Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Her Going Feminine

Spaz

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Guru1000, is this how you cope with being hurt, by hiding behind other people's post?

Anyhow I'm sure that it's facilitating ur recovery.

When you feel ur confidence is back at full force, feel free to confront me directly, I look forward to ur training.
 

Epic Days

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Not to shvt on the parade, but leadership has little to do with nor is a byproduct of competency in a field (although competency and leadership make a great leader). I do believe it was Henry Ford himself who answered under oath via subpoena:

Litigator: Henry, tell us how to build a car?
Ford: I have no idea, but I hire competent professionals who can answer that question for you.

Ford was competent in finding competent professionals but not competent in that to which he was selling.

It could be further argued that competence as a leader is not necessary to lead, but rather all one needs is the inner paradigm that HE is a leader. Competence allows one to hire competent individuals or to have competence in the field itself thus making one a competent leader, but not the drive to be a leader.

To lead is influenced strictly by the mental paradigm to which a man subscribes. Either the man internalizes that HE is a leader or he is not. And even if his paradigm were not to lead, HE, the individual, can alter that paradigm to that of a leader and ... consequently ... lead--given enough incentive.

BUT, I'm sure that is what you meant.
Most leaders are born or raised that way. He is or becomes competent At anything he does.
Most man are not or will not become leaders.

We have two different definitions of competency. Competency is also a mindset. One does not wish himself to be a leader.

A man must test his mettle in harsh ways. Or be thrown into that harshness or circumstances.
My father thrusted me into the $hit storm.

To suggest to these men who are unwilling to sacrifice themselves that they can lead is misleading. The secret is that a leader serves. Authoritarian leaders are made by men pretending to be leaders. They think they lead when they don’t know that they serve.
 

Epic Days

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Leading a girl from bar to bar? Holy crap we are really getting low. Yeah that’s a man I would follow into life or death.

No wonder women say men are stupid.
 

guru1000

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Most leaders are born or raised that way. He is or becomes competent At anything he does.
Most man are not or will not become leaders.
I know many competent people. They are not leaders.

I know many leaders. They are not competent. Matter of fact, I make a living by buying companies at a discount from incompetent leaders and selling them at multiples after I turn them around.

Competence <> Leadership

The term you’re striving for is “Effective Leadership,” which is an entirely different discussion.

Guru1000, is this how you cope with being hurt, by hiding behind other people's post?

Anyhow I'm sure that it's facilitating ur recovery.

When you feel ur confidence is back at full force, feel free to confront me directly, I look forward to ur training.
Hush lil’ baby.
 

Epic Days

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The term you’re striving for is “Effective Leadership,” which is an entirely different discussion.
Absolutely not.
That’s one definition of the word. As it pertains to a job or a skill.
 

Epic Days

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Hers a little gem I found...

“Studies on competency indicate that competency covers a very complicated and extensive concept, and different scientists have different definitions of competency. In 1982, Zemek conducted a study on the definition of competence. He interviewed several specialists in the field of training to evaluate carefully what makes competence. After the interviews, he concluded: "There is no clear and unique agreement about what makes competency."

A competent man can do anything AND he knows it.

A competent man can diagnose and fix anything just by examining it.

A competent man can walk into a failing organization or group and in a very short time identify the person(s) wrecking it. Even though he has no experience in that industry.

A competent man can do more production on a lazy day than regular men do on their best day.

A competent man can read a book, look up any words he doesn’t know, and then immediately apply what was in the book or manual. Flawlessly. He automatically omits or discards anything that doesn’t apply. He doesn’t know why it doesn’t apply. It’s wholly intuitive.

A competent man has a type of certainty that can’t be shaken as it applies to life and doing things. Anything. He is aware of his infinite capacity. He hides it.

There are no accomplished leaders that do not have these traits and many more.
 

samspade

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Leading a girl from bar to bar? Holy crap we are really getting low. Yeah that’s a man I would follow into life or death.

No wonder women say men are stupid.
You started and titled this thread by discussing how women turn feminine and follow masculine men who lead. Was that low, too? Now you are shifting it to whom you would follow in life and death situations.

You've made some good points, but my opinion is that leadership can be learned and applied. Some men are naturals at it but that doesn't doom everyone else.

And I don't think it's equal to competency. A lot of brilliant scientists are competent. Henry Cavendish was, and he was so socially awkward he couldn't speak directly to anyone, not even his housekeeper.

On the other hand, a person can be placed in a leadership position and be thoroughly incompetent; I have firsthand experience with this sort of thing.

On top of all of that, a man can be a leader in the boardroom, a field general, a director, a coach, whatever, and he can be competent in leadership AND his trade, but still be terrible with women.

Look at General Petraeus. Five-star General and Director of the CIA. The man was dumped by his mistress and suffered an extended case of Oneitis the likes of which you don't even see on Sosuave. He sent literally thousands of emails to her over the course of several months, some of them sexually explicit from his work account, trying to get her back.

