"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Holy sh!t! I can't stop laughing...

Truman181

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
297
Reaction score
27
Dear lord, this is so funny and I have to tell SOMEONE!

I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks now. It's going pretty well...she has a cool personality and well, the sex is GREAT!

So anyway, she has sucked me to completion 4 times. Now the first time she did it, I didn't "announce" before hand that I was shooting my load. I wanted to see what she would do. Would she spit? Would she swallow? I left it up to her to surprise me by not telling her ahead of time when I was going to bust my nut. Anyway, each time I haven't made "the announcement" and each time she has made it a point to swallow! Cool right? I think so! But on the other hand, she admitted she only does it because she knows I like it and well, I felt somewhat guilty...

Anywho, tonight she was going down on me hardcore. So I thought "okay this time I'll just tell her I'm cvmming and if she wants to swallow, it's up to her". Then just as I was about to shoot my load, I say to her (more like mumbled) "I'm coming".

She didn't understand me so just then she looks up at me and says "what?" just as I shoot my load and I SWEAR TO GOD it went up her nose! LMAO!!! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

Boy was she surprised! Both of us couldn't stop laughing but then she had to get dressed and run to the bathroom to blow her nose! I thought for sure her roommate would hear the snorting sounds she was making!

So anyway, we just had a good laugh about it afterwords and she was soooo embarrassed and kept apologizing.

I would love to tell my friends but I don't want them to lose respect for her so I'm tellin' you guys. Good times, good times
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

HBK

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 6, 2002
Messages
569
Reaction score
6
:crackup:
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

SomethingClever

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Messages
73
Reaction score
2
Location
Chicago
Sounds like that Dane Cook stand up routine
 

Groovy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2008
Messages
752
Reaction score
22
that's hilarious! :D
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Desert Fox

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 16, 2008
Messages
786
Reaction score
22
everytime she blows her nose she will think of you now

SHOOT IT IN HER EAR NEXT TIME BRO!!
 

SomethingClever

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Messages
73
Reaction score
2
Location
Chicago
Truman181 said:
I'll have to look that up. Is it on one of his CDs?
Maybe. I think it's on the insomniac tour. Just look it up on youtube
 

penkitten

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2001
Messages
8,255
Reaction score
235
Age
49
Location
at our house
psstt... be careful.. that stuff burns when shot in the eye by accident.
 

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
4,476
Reaction score
182
"psstt... be careful.. that stuff burns when shot in the eye by accident."

Bahahahaha you could avoid the burn by wearing glasses Penny and go for that naughty secretary look. :p
 

Aragon034

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 31, 2008
Messages
573
Reaction score
15
Location
T-dot
KontrollerX said:
"psstt... be careful.. that stuff burns when shot in the eye by accident."

Bahahahaha you could avoid the burn by wearing glasses Penny and go for that naughty secretary look. :p
Chicks in glasses are so hot.

Period.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Top