Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

HB7 Match chick posted on FB flowers from another guy. Another loss for me.

ubercat

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@TyTe`EyEz thanks for repping ADs material.

even though human nature never changes it's like people think is out of date.

I still study Seneca and Marcus Aurelius so I guess I'm 2000 years out of date. Favourite book series I Claudius and Claudius the god. "Poison is Queen" ..words to live by. And my street cat is called Catticus.
 

Bible_Belt

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Ok biggoal this is my last reply to one of your posts so try and listen up. You r obviously somewhere on the autism spectrum. so in a battle of wits with hardened OLD slvts you aren't bringing a knife to a gunfight you're bringing a wet bus ticket. You need to fix the social deficit first.

Step 1 go to some sports meetups and just chat to people. Laser burn in deep the habbit of keeping the conversation on them. Your answers to questions should be short focused on common ground. Skip back to them.

Million books on Amazon about this stuff
I would tell him to read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, which touches a lot of that theme. A lot of books from the 1930s are no longer relevant, but human psychology is still the same.
 

Bible_Belt

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I feel much better confronting her about it today and calling her out on her baggage.
Don't. It was a waste of time. If you could just internalize the idea that words don't matter, then all of this would stop being so awkward and frustrating for you. Women will never tell you the real reason they dump you. Usually they try to make up a more polite lie than what you were told. But the larger point is that you attach way too much value to the words of women you barely know. Words don't matter.
 

biggoal

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Don't. It was a waste of time. If you could just internalize the idea that words don't matter, then all of this would stop being so awkward and frustrating for you. Women will never tell you the real reason they dump you. Usually they try to make up a more polite lie than what you were told. But the larger point is that you attach way too much value to the words of women you barely know. Words don't matter.
I knew she was lying the whole time lol. Just funny how they use excuses like that but she's on match 10 hours a day while at school too and then saying she doesn't have time to me to do anything. How about the time she wasted on me? I told her I lost money not being at my business taking off to accommodate her time because she was soooo busy and only had certain time slots she claims.

But overall today what irked me to the extreme was bringing up my dead father. I only mentioned it a couple times briefly as I posted earlier and didn't go into great detail about it at all or anything. yet she says I need to get over the death. Meanwhile, during the date she constantly complained about her family problems she's going through and about seeing the psychiatrist for therapy for her sexually abusive brother. Yet tells me I need to get over the death while she kept harping on all this baggage. Telling me about being abused as a child on the FIRST date seemed really creepy and odd too. What a way to seem happy and positive. It gives off a bad vibe. I didn't tell her my personal problems or anything.

Oh and she was bashing other guys she's been on dates recently too when I was on the date. Again, tacky. I really think some of these hot women are on there because men simply wont put up with them. They might be hot BUT the personality overrides the looks and they get kicked to the curb.

I wanted to talk about her hobbies, job, and other stuff and it seemed 50 percent of the stuff out of her mouth was about money (not being paid enough as a teacher) family problems, cheating husband and her pervert brother. Overall she was very polite and nice otherwise.

What do you do with OLD dates who are like this, negative and talk about dark stuff like this on first dates?

Anyway, it felt good calling her out about that after she bashed me for briefly bringing up my dad's death because she asked about him. If more men acted like President Trump and told it like it is then these women would really start changing.

I almost think some of these women use these platforms as a form of venting and therapy. Makes them feel good getting a meal paid for and a beta so sit there and listen to all their personal problems and act like Dr. Phil. I ain't doing this no more. I'm not Dr. Phil.
 

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God damn.

Always be emotionally detached. Spending the extra money won't help you any.

She wanted your wallet as long as your dik isn't within 3 miles of it.

Case closed. Move on.
 

biggoal

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God damn.

Always be emotionally detached. Spending the extra money won't help you any.

She wanted your wallet as long as your dik isn't within 3 miles of it.

