"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Holy sh!t! I can't stop laughing...

Truman181

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Dear lord, this is so funny and I have to tell SOMEONE!

I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks now. It's going pretty well...she has a cool personality and well, the sex is GREAT!

So anyway, she has sucked me to completion 4 times. Now the first time she did it, I didn't "announce" before hand that I was shooting my load. I wanted to see what she would do. Would she spit? Would she swallow? I left it up to her to surprise me by not telling her ahead of time when I was going to bust my nut. Anyway, each time I haven't made "the announcement" and each time she has made it a point to swallow! Cool right? I think so! But on the other hand, she admitted she only does it because she knows I like it and well, I felt somewhat guilty...

Anywho, tonight she was going down on me hardcore. So I thought "okay this time I'll just tell her I'm cvmming and if she wants to swallow, it's up to her". Then just as I was about to shoot my load, I say to her (more like mumbled) "I'm coming".

She didn't understand me so just then she looks up at me and says "what?" just as I shoot my load and I SWEAR TO GOD it went up her nose! LMAO!!! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

Boy was she surprised! Both of us couldn't stop laughing but then she had to get dressed and run to the bathroom to blow her nose! I thought for sure her roommate would hear the snorting sounds she was making!

So anyway, we just had a good laugh about it afterwords and she was soooo embarrassed and kept apologizing.

I would love to tell my friends but I don't want them to lose respect for her so I'm tellin' you guys. Good times, good times
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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HBK

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:crackup:
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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SomethingClever

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Sounds like that Dane Cook stand up routine
 

Groovy

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that's hilarious! :D
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Desert Fox

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everytime she blows her nose she will think of you now

SHOOT IT IN HER EAR NEXT TIME BRO!!
 

SomethingClever

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Truman181 said:
I'll have to look that up. Is it on one of his CDs?
Maybe. I think it's on the insomniac tour. Just look it up on youtube
 

penkitten

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psstt... be careful.. that stuff burns when shot in the eye by accident.
 

KontrollerX

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"psstt... be careful.. that stuff burns when shot in the eye by accident."

Bahahahaha you could avoid the burn by wearing glasses Penny and go for that naughty secretary look. :p
 

Aragon034

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KontrollerX said:
"psstt... be careful.. that stuff burns when shot in the eye by accident."

Bahahahaha you could avoid the burn by wearing glasses Penny and go for that naughty secretary look. :p
Chicks in glasses are so hot.

Period.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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