Well, it obviously it.RosieT said:But why can't the guy just be my friend I'm not saying I will do anything, is it really so wrong?
You should forget about this guy.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Well, it obviously it.RosieT said:But why can't the guy just be my friend I'm not saying I will do anything, is it really so wrong?
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
^^^translation "im bored with my man i think the gym guy is cute and i want him to chase me and i might just F him eventually"RosieT said:Hey guys I'm new. I'm a female and I came across this forum cause I was searching google w/ a question I had. So maybe you can help me out. I go to the gym and this guy asked me out. I have a bf, I told him that, but he said we can be friends...etc, the usual. So since then, like last week, I saw him a few times and we said hi. But, I think I wanna give him my number now not to pursue anything just to kinda have it. So number 1, is this wrong? And number 2 what should I say since I basically turned him down, not mean...I said we can be gym friends.
I think you are absolutely right :rockon:DonGorgon said:^^^translation "im bored with my man i think the gym guy is cute and i want him to chase me and i might just F him eventually"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
DonGorgon said:^^^translation "im bored with my man i think the gym guy is cute and i want him to chase me and i might just F him eventually"
She's a ***** and she only wants to use me for my attention and money, that's what I'd think.RosieT said:Well, he can assume what he wants doesn't mean it will happen.
That is true, but like I said doesn't mean I would cheat. I've been friends with guys who wanna f*** me or date me or whatever and I knew it and they made it clear, but we just stayed friends and nothing ever happened cause I choose for it not to.
And everyones making this seem so appalling, I guess you guys must chop up girls who do cheat and keep em in the freezer. I'm sure 90% have done way worse, but thats just the guy/ girl double standard as usual.
But, again, this isn't my question. My question is- if a girl did this to you what would you think or do?
I would say "I don't want your ****ing number".RosieT said:But, again, this isn't my question. My question is- if a girl did this to you what would you think or do?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Observe, gentlemen. No concept of simple right and wrong, no concept of personal integrity, character, or accountability. No concept of avoiding potentially dangerous situations (because her desire is to flirt with those situations in order to see (feel) if anything "just happens").RosieT said:Well, he can assume what he wants doesn't mean it will happen.
That is true, but like I said doesn't mean I would cheat. I've been friends with guys who wanna f*** me or date me or whatever and I knew it and they made it clear, but we just stayed friends and nothing ever happened cause I choose for it not to.
And everyones making this seem so appalling, I guess you guys must chop up girls who do cheat and keep em in the freezer. I'm sure 90% have done way worse, but thats just the guy/ girl double standard as usual.
But, again, this isn't my question. My question is- if a girl did this to you what would you think or do?
That is so true, I can recall infinitely many times when a woman has said, I'll do what I "feel" like doing.Atom Smasher said:Observe, gentlemen. No concept of simple right and wrong, no concept of personal integrity, character, or accountability. No concept of avoiding potentially dangerous situations (because her desire is to flirt with those situations in order to see (feel) if anything "just happens").
Meet modern-day woman, the woman that we are forced to deal with today. She will do whatever she "feels" at the moment, and reverse-rationalize later. This AT illustrates the concept perfectly, yes?
I would take the number, and trash it. Anyone who is willing to cheat in a relationship will do the same to me someday.RosieT said:Well, he can assume what he wants doesn't mean it will happen.
That is true, but like I said doesn't mean I would cheat. I've been friends with guys who wanna f*** me or date me or whatever and I knew it and they made it clear, but we just stayed friends and nothing ever happened cause I choose for it not to.
And everyones making this seem so appalling, I guess you guys must chop up girls who do cheat and keep em in the freezer. I'm sure 90% have done way worse, but thats just the guy/ girl double standard as usual.
But, again, this isn't my question. My question is- if a girl did this to you what would you think or do?
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You'll do something.RosieT said:I mean type as far as looks.
Well I mean I'm not totally satisfied because he's very closed emotionally, he's gotten much better but still some type of wall.
But why can't the guy just be my friend I'm not saying I will do anything, is it really so wrong?
Groovy said:I will kindly disagree with you guys on this one... Of course girls will cheat on you if you don't provide enough. What do you expect? What's the big deal? It doesn't mean they don't like or care for you. It just means you aren't good enough. SOME "modern day" girls are messed up. But the others we got to put in their place. I am a stubborn guy, I will try a thousand times and only then I am willing to quit. Not unlike some guys that give up because the girl is willing to dump a guy who isn't capable of satisfying her. She won't do the same for you if you got "it". Unless I am missing something, that is what it seems like to me.