Case closed. Move on.
Would you say a lot of OLD want your wallet? Gold digging?
 

corrector

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I found out the real reason today. She said it was because I mentioned my dad recently passed away! Yea, that's right. He died in March and that's a reason for her to reject me saying that makes me like I'm playing a victim card. I only brought it up because she mentioned she does class trips to the Vietnam wall and I mentioned he was a Nam Vet, 100 percent disabled and he recently passed away.

yet, on the date she constantly complained about her family and how it's a mess right now and how she hates her brother and how he sexually abused her and how she sees a psychiatrist. Complaining about baggage constantly about herself and I make one comment about my dad.

That litrerally made me throw my phone against the wall today. To say something like that about my dad.
That's why you can't have fantasies over women on OLD. You had thought you were going to meet at a park with her for a make-out session or that things were progressing nicely. What I told you is to look at the hard information about her "Interest Level". All the signs and indicators were there that she was giving you a low IL, but your ego will interpret her low IL as she being legitimately busy as a teacher and really having no time for you.

You know how I interpret what she told you about your father -- same thing, little or no IL (Interest Level). If you were high-value to her, or she had a high IL towards you then she would never have made that comment. Again, this is bruising your ego because you are now taking that comment personal because your own ego deceived you over the past week into thinking she had a medium-high IL when in fact she had zero to very low IL all along.

That excuse about your dad is not personal. What she means to say to you in woman talk is she found another guy online that looks way hotter than you do and she can't face up to lying to you all the time since you are getting all clingy on her and she is just to move on to another guy. If she liked you then she would never have mentioned that period. Women, of the likes of her, just go by their emotions, are amoral, and have no moral compunction for saying something that is disgusting to justify themselves so they don't feel bad about themselves about how selfish and unfair they are to you. Other people will say you have Aspergers or can't read social cues, but they won't tell you the truth about your ego and mis-interpreting interest level from women, and that many other guys are having the same problem.
 

sazc

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That's why you can't have fantasies over women on OLD. You had thought you were going to meet at a park with her for a make-out session or that things were progressing nicely. What I told you is to look at the hard information about her "Interest Level". All the signs and indicators were there that she was giving you a low IL, but your ego will interpret her low IL as she being legitimately busy as a teacher and really having no time for you.

You know how I interpret what she told you about your father -- same thing, little or no IL (Interest Level). If you were high-value to her, or she had a high IL towards you then she would never have made that comment. Again, this is bruising your ego because you are now taking that comment personal because your own ego deceived you over the past week into thinking she had a medium-high IL when in fact she had zero to very low IL all along.

That excuse about your dad is not personal. What she means to say to you in woman talk is she found another guy online that looks way hotter than you do and she can't face up to lying to you all the time since you are getting all clingy on her and she is just to move on to another guy. If she liked you then she would never have mentioned that period. Women, of the likes of her, just go by their emotions, are amoral, and have no moral compunction for saying something that is disgusting to justify themselves so they don't feel bad about themselves about how selfish and unfair they are to you. Other people will say you have Aspergers or can't read social cues, but they won't tell you the truth about your ego and mis-interpreting interest level from women, and that many other guys are having the same problem.
Well this explains why, when I told an OLD dude last night that I believed we we're looking for different things, he immediately got ugly with me.

I was shocked that such a simple statement would elicit such a vile response, esp since there wasnt much chatter before I said that, but the ego explanation makes it totally clear. Thx
 

biggoal

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That's why you can't have fantasies over women on OLD. You had thought you were going to meet at a park with her for a make-out session or that things were progressing nicely. What I told you is to look at the hard information about her "Interest Level". All the signs and indicators were there that she was giving you a low IL, but your ego will interpret her low IL as she being legitimately busy as a teacher and really having no time for you.

You know how I interpret what she told you about your father -- same thing, little or no IL (Interest Level). If you were high-value to her, or she had a high IL towards you then she would never have made that comment. Again, this is bruising your ego because you are now taking that comment personal because your own ego deceived you over the past week into thinking she had a medium-high IL when in fact she had zero to very low IL all along.

