She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
True, it applies less in cold approaches. That's why so much pickup material focuses on trying to display (or fake) that you are a high value male.I don't think value applies in every situation. Example: Let's say the star QB of a high school team approached a random girl in the mall. The girl he approached doesn't know he's a QB. That doesn't mean he doesn't have value, it means it's just not relevant to that situation.
Anybody going to answer this? It was the whole point of the thread.Maxtro said:And how do you get to be in the spotlight? What can an average guy do?
Maxtro said:Anybody going to answer this? It was the whole point of the thread.
Aside from being an athlete, performer, rich or being really good looking. How does a normal guy get enough value to attract women?
There has to be a way to start from the bottom and work oneself up.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
With regards to this discussion, I PMed you with a secretGreatHornedOwl said:Let me just add...
I don't think value applies in every situation. Example: Let's say the star QB of a high school team approached a random girl in the mall. The girl he approached doesn't know he's a QB. That doesn't mean he doesn't have value, it means it's just not relevant to that situation.
Maxtro, listen to what Iceberg said. All of those things you listed raise your value, and they help a lot because of the market value of pu$$y. And Judge nismo agrees.Maxtro said:OK, so the categories for value are.
Looks:
A great body, a big strong guy that makes her feel safe and protected when she's with you.
Money or potential for it:
A good career or potential for a good career (going to medical school for example)
Fame:
Athlete, or some kind of performer
Social:
Be a fun guy that everybody likes and have a lot of friends and be well connected.
So I guess social value is the easiest one to achieve. Of course, if one doesn't know what they are doing, it might as well be impossible.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You are not waiting for a miracle are you?Maxtro said:After reading over the replies, value appears to be complicated and very difficult to get unless you know what you are doing. The examples are great but feel unobtainable.
The only thing I have that I'm remotely skilled at are computer and even then it's just playing with them or minor support stuff.
I'm currently in college just trying not to hate it. Around the start of every new semester I have some hope that this semester will be the one where it's different and my life turns around.
For once I'd like to impress a woman. I just don't see it happening any time soon.
Heh, no not a miracle.Plinco said:You are not waiting for a miracle are you?
Look sometimes it just seems easy on the surface. When we see that super buff guy in the streets with women we don't say "Oh he was training 3-5 days a week with a strict diet for several years and is now reaping his rewards."Maxtro said:Heh, no not a miracle.
In this world there are three types of men.
Men who get women without even trying (Super high value)
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.