You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
True, it applies less in cold approaches. That's why so much pickup material focuses on trying to display (or fake) that you are a high value male.I don't think value applies in every situation. Example: Let's say the star QB of a high school team approached a random girl in the mall. The girl he approached doesn't know he's a QB. That doesn't mean he doesn't have value, it means it's just not relevant to that situation.
Anybody going to answer this? It was the whole point of the thread.Maxtro said:And how do you get to be in the spotlight? What can an average guy do?
Maxtro said:Anybody going to answer this? It was the whole point of the thread.
Aside from being an athlete, performer, rich or being really good looking. How does a normal guy get enough value to attract women?
There has to be a way to start from the bottom and work oneself up.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
With regards to this discussion, I PMed you with a secretGreatHornedOwl said:Let me just add...
I don't think value applies in every situation. Example: Let's say the star QB of a high school team approached a random girl in the mall. The girl he approached doesn't know he's a QB. That doesn't mean he doesn't have value, it means it's just not relevant to that situation.
Maxtro, listen to what Iceberg said. All of those things you listed raise your value, and they help a lot because of the market value of pu$$y. And Judge nismo agrees.Maxtro said:OK, so the categories for value are.
Looks:
A great body, a big strong guy that makes her feel safe and protected when she's with you.
Money or potential for it:
A good career or potential for a good career (going to medical school for example)
Fame:
Athlete, or some kind of performer
Social:
Be a fun guy that everybody likes and have a lot of friends and be well connected.
So I guess social value is the easiest one to achieve. Of course, if one doesn't know what they are doing, it might as well be impossible.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
You are not waiting for a miracle are you?Maxtro said:After reading over the replies, value appears to be complicated and very difficult to get unless you know what you are doing. The examples are great but feel unobtainable.
The only thing I have that I'm remotely skilled at are computer and even then it's just playing with them or minor support stuff.
I'm currently in college just trying not to hate it. Around the start of every new semester I have some hope that this semester will be the one where it's different and my life turns around.
For once I'd like to impress a woman. I just don't see it happening any time soon.
Heh, no not a miracle.Plinco said:You are not waiting for a miracle are you?
Look sometimes it just seems easy on the surface. When we see that super buff guy in the streets with women we don't say "Oh he was training 3-5 days a week with a strict diet for several years and is now reaping his rewards."Maxtro said:Heh, no not a miracle.
In this world there are three types of men.
Men who get women without even trying (Super high value)
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.