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Help me justify something stupid I wanna do...

BPH

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So I'm 25, in good shape, currently got a decent FWB thing going with this girl, but... There's this ridiculously hot girl I follow on Instagram who's a friend of a friend I went to school with. I'd been messaging her back and forth for a little while about "we're def hanging out if I'm ever in NC again", to which she seems super down with.

I have family in NC, but I haven't visited them since last year when one of my cousins got married. My mom is a flight attendant so I do fly free. I REALLY want to have a good reason to make that little trip, but I don't know WHEN or IF I will.

I have a reason to visit Atlanta, which would be where I'd have to make that connection anyway, but like when I say this girl is ridiculously hot I mean she is like a hard 10 in my eyes.

Would that be absolutely ****ing weird of me to do, or is it more something like YOLO you're young, **** it.

I'm prepared to get absolutely roasted but let's see what you guys think.
 

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BackInTheGame78

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I mean if you want to do it and you think its a worthwhile investment of your time then go do it. I'd make sure you have other things to do if things don't work out as planned with her. One thing I can tell you about things like this is there is a high percentage of a flake...women love the fantasy about a guy from far away coming to visit more than the reality of them coming to visit.
 

cola

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Twenty five, fly free, have family there, so no need to pay for hotel. Why not? Take a long weekend. Come Friday leave Monday ..

Does she have her own place? If not I’d get a hotel for atleast one night so there’s no excuses. I honestly see no cons. She flakes, hang with family. Might meet another hottie.
 
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andreihaha

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Got any good ideas for excuses to tell the fam why I'm down there?
You don't need excuses for your family or some chick.
Everything can be solved with honesty.

With chick: "I'm gonna be in NC for an event next weekend."
If she's interested, she'll make you an offer you can't refuse. If not, use your time in a better way.
With family: "I was bored so I came to see you guys and some chick I know from ....blabla".

Being relaxed and honest solves everything.

Also, as guys suggested before, if you go, plan something for yourself, don't rely on her.
 

stringpuller

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So I'm 25, in good shape, currently got a decent FWB thing going with this girl, but... There's this ridiculously hot girl I follow on Instagram who's a friend of a friend I went to school with. I'd been messaging her back and forth for a little while about "we're def hanging out if I'm ever in NC again", to which she seems super down with.

I have family in NC, but I haven't visited them since last year when one of my cousins got married. My mom is a flight attendant so I do fly free. I REALLY want to have a good reason to make that little trip, but I don't know WHEN or IF I will.

I have a reason to visit Atlanta, which would be where I'd have to make that connection anyway, but like when I say this girl is ridiculously hot I mean she is like a hard 10 in my eyes.

Would that be absolutely ****ing weird of me to do, or is it more something like YOLO you're young, **** it.

I'm prepared to get absolutely roasted but let's see what you guys think.
If shes showing interest(sexual interest) why not? Traveling is always a good for the mojo.
Do it but don't tell her you're coming specifically to see her. Tell her you have "some business" in NC and will be in the area and have X day and Y time free and see how she responds. This is your best chance for success.
But what if her response is less then desirable? She shoukd already be in heat for him if i consider the trip.
A flight down to "hit" on her is not worth it.
 

Dash Riprock

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If shes showing interest(sexual interest) why not? Traveling is always a good for the mojo.

But what if her response is less then desirable? She shoukd already be in heat for him if i consider the trip.
A flight down to "hit" on her is not worth it.
It's a huge gamble for him no matter what but if it were me, I'd tell her "I'll be down there investigating some RE investment opportunities or meeting with a major client. I have 2 tickets for the Charlotte Bobcats game on day/time and would like you to join me." Then, OP will need to gauge her response and make it happen FAST. Probably talk with her on the phone or Skype too beforehand.

No matter what, the odds are largely against him and he runs the risk of getting ghosted, stood up, etc. But as he mentions, YOLO. Wayne Gretzky said "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

Even if the girl did flake once he got there, if OP has any game and looks at all, he could hop on Tinder, SA, or SDM and find some chick who's dtf on short notice or line up beforehand, if he takes her to the game or another event.
 
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samspade

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Like others said, have plans, make the trip about what you want to do/see etc. and make her a possibility. If you're on Tinder or whatever, can't hurt to try to line up some alternatives. Worst case is you go out alone at night in a strange town, talk to some new people. It's all about your frame of mind.

