"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

HB7 Match chick posted on FB flowers from another guy. Another loss for me.

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,394
Reaction score
5,137
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
But everyone tells us how OLD is the best way to meet people these days, but then I read this forum and loveshack for example and everyone here tells me to get off OLD and how OLD girls are generally flaky and full of baggage which I have experienced to far.
OLD is just a tool. It’s not a silver bullet.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

biggoal

Banned
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
3,638
Reaction score
780
Age
42
OLD is just a tool. It’s not a silver bullet.
I think OLD is fine if you live in a major city with more younger people and more to choose from and who are working and don't have as much time for traditional dating. Still not good, but a lot better than this area for example.

I look in Tampa and see tons of younger women on it unlike in this geographic region that's a desert basically.
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
10,391
Reaction score
4,058
I think OLD is fine if you live in a major city with more younger people and more to choose from and who are working and don't have as much time for traditional dating. Still not good, but a lot better than this area for example.

I look in Tampa and see tons of younger women on it unlike in this geographic region that's a desert basically.
How much younger people have you met, for even a first date, in online dating so far?
 

JayAce

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 13, 2017
Messages
259
Reaction score
245
Age
38
Admission:

I used to do this. Not send flowers after a date, but a few years ago after being in a relationship for 9 years and "out of it" for a while, I would show up to a first date with a (small) few sprigs of jasmine, mini roses, or something else. The women did appreciate it.

But...

As I continued to date, I found just how much things had changed. 80%+ of single women are on OLD, and they're trying to manage a job, sometimes kids, and dating 3-4 or more guys at a time. Ghosting and flakes were now the norm. Asking a woman out after a few OLD message exchanges and then hearing nothing was very common (weighing so many options they cannot make up their mind). Most women I dated fizzled very fast, admittedly sometimes because I didn't like them, but more because no one really tries to make a relationship work anymore--because of all the choice on OLD (see Paradox of Choice).

So...

After a year or two I changed my tune. No more flowers. My trigger point for BS is REALLY low now and I'll cut at the first infraction. I date women much younger--just to have se*x with them and then dump them. Occasionally, I'll try to date someone age appropriate but they act like 20 year olds on OLD; bathing in all the attention, compliments, and validation--which really f*ucks them up.

If lightening strikes and I do meet a woman who isn't an attention w*hore, great. The door is open. But based on MANY women I've dated over the past 3+ years (80+), 98% aren't worth more than a bit of my time and a quick lay. Wish it weren't that way, but it is.

So now I just see dating as a pass time and women as play-things. When I get bored, I get a new toy. It's really too bad. Wasn't this way before OLD and social media. Women largely have f*ucked themselves with their obsession with social media and OLD leading to their boorish behavior. Truth. Then they cry and b*itch with their mimosa buddies over brunch about the lack of "good men."

Sweetheart, all the "Good Men" bolted this sham A LONG time ago, lol. Good luck.

Today's women are fun to play with, anything more is a waste.
100% truth on this post
you laid it out nicely
 

biggoal

Banned
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
3,638
Reaction score
780
Age
42
How much younger people have you met, for even a first date, in online dating so far?
When you mean by this like people younger than 40 or people that are younger than me? I was implying very early 40s and younger.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,603
Reaction score
5,138
Location
Bridgeport, CT
I think OLD is fine if you live in a major city with more younger people and more to choose from and who are working and don't have as much time for traditional dating. Still not good, but a lot better than this area for example.

I look in Tampa and see tons of younger women on it unlike in this geographic region that's a desert basically.
Why do you live in a retirement community? MOVE!
 

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,603
Reaction score
5,138
Location
Bridgeport, CT
Admission:

I used to do this. Not send flowers after a date, but a few years ago after being in a relationship for 9 years and "out of it" for a while, I would show up to a first date with a (small) few sprigs of jasmine, mini roses, or something else. The women did appreciate it.

But...

As I continued to date, I found just how much things had changed. 80%+ of single women are on OLD, and they're trying to manage a job, sometimes kids, and dating 3-4 or more guys at a time. Ghosting and flakes were now the norm. Asking a woman out after a few OLD message exchanges and then hearing nothing was very common (weighing so many options they cannot make up their mind). Most women I dated fizzled very fast, admittedly sometimes because I didn't like them, but more because no one really tries to make a relationship work anymore--because of all the choice on OLD (see Paradox of Choice).

So...

After a year or two I changed my tune. No more flowers. My trigger point for BS is REALLY low now and I'll cut at the first infraction. I date women much younger--just to have se*x with them and then dump them. Occasionally, I'll try to date someone age appropriate but they act like 20 year olds on OLD; bathing in all the attention, compliments, and validation--which really f*ucks them up.

If lightening strikes and I do meet a woman who isn't an attention w*hore, great. The door is open. But based on MANY women I've dated over the past 3+ years (80+), 98% aren't worth more than a bit of my time and a quick lay. Wish it weren't that way, but it is.

So now I just see dating as a pass time and women as play-things. When I get bored, I get a new toy. It's really too bad. Wasn't this way before OLD and social media. Women largely have f*ucked themselves with their obsession with social media and OLD leading to their boorish behavior. Truth. Then they cry and b*itch with their mimosa buddies over brunch about the lack of "good men."

Sweetheart, all the "Good Men" bolted this sham A LONG time ago, lol. Good luck.

