thus can get away w/o a motorcar).
5) Does she do her hair and wear make-up? I don't like girls who don't do that, because it shows they don't care about themselves that much.
6) Does she like to go out, party, and have fun? I like girls who do that, because I like to do that too.
7) Does she believe in the concept of "no sex before marriage?" I hope not.
8) Is she going to have a problem with the fact that I'm an Atheist, a vegetarian, and/or the fact that I light up?
9) Will she try to dominate me like some man-hating femanazi, or at least try to "wear the pants?" I figured that's the man's job, plus I tend to be more of a leader type.
I hope that answered your question.
Ben
diplomatic_lie
Master Don Juan
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Her, or him?Originally posted by Kaine
When I want her to fcuk me in the a$$
Now thats love
BGMan
Master Don Juan
Don't be stupid. Of course it's not racist. After all, if all white people only dated other races, pretty soon there would be no white people anymore. Duh. So paradoxically, dating your own race maintains diversity. Funny, huh?
How tall are you? I can't imagine being with a girl taller than me... unless she's really hot, then I don't care!
BGMan
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.