If I could fly free I'd hit up a new city a month, solo.
 

stringpuller

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It's a huge gamble for him no matter what but if it were me, I'd tell her "I'll be down there investigating some RE investment opportunities or meeting with a major client. I have 2 tickets for the Charlotte Bobcats game on day/time and would like you to join me." Then, OP will need to gauge her response and make it happen FAST. Probably talk with her on the phone or Skype too beforehand.
Not a bad idea. And it really comes down to her interest level and input versus output. Good post Dash
 

BPH

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Even if the girl did flake once he got there, if OP has any game and looks at all, he could hop on Tinder, SA, or SDM and find some chick who's dtf on short notice or line up beforehand, if he takes her to the game or another event.
What's SA or SDM?

God damn dude right? Lol on it

OP lets play "pick a spot on the map" lol
Yeah it's more a matter of money than anything else. I live in Delaware with my parents and work part time while I'm trying to get a break somehow so I don't exactly have a lot of disposable income. Like if I do this whole thing I can pretty much guarantee I'm not gonna be buying tickets to a sports game.
 

niceguytoalphamale

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Lol as others said yeah its a 50/50 gamble. Me personally I wouldnt bother id just find a hot girl in my area lol. Or you could be a challenge and say come visit me sometime ;)
 
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nicksaiz65

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So I'm 25, in good shape, currently got a decent FWB thing going with this girl, but... There's this ridiculously hot girl I follow on Instagram who's a friend of a friend I went to school with. I'd been messaging her back and forth for a little while about "we're def hanging out if I'm ever in NC again", to which she seems super down with.

I have family in NC, but I haven't visited them since last year when one of my cousins got married. My mom is a flight attendant so I do fly free. I REALLY want to have a good reason to make that little trip, but I don't know WHEN or IF I will.

I have a reason to visit Atlanta, which would be where I'd have to make that connection anyway, but like when I say this girl is ridiculously hot I mean she is like a hard 10 in my eyes.

Would that be absolutely ****ing weird of me to do, or is it more something like YOLO you're young, **** it.

I'm prepared to get absolutely roasted but let's see what you guys think.
Yo dude... I know this is off topic but I used to read your Chronicles of BPH back in the day. Good to see you back. You were one of the people that inspired me to get on here and Self Improve in the first place
 
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Do it. Report back. Be prepared to spend far more than you anticipated. You could get laid and it could cost you fare more than you anticipated.

She'll sense your desperation and milk you for everything you've got. It's mind boggling the way I've seen guys spend on girls. They'll spend every last cent they have to their name and go into debt for thousands more.
 

BPH

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Yo dude... I know this is off topic but I used to read your Chronicles of BPH back in the day. Good to see you back. You were one of the people that inspired me to get on here and Self Improve in the first place
Glad to hear I was able to help somebody learn from it. Before this post a couple days back I posted this if you want to just kinda read through the cliffnotes on things I've picked up since those days.
 

stormrider

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So I'm 25, in good shape, currently got a decent FWB thing going with this girl, but... There's this ridiculously hot girl I follow on Instagram who's a friend of a friend I went to school with. I'd been messaging her back and forth for a little while about "we're def hanging out if I'm ever in NC again", to which she seems super down with.

I have family in NC, but I haven't visited them since last year when one of my cousins got married. My mom is a flight attendant so I do fly free. I REALLY want to have a good reason to make that little trip, but I don't know WHEN or IF I will.

I have a reason to visit Atlanta, which would be where I'd have to make that connection anyway, but like when I say this girl is ridiculously hot I mean she is like a hard 10 in my eyes.

Would that be absolutely ****ing weird of me to do, or is it more something like YOLO you're young, **** it.

I'm prepared to get absolutely roasted but let's see what you guys think.
Plausible deniability- just have a reason to be there other than visiting her.

This also works in gaming in your own city btw. I always have a reason to go out besides women, like gym, taking pictures and working on my photography hobby, or doing work in coffee shops.

I always end up meeting women but it is never my intent.

Having plausible deniability erases like 90% of my neediness. I’m talking to women from a position of a guy who has a life and not as a guy who is “gaming” and suspiciously scanning for targets at wholefoods.

It sounds like a simple mind trick but it absolutely works. We all know even 1% of neediness is enough for women to run for the hills. They have a flawless neediness detection radar.
 

andreihaha

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Plausible deniability- just have a reason to be there other than visiting her.

This also works in gaming in your own city btw. I always have a reason to go out besides women, like gym, taking pictures and working on my photography hobby, or doing work in coffee shops.

I always end up meeting women but it is never my intent.

Having plausible deniability erases like 90% of my neediness. I’m talking to women from a position of a guy who has a life and not as a guy who is “gaming” and suspiciously scanning for targets at wholefoods.

It sounds like a simple mind trick but it absolutely works. We all know even 1% of neediness is enough for women to run for the hills. They have a flawless neediness detection radar.
That's really good advice. I'm not single at the moment, but since I have a photography hobby also, I might go back to that if I ever feel like it. Great.
 
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