Today's women are fun to play with, anything more is a waste.
After my LTR ended, and I kicked the b!tch out of my pad, I started dating again. Now, I never did this, but the first lady I dated (rebound) wanted me to meet her mom. I said sure. She then told me I should bring her a gift, I laughed and said no chance. She pushed hard and I just said, that ain't me. So, I guess some ladies expect these things, not sure why.
 

biggoal

Banned
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
3,638
Reaction score
780
Age
42
After my LTR ended, and I kicked the b!tch out of my pad, I started dating again. Now, I never did this, but the first lady I dated (rebound) wanted me to meet her mom. I said sure. She then told me I should bring her a gift, I laughed and said no chance. She pushed hard and I just said, that ain't me. So, I guess some ladies expect these things, not sure why.
WTF? She wanted YOU to buy her mom a gift? F that.
 

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,603
Reaction score
5,138
Location
Bridgeport, CT
^^ this

Did everyone miss how OP days he lives in a retirement community? Everyone miss how, because of this, he's going to step up his game on dates and take them to more expensive places to impress them?

He's trolling everyone
He likes them older and more mature. It's okay. Not for me, but he has an old lady fetish..
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,603
Reaction score
5,138
Location
Bridgeport, CT
So you mean sell my house, close my business and move over women?
Listen, I ain't telling you to do sh!t. However, if the place you currently reside at no longer fits your lifestyle, move. Rent the place out or sell it and move to a major metro area. If it's your business, then maybe you can operate it out of another location. Then again, you can just date the ladies in the retirement community. Old pus is better than no pus I guess.

WTF? She wanted YOU to buy her mom a gift? F that.
True story dude. First I ever heard of it. She did anal though, so she had some value.
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
10,391
Reaction score
4,058
When you mean by this like people younger than 40 or people that are younger than me? I was implying very early 40s and younger.
I thought you meant like college-aged yonge like 20-27 years. Yeah, OLD looks like trouble then.
 

biggoal

Banned
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
3,638
Reaction score
780
Age
42
I thought you meant like college-aged yonge like 20-27 years. Yeah, OLD looks like trouble then.
Like I said major metro has women of all ages on there and lots of them. Regions like mine not so much.
 

biggoal

Banned
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
3,638
Reaction score
780
Age
42
Well, I'm still seeing her on match a lot everyday. I might text her tonight something a little flirty.

That other girl in my town I started messaging on match yesterday was replying at a mad pace. Said we have a lot in common she thinks. I ask if we can take the conversation to texting because it's easier and she said she doesn't like giving her number out that quickly so I was cool with that so we kept talking on match. Then I just cut down to the bottom line and ask if she wants to get coffee or drinks one night. She read the message this morning and didn't reply after blowing my phone up yesterday. IF she doesn't reply later should I message again? Again, we matched up on most stuff. Only thing is her profile she states she's a really shy person so did I freak her out by asking for her number and drinks so fast?

People on here say that you should ask them for a number or to meet fairly quickly and if they don't want to then move on to the next person and not keep wasting time on someone on OLD.

Do you try and have Oneitus on OLD waiting for someone to reply before talking to other girls?
 

biggoal

Banned
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
3,638
Reaction score
780
Age
42
Just had another HB7 single mom from my area reply to me. Rare because hardly anyone in this county worthwhile uses match but suddenly two new cute users popped up and just happen to get replies to both. So I got three I'm trying to worth with right now. Should I just try focusing on one at a time? Apparently these women date multiple at the same time, why not as guys?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

sazc

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2016
Messages
4,468
Reaction score
3,402
Just had another HB7 single mom from my area reply to me. Rare because hardly anyone in this county worthwhile uses match but suddenly two new cute users popped up and just happen to get replies to both. So I got three I'm trying to worth with right now. Should I just try focusing on one at a time? Apparently these women date multiple at the same time, why not as guys?
Do you!
 

biggoal

Banned
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
3,638
Reaction score
780
Age
42
The one who just replied to me is divorced and has FOUR kids. She has a college degree though and looks clean and cute but 4 kids. 8,5,2,1

wow
 

biggoal

Banned
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
3,638
Reaction score
780
Age
42
She texted me tonight with this. I know the real reason why. The douche she told me about at lunch the night before she said she thought was the one and the guy who bought her those flowers. I guess I should have spent more. I called her out on the real reason why. I'm not dumb. If more guys would stick up for themselves and question them then women would stop being like this. Grow some backbone guys.

Hey xxx. First I want to say thank you again for lunch the other day. I had a good time. It's always nice to have a good meal and good conversation. However, right now my life feels very full and chaotic. I feel like I need to focus on myself right now and it wouldn't be fair to you if I made myself the priority in my life. And as you may know I don't do anything in my life half ass. So putting my all into a relationship right now is bad timing for me. I hope you understand. You're a good guy and I'm sure you'll find someone that will be ready and able to give you the type of relationship you deserve.
 
U

user43770

Guest
She texted me tonight with this. I know the real reason why. The douche she told me about at lunch the night before she said she thought was the one and the guy who bought her those flowers. I guess I should have spent more. I called her out on the real reason why. I'm not dumb. If more guys would stick up for themselves and question them then women would stop being like this. Grow some backbone guys.

Hey xxx. First I want to say thank you again for lunch the other day. I had a good time. It's always nice to have a good meal and good conversation. However, right now my life feels very full and chaotic. I feel like I need to focus on myself right now and it wouldn't be fair to you if I made myself the priority in my life. And as you may know I don't do anything in my life half ass. So putting my all into a relationship right now is bad timing for me. I hope you understand. You're a good guy and I'm sure you'll find someone that will be ready and able to give you the type of relationship you deserve.
Comes with the territory.


You should read that entire series. They're in the DJ Bible.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

Top