How do you answer when a woman asks you how many women you have had sex with?

[Kitttydiet88]

Today? None

if she keeps pushing, tell her you’re a virgin.

 

[BeExcellent]

For older guys in particular a good answer is:

“Oh God. I have no idea...” like you’ve never really thought about it and it hasn’t really occurred to you as a “thing.” And you smile and move on or change the subject...

Or alternatively “Enough to know better” like this happens all the time (because for some men it DOES happen all the time...)

What this effectively communicates covertly is “Look, this is not a question you really want the answer to...so let’s move on...”

Like @ShePays said it’s ALL in the delivery. You could say you lost count after 50 or 150 or 500 or whatever. You deliver the response deftly you’ll get the same result, which squelches her asking about it further and shows you are an experienced man.

It’s the less or not very experienced men who get tripped up by this question.

A player is going to give an evasive or humorous answer off the cuff and move on like nothing happened.

I’ll add this...

You are better off to OWN it rather than downplay it. It makes you come off weaker to downplay it rather than to own it.

I use a variation of this to suss out underlying insecurity and/or intent in men... Ill tease them for being a player...and see how they respond. If a man downplays or denies being a player when he knows (and everybody knows) he is...he’s got some insecurity going on and/or he likes me more than he’s willing to let on. The completely IDGAF men own it without any qualification.

 

[BeExcellent]

I'm often surprised by what couples decide to say and do to each other, even though poor judgment should no longer surprise. It's probably actually just disappointment. We seem to get stupider, as a species, with each technological advancement.

Some couples know the intimate details of each other's previous relationships, better than they know the details of their own children's lives. It's an unhealthy obsession, if you ask me, and ends nowhere good.

I don't think a man needs to be necessarily ashamed or embarrassed by his appeal to women, in order to play it down. If he overplays his downplaying, then, yes, that will come across as defensive, and may signify an insecurity. But, simply being nonchalantly oblivious or dismissive to the insinuation should be fine...unless a man's playboy reputation is part of his appeal to the girl in question.

If she won't let it drop, and is insistent, it's better to just drop her, and to walk away with your secrets, than to be berated into surrendering to the Cassandra Syndrome.

Agreed. I prefer a secure man who doesn’t back away from his sexual appeal.

Except for the very young (like teenaged) people or the very inexperienced (like the widow with 1 sexual partner) the whole count thing is moot. Nobody is a virgin after a while...especially attractive people.

But I’ve seen people, men & women both, who get unduly hung up on the number. Even in the older cohorts. It’s interesting.

I mean what is ok? For a man...for a woman?

I’ve seen widows and divorced people who never dated again & only ever had one sexual partner...so it’s academic really and generally goes nowhere good.

 

[Trez]

Honestly the best thing to say is to claim you're a virgin. Lie. She'll know you're lying and not only will it i intrigue her, but she'll know you're lying and she won't care.

 

[andreihaha]

"...please..."
"Not with many of those who wanted to. I'm quite selective."

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That's funny, but the truth is that she doesn't really want to know if you've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain, and neither do you. If you're a man who attracts the sexual attention of desirable women, a high body count isn't going to substantially increase her estimation of your value. It may add to her insecurity, if that's your intention, but it could also backfire. Let's face it: a man who's slept with 10,000 women has probably never said "no" in his life, and has probably banged broads who'd make your skin crawl.

Even if you're taking home a different woman every Saturday night, unless you really suck in bed, or you woke up and chewed your arm off to get away, a good portion of the women you sleep with will want a repeat performance, if not a relationship. So, even with a rotation, how many nights a week are you willing to devote to women who aren't willing to just come over, go to bed, and go away? Really?

Any guy whose life consists of going to clubs, every night of the week, and taking home a different girl, has something deeply pathological going on. I've known such guys, but I didn't really like them.

This thread stems from a general insecurity among men, that he's only slept with a dozen women, and that she's slept with a dozen squared men. It's the insecurity that's the problem, not the actual number. You aren't going to impress her, either way; so, why even dignify the question with a sincere response?

Why try to "impress" her? Let her feel you.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I suggest you don't try to impress her. I was merely pointing out that it's misguided to try.

Your chemistry will be whatever it is and her feelings will be whatever they are. It's about the feelings and chemistry and it can't be forced.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That may or may not be, but you don't owe your secrets to every girl you share a pillow with.

Sharing that fvcks it up

 

[skinnyguy]

They are never going to get the truth, because every guy multiplies his actual lay count by at least 3.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

They are never going to get the truth, because every guy multiplies his actual lay count by at least 3.

Not every... Mines 52. Most of my sex was in 3 long relationships by 200x. In my life relationship sex has been much hotter than hookups and one nighters. You just aren't familiar enough with each other.

 

[redskinsfan92]

How do you answer when a woman asks you how many women you have had sex with?

You say you don't kiss and tell, then you change the subject.

NEVER under any circumstance ever give her a number! Nothing good can come of it.

 

[Mike32ct]

I think I was only asked this once in the past 20 years. I'm too honest for my own good. I said 12 or 13, which is correct. She claimed to be at 7 and seemed disappointed.