That excuse about your dad is not personal. What she means to say to you in woman talk is she found another guy online that looks way hotter than you do and she can't face up to lying to you all the time since you are getting all clingy on her and she is just to move on to another guy. If she liked you then she would never have mentioned that period. Women, of the likes of her, just go by their emotions, are amoral, and have no moral compunction for saying something that is disgusting to justify themselves so they don't feel bad about themselves about how selfish and unfair they are to you. Other people will say you have Aspergers or can't read social cues, but they won't tell you the truth about your ego and mis-interpreting interest level from women, and that many other guys are having the same problem.
The thing is SHE reached out to me first on old. She viewed my profile first, favorited me and sent me a message first telling me good morning and that she liked what she saw on my profile and then texted me a lot and blew up my phone and wanted to meet right away.

She from what she said and from what I read on her facebook page goes on a lot of old dates from what I read. It tells me shes not really serious about things going out on new dates a lot. Funny after a date to applebees and Ross that guy tripped on his dk and sent her flowers lol.

But yes she reached out to me first on old and messaged me and eager to go out so she saw something. Free meals and flowers boost their egos too and make them feel important while beta men trip over their d@cks to impress them. I'm not playing that beta game anymore. Tell them like it is like trump.
 

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Well this explains why, when I told an OLD dude last night that I believed we we're looking for different things, he immediately got ugly with me.

I was shocked that such a simple statement would elicit such a vile response, esp since there wasnt much chatter before I said that, but the ego explanation makes it totally clear. Thx
If a woman was honest with her reason like you were I wouldn't be mad. I'd actually would have a lot of respect that they were honest and not lying.
 

corrector

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The thing is SHE reached out to me first on old. She viewed my profile first, favorited me and sent me a message first telling me good morning and that she liked what she saw on my profile and then texted me a lot and blew up my phone and wanted to meet right away.
The initial IL doesn't really matter because it fluctuates. LIke I said again, what counts towards a solid IL is if you successfully have a SECOND date. Anything a woman does initially, on the first meet-up, or the follow-up does not mean anything and should not mean anything to you.

biggoal said:
She from what she said and from what I read on her facebook page goes on a lot of old dates from what I read. It tells me shes not really serious about things going out on new dates a lot. Funny after a date to applebees and Ross that guy tripped on his dk and sent her flowers lol.
Of course she does. She has a way higher SMV than you do. Since you are reactive to her behaviour, you are displaying lower value than her.

biggoal said:
But yes she reached out to me first on old and messaged me and eager to go out so she saw something. Free meals and flowers boost their egos too and make them feel important while beta men trip over their d@cks to impress them. I'm not playing that beta game anymore. Tell them like it is like trump.
Again, that does not matter. What that shows is that you are doing so pathetically and bad online that anyone throwing you a little bone gets you all excited. Do you really think someone who is getting showered with attention, getting women left, right and center is going to even care to that extent that you care? This is the very reason why I quit online dating is because if I'm not getting a certain level of traction, I don't want to be like how you are here. This thread is a textbook reason why OLD is a bad idea when the SMVs between sexes are out of wack to what they are objectively supposed to be in reality. It's sad to see you getting so excited over a breadcrumb of attention and hung up over this woman. I understand it though because I was there too.
 

sazc

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If a woman was honest with her reason like you were I wouldn't be mad. I'd actually would have a lot of respect that they were honest and not lying.
Yea, I try to be honest. I've been a bit bewildered the level of vile that's sent my way when I politely decline chatting further, esp since I'm extremely nice up till that point. But the 'ego bruised' scenario makes sense. No clue why anyone would over invest in someone they haven't met yet, but, apparently, he did.

You @biggoal need to stop with all your ranting about this chick, learn the lesson, and do things differently moving forward.

Yea, she was a total b1tch for bringing up your dad, but it sounds like she met you, got some dinner, decided she didn't like you and then you backed her into a corner forcing her to come up with a reason, so she grabbed a topic that made her uncomfortable and threw it in your face.

I once had an OLD match that I was chatting with and had met, call me while I was on vacation in Paris, so he could tell me a conspiracy theory he was sure his ex was doing with a medical situation with their kid. It was PURE paranoia and speculation. A week later we got into a disagreement and he has the nerve to accuse me of bitching about my ex too much. Ridiculous.

