"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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how do i get this stud's body?

6

6-heads lewis

Master Don Juan
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hey guys im 6'0 160, and maknig a new program to get huge! ive studied the benefits of visualization and goal setting, so i printed out a picture of my ideal and posted it on the cieilnig above my bed: http://buckeyebanter.com/myspace/fat_guy_in_girl_underwear.jpg

chicken breast and rice would be replaced with bacon and grilled cheese sandwiches, water replaced with cool-aid. i met a gypsy who specializes in goat urine which i hear slows down your metabolism, its relatively inexpensive, just a wekeend alone with my virign cousin. cardio consists of balancing my belly while urinating to make sure i dont piss on myself, and phoning escorts to wash my back.

lucky for me i still have several oversized thongs from all the obese women i macked (holla at ya boy!). i could use some advice on growing back hair though.

thanks
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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C

ChrizZ

Master Don Juan
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goat urine doesn´t work. Been there, done that...
 
D

donjuanjovi

Senior Don Juan
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You owe me 37 seconds of my life back.
 
S

Skilla_Staz

Master Don Juan
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Ever seen "Supersize Me"?


That is basically the ideal diet for acheiving this sort of figure. It will take hard work though, it's not easy. No exercise for you my friend.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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amoka

amoka

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How can goat urine slow your metabolism? Never hear of it.... what is the correlation between the two?
 
S

Skilla_Staz

Master Don Juan
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It's a joke...

Goat Urine = Tinkle Juice from the Billy Goat.
 
W

Warboss Alex

Master Don Juan
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bacon and cheese sandwiches are good, but superset with jelly donuts for optimal gains.
 
S

Skilla_Staz

Master Don Juan
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WBA, would consuming about, 2500 calories twice a day be enough? Or should I look to increase my trans fat intake?
 
T

Throttle

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you don't even need calories like that. just stop moving (a desk job helps here) and make sure you snack on things weighed down with sugar and h.f. corn syrup for a "pick me up" every few hours (rinse, repeat).
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

I

insidious

Master Don Juan
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Holy Lardass Batman.

You bast*rd!

Saturday, the only night I allow myself to have an iota of alcohol. Came home about 10:30, had half a chicken dinner, veggies, stuff, Guiness & Jack Daniels to wash it down, feeling content.

Get home, still hungry. Heat up the last of the roast I made the other night, smother it in green chili sauce, start munching again, then I open that photo and nearly lost all my entire day's stomach contents! :confused:

Ew!
 
A

Adone

Master Don Juan
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I can't get how anyone could want that body, he basically hasn't got any mass, he's just skinny and ripped as hell.




















Oh wait, isn't that good old Brad?
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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