This man was a leader of coalition forces in Iraq. That's life or death. In the sexual marketplace, Petraeus is a Beta with a capital B. He led thousands of men into battle, but I doubt very much he could lead a girl from bar to bar. He couldn't even lead HIMSELF out of self-sabotage over puśśy.
 

Epic Days

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You have your own solutions. Go forth.
ALL men reduce a measurable amount in a relationship/marriage.
To seek one IS what you call “beta”. I don’t use the word but for your context it applies.
 
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Spaz

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I know many competent people. They are not leaders.

I know many leaders. They are not competent. Matter of fact, I make a living by buying companies at a discount from incompetent leaders and selling them at multiples after I turn them around.

Competence <> Leadership

The term you’re striving for is “Effective Leadership,” which is an entirely different discussion.


Hush lil’ baby.
When u r on one of ur monthly menstruation periods, I realise that I'm responsible for the Afghanistan war, Iraqi war, Bosnian war, even the bad weather or the horrendous traffic jams u r experiencing in NYC.

See, I'm taking responsibility.

I wonder if this is what you mean by being egoless.
 

guru1000

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Hers a little gem I found...

“Studies on competency indicate that competency covers a very complicated and extensive concept, and different scientists have different definitions of competency. In 1982, Zemek conducted a study on the definition of competence. He interviewed several specialists in the field of training to evaluate carefully what makes competence. After the interviews, he concluded: "There is no clear and unique agreement about what makes competency."

A competent man can do anything AND he knows it.

A competent man can diagnose and fix anything just by examining it.

A competent man can walk into a failing organization or group and in a very short time identify the person(s) wrecking it. Even though he has no experience in that industry.

A competent man can do more production on a lazy day than regular men do on their best day.

A competent man can read a book, look up any words he doesn’t know, and then immediately apply what was in the book or manual. Flawlessly. He automatically omits or discards anything that doesn’t apply. He doesn’t know why it doesn’t apply. It’s wholly intuitive.

A competent man has a type of certainty that can’t be shaken as it applies to life and doing things. Anything. He is aware of his infinite capacity. He hides it.

There are no accomplished leaders that do not have these traits and many more.
You seem confused by simple words of the English language, more so even trying to cite a Study from 1982 to redefine the word to your liking and still can’t make a coherent rationale connecting competence as prerequisite to leading lol

Just stop.
When u r on one of ur monthly menstruation periods, I realise that I'm responsible for the Afghanistan war, Iraqi war, Bosnian war, even the bad weather or the horrendous traffic jams u r experiencing in NYC.

See, I'm taking responsibility.

I wonder if this is what you mean by being egoless.
Congrats, it’s the highest honor bestowed upon you to be leader of my fan club. Great job in leading. You show them.
 

Jager

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You seem confused by simple words of the English language, more so even trying to cite a Study from 1982 to redefine the word to your liking and still can’t make a coherent rationale connecting competence as prerequisite to leading lol

Just stop.

Congrats, it’s the highest honor bestowed upon you to be leader of my fan club. Great job in leading. You show them.
Sh!t like this doesn’t even surprise me anymore. It’s almost to be expected from men lacking the ability to do anything but operate within a fantasy land.

You might as well be female, guru, because that reaction is something a woman would do. Lash out when she can’t win the argument or get her way. Clearly, being right and getting the validation for people agreeing with you is more important than thinking about the concept of competency in a different light.
 

Epic Days

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You seem confused by simple words of the English language, more so even trying to cite a Study from 1982 to redefine the word to your liking and still can’t make a coherent rationale connecting competence as prerequisite to leading lol

Just stop.

Congrats, it’s the highest honor bestowed upon you to be leader of my fan club. Great job in leading. You show them.
I understand it just fine. Competence at what you do as a profession or skill and the ability to be competent at anything are two different things.

A competent man is miles above a competent worker or someone competent in his profession. The less sane you are the less your inherit natural volume of competence.

If you don’t like my post or the concept of the competent man, then just say out loud....

”I like the way I think and I can’t learn anything more about competence.”

I can accept that. You are the one who does not understand competence and that the volume of competence inherently, born with or earned through tribulations, is a major factor in the assertiveness and risk needed to be a leader.
A leader assumes responsibility for every single outcome and the well being of those around him. An incompetent man is a dismal failure at this.
 

guru1000

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Epic I left you off the hook easy to save face. You should have just taken the hint.

Your whole argument can be summed up in a simple sentence:

“A leader must be competent”

This is false. Period. There are a plethora of incompetent leaders and guys like me who capitalize on businesses owned by incompetent leaders.

Competency is not a requirement to lead.

Competency in leading is a a requirement to an effective leader.

Simple logic here. Try to understand this time.
 

Epic Days

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Epic I left you off the hook easy to save face. You should have just taken the hint.

Your whole argument can be summed up in a simple sentence:

“A leader must be competent”

This is false. Period. There are a plethora of incompetent leaders and guys like me who capitalize on businesses owned by incompetent leaders.

Competency is not a requirement to lead.