People are fan-fvcking-tasctic about taking everybody else's inventory and horrible about looking at themselves in a mirror. It's just the way it is.
 
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biggoal

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The initial IL doesn't really matter because it fluctuates. LIke I said again, what counts towards a solid IL is if you successfully have a SECOND date. Anything a woman does initially, on the first meet-up, or the follow-up does not mean anything and should not mean anything to you.



Of course she does. She has a way higher SMV than you do. Since you are reactive to her behaviour, you are displaying lower value than her.



Again, that does not matter. What that shows is that you are doing so pathetically and bad online that anyone throwing you a little bone gets you all excited. Do you really think someone who is getting showered with attention, getting women left, right and center is going to even care to that extent that you care? This is the very reason why I quit online dating is because if I'm not getting a certain level of traction, I don't want to be like how you are here. This thread is a textbook reason why OLD is a bad idea when the SMVs between sexes are out of wack to what they are objectively supposed to be in reality. It's sad to see you getting so excited over a breadcrumb of attention and hung up over this woman. I understand it though because I was there too.
I don't think OLD is that bad if you live in a major metro area with younger demographics and a lot of choices. Still not the best, but location location location. As I said, in a 40 my radius OLD I have severely limited options. I mean big time. It's literally 20-1. Maybe a small handful of dateable women and most in their late 30s and older and divorced and baggage issues. In Tampa I see all sorts of younger aged people on there and high quantities. Not 5 people online within 4 miles that are decent like down here. I'm actually surprised at the amount of replies and numbers I get from OLD around here when I look at the numbers odds to be honest.

Also with the smartphones era the last 10 years every Tom **** and Harry is on OLD now versus before.

Overall, would you say on OLD dates in the future do more simple, low cost and investment dates that don't waste my entire half a day or break the wallet since there is a good chance it leads to nothing?
 

corrector

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I don't think OLD is that bad if you live in a major metro area with younger demographics and a lot of choices. Still not the best, but location location location. As I said, in a 40 my radius OLD I have severely limited options. I mean big time. It's literally 20-1. Maybe a small handful of dateable women and most in their late 30s and older and divorced and baggage issues. In Tampa I see all sorts of younger aged people on there and high quantities. Not 5 people online within 4 miles that are decent like down here. I'm actually surprised at the amount of replies and numbers I get from OLD around here when I look at the numbers odds to be honest.
Why dont you just connect with the ladies in the city then? There is nothing preventing you from doing so. Would these type of girls choose you though?


biggoal said:
Also with the smartphones era the last 10 years every Tom **** and Harry is on OLD now versus before.

Overall, would you say on OLD dates in the future do more simple, low cost and investment dates that don't waste my entire half a day or break the wallet since there is a good chance it leads to nothing?
Exactly that is what I am saying. If you get a second date then you have the green light.
 

biggoal

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Why dont you just connect with the ladies in the city then? There is nothing preventing you from doing so. Would these type of girls choose you though?




Exactly that is what I am saying. If you get a second date then you have the green light.
Most of them in Tampa want someone within 30 miles, not almost 100 miles away. Bradenton is 60 miles away and a bit more. I actually get some replies there but the women say it's just a bit too far. It seems 30 miles is the magical number for most they will travel. Except that Naples snob drove 60 miles to my city to meet me.

So a first date just some drinks or something coffee that only cost maybe 20 bucks the max? I guess women love this though when guys trip on their d*cks and buy them meals and such on first dates. Like the one last sat bought one of the most expensive lunch items lol.
 

corrector

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Most of them in Tampa want someone within 30 miles, not almost 100 miles away. Bradenton is 60 miles away and a bit more. I actually get some replies there but the women say it's just a bit too far. It seems 30 miles is the magical number for most they will travel. Except that Naples snob drove 60 miles to my city to meet me.
Can you move a bit closer to Tampa then? It sounds like you are hiding behind these logistic issues. When you are dealing with a city in the same State, and the only issue is distance from landing a girlfriend, then I'd move to another address, or travel to meet them in the city.