Competency in leading is a a requirement to an effective leader.

Simple logic here. Try to understand this time.
The best part of this exchange the past page or two, is that you exposed yourself. I know all I need to know about you.

You can’t get past your ego or your singular, limited definition of a huge concept. Well, perhaps you can but it just isn’t in you to advance on this.

Epic days out.
 

guru1000

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The best part of this exchange the past page or two, is that you exposed yourself. I know all I need to know about you.

You can’t get past your ego or your singular, limited definition of a huge concept. Well, perhaps you can but it just isn’t in you to advance on this.

Epic days out.
Smart move.
 

Spaz

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Guru, 1st you start of mimicking 2 virgins emotional meltdowns.

Now you off mimicking KarmaSutra's emotional meltdowns by harping on something about the English language.

Being a sovereign within the feminine imperative must have been a transcendental experience.
 

guru1000

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Guru, 1st you start of mimicking 2 virgins emotional meltdowns.

Now you off mimicking KarmaSutra's emotional meltdowns by harping on something about the English language.

Being a sovereign within the feminine imperative must have been a transcendental experience.
Doesn't benefit anyone to take this lower road. How about some positive contributions to the topic and to the forum as it is an important one, agreed?

As to leadership: Epic brings up a good point, but it does not deal with "leadership" alone, but rather "effective leadership." To effectively lead, one must have a will to strive to competency in all areas before him. I would go even deeper and say this "striving for excellence in all areas" deals with one's will to succeed. It's an internal paradigm one declares and unites with which allows nothing short of mastery in whatever path he chooses. This calling to mastery is so strong, that one will place his own life for its full achievement.

This concept of "placing your life" to achieve mastery in any area goes back to the Napolean Hill, specifically the concept of "burning your boat." He says if you land on a Native island with 10 Natives and you have only 5 crew members, and the goal were to kill the Natives and take over the island, what is the best incentive for your crew members to achieve this goal? Burn the boat. Because without the boat, you have no alternative than to win the outcome or you will all die. And as creatures who have the will to live, we summon our best faculties when confronted with death. When practiced enough, such becomes internalized and no longer thought about. This is the true calling behind a winner's drive, that is, HE cannot lose.
 

guru1000

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Three more components of effective leadership:

1) Giving value to your clients and employees;
2) Serving your employees’ and clients’ needs before your own (seems like #1 but disparate);
3) The will to be great and expansive which demands other people to assist, whom you can lead

This discussion began with how to lead women and took a tangent. However, an effective leader can also lead women as a consequence of who he is, not as a stratagem.

Welcome all counters to further the discussion, @taiyuu_otoko @fastlife @samspade. Absent counters, then it is agreed.
 

Spaz

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Doesn't benefit anyone to take this lower road. How about some positive contributions to the topic and to the forum as it is an important one, agreed?

As to leadership: Epic brings up a good point, but it does not deal with "leadership" alone, but rather "effective leadership." To effectively lead, one must have a will to strive to competency in all areas before him. I would go even deeper and say this "striving for excellence in all areas" deals with one's will to succeed. It's an internal paradigm one declares and unites with which allows nothing short of mastery in whatever path he chooses. This calling to mastery is so strong, that one will place his own life for its full achievement.

This concept of "placing your life" to achieve mastery in any area goes back to the Napolean Hill, specifically the concept of "burning your boat." He says if you land on a Native island with 10 Natives and you have only 5 crew members, and the goal were to kill the Natives and take over the island, what is the best incentive for your crew members to achieve this goal? Burn the boat. Because without the boat, you have no alternative than to win the outcome or you will all die. And as creatures who have the will to live, we summon our best faculties when confronted with death. When practiced enough, such becomes internalized and no longer thought about. This is the true calling behind a winner's drive, that is, HE cannot lose.
I could talk about leadership the whole day every day for a whole year.

But it just boils down to this, leadership is just empowerment of people around you.

It flows from you through every strata of ur life, in every interaction people feel empowered by ur ideas, ur presence, ur strengths, ur protection, etc.

It's ur sphere of influence.

Leadership = power = influence.

And Guru, we aren't done yet until I'm done.

You wanted transcendence, and so I've taken the initiative to take it upon myself to assist you down that path.

U r the perfect candidate guru.

Brace urself my friend.

I promise to make it interesting and at the same time challenging.
 

guru1000

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Spaz, If you feel a need to belittle in a discussion, then you are feeling threatened, as then the need to belittle could not be.

No need to be defensiveness with me if your point is logical.

Remember, the argument is how to “effectively lead.” As any one can lead ineffectively and people will follow simply by a change of state.

In your post, you state to effectively lead is for people to feel empowered around you. However, just making them FEEL empowered without actually empowering them is a recipe for disaster, a snake oil salesman if you will. Where will their loyalty be when they realize their feelings of empowerment leave them unempowered?

If you meant to actually empower emotionally, psychologically, and financially (if a business), how does to empower differ from giving value and serving their needs (Points 1 and 2 in Post 79)?

Be specific.
 
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