If finding a girlfriend is that important, and the only barrier is a logistical issue, you really can't find away around that? If I knew all I had to do was move to another address to sort that out then I think that's something I would do. Why not make a move closer to Tampa?

biggoal said:
So a first date just some drinks or something coffee that only cost maybe 20 bucks the max? I guess women love this though when guys trip on their d*cks and buy them meals and such on first dates. Like the one last sat bought one of the most expensive lunch items lol.
$ 20 sounds a bit high but I guess that's the gist of it. Two coffees should not cost $ 20. If you want to talk about money, you can bring up things relating to a lifestyle that implies you have money and bring that up in conversation. If you want to talk about a nice restaurant that you know, you can talk about it on that date to set up the second one. Most of all, are you connecting with her on the first meeting?

Anyway, I am rooting for you and hope your success at online dating, or resolution of your logistical barriers, will inspire me and others that have quit by swallowing the black-pill to give it another go. Maybe you have the JBW card in your favour and will end up with an Asian girlfriend. There are no Asian girls in your town?

However, if you are stuck on the logistics then I guess your online thing ends there then. You have to make a choice and decide if staying where you are and being miserably single is better than whatever sacrifice or cost it will take you to move and have the type of life you want with a woman in your arms.
 

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Can you move a bit closer to Tampa then? It sounds like you are hiding behind these logistic issues. When you are dealing with a city in the same State, and the only issue is distance from landing a girlfriend, then I'd move to another address, or travel to meet them in the city.

If finding a girlfriend is that important, and the only barrier is a logistical issue, you really can't find away around that? If I knew all I had to do was move to another address to sort that out then I think that's something I would do. Why not make a move closer to Tampa?



$ 20 sounds a bit high but I guess that's the gist of it. Two coffees should not cost $ 20. If you want to talk about money, you can bring up things relating to a lifestyle that implies you have money and bring that up in conversation. If you want to talk about a nice restaurant that you know, you can talk about it on that date to set up the second one. Most of all, are you connecting with her on the first meeting?

Anyway, I am rooting for you and hope your success at online dating, or resolution of your logistical barriers, will inspire me and others that have quit by swallowing the black-pill to give it another go. Maybe you have the JBW card in your favour and will end up with an Asian girlfriend, or meet some white girls too.

However, if you are stuck on the logistics then I guess your online thing ends there then. You have to make a choice and decide if staying where you are and being miserably single is better than whatever sacrifice or cost it will take you to move and have the type of life you want with a woman in your arms.
Nothing wrong with Japanese or Korean women. They're really pretty. I see hardly any on OLD around here though. Well one that's it. I would take one if I could get one. I wouldn't mind settling for an attractive Korean girl for example.
 

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Nothing wrong with Japanese or Korean women. They're really pretty. I see hardly any on OLD around here though. Well one that's it. I would take one if I could get one. I wouldn't mind settling for an attractive Korean girl for example.
They will come and meet you. Did you message Asian women in Tampa, maybe these types are willing to travel 100 miles and not come up with the 30 mile excuse? If you look at other people on this board (i.e. Alvestra Silvante (sp?), etc... or other posters that claim they were incel but worked on improving themselves, the one common denominator is they ended up with an Asian girl.
 

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They will come and meet you. Did you message Asian women in Tampa, maybe these types are willing to travel 100 miles and not come up with the 30 mile excuse? If you look at other people on this board (i.e. Alvestra Silvante (sp?), etc... or other posters that claim they were incel but worked on improving themselves, the one common denominator is they ended up with an Asian girl.
So Asians would be more willing to open up longer distance options? 100 miles though for a first date?
 

corrector

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So Asians would be more willing to open up longer distance options? 100 miles though for a first date?
So you didn't try then. Try it out and see if it works, there is nothing to lose. I think most asian women are desperately looking for white men so you are more likely to find someone from that lot who would be willing to travel 100 miles. If that works for you then it would prove the JBW race-pill theory is correct and would discredit any white person on here who claims they are an incel or has trouble finding a woman.
 
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