absolutealex
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
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What do you think?Francisco d'Anconia said:Whoa... It's scary when the only seemingly viable solution is self castration... Especially when it isn't.....
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
What do you think?Francisco d'Anconia said:Whoa... It's scary when the only seemingly viable solution is self castration... Especially when it isn't.....
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Needs her space?? Why, to fume over the situation? I don't get this, why do guys choose this as an option? Your dog throws up in the middle of the kitchen, do you leave it in hopes that it will somehow become less messy in a couple of days? Women aren't guys, they don't forgive and forget; they never forget.absolutealex said:But see don't you guys think going over there is a bit desperate? I kinda feel like maybe she needs her space.
so what viable solution do you suggesT?Francisco d'Anconia said:Needs her space?? Why, to fume over the situation? I don't get this, why do guys choose this as an option? Your dog throws up in the middle of the kitchen, do you leave it in hopes that it will somehow become less messy in a couple of days? Women aren't guys, they don't forgive and forget; they never forget.
Well, what do you want from this woman? Do you want a fling or do you want her to actually care about you?absolutealex said:What do you think?
I'd say I care about her a good ammount.Francisco d'Anconia said:Well, what do you want from this woman? Do you want a fling or do you want her to actually care about you?
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Alright, in "specific" guy terms. Do you like her more or less than your car and what do you want from her?absolutealex said:I'd say I care about her a good ammount.
haha good question, but I'd say that I like her more than my car.Francisco d'Anconia said:Alright, in "specific" guy terms. Do you like her more or less than your car?
Ahhh, so you're beginning to get interested in her huh? I'll give you a solution in PM...absolutealex said:haha good question, but I'd say that I like her more than my car.
She is sexing (hoing with) another dude!!!absolutealex said:wow, she wants to break up over this
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
exactly.Last Man Standing said:She is sexing (hoing with) another dude!!!
Most women would want to. She wants to cut her losses. It doesn't help that she's sick too. She feels that since she's been treated as if she were alone, she might as well be alone.absolutealex said:wow, she wants to break up over this
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
After you gave him the solution she now wants out of the relationship!! What's up with that advice?Francisco d'Anconia said:Ahhh, so you're beginning to get interested in her huh? I'll give you a solution in PM...
Sorry fellas....![]()
Actually he did something before getting my advice. Anyway, you know how women think when they're sick, it's a little less logical. She's either going to apprehensively try to work things out or she would rather be right and stubbornly hold her ground. Either way, they will both figure out whether the other is able to working out disagreements.Last Man Standing said:After you gave him the solution she now wants out of the relationship!! What's up with that advice?![]()
she's going to hold her ground, that is just her style. I ended things for the best.Francisco d'Anconia said:Actually he did something before getting my advice. Anyway, you know how women think when they're sick, it's a little less logical. She's either going to apprehensively try to work things out or she would rather be right and stubbornly hold her ground. Either way, they will both figure out whether the other is able to working out disagreements.
absolutealex said:Mainly because, I had just come back from vacation and had not seen her for about 2 weeks and also I was stuck in meetings all day and was not able to make it over until later in the afternoon, which meant I was sitting in traffic for a good hour.
There are a lot of red flags here my man -- I don't like the smell of this!!!!!!!!absolutealex said:We planned to meet up, we're hanging out for about 15 minutes - her best friend makes an international call to her with a crisis. She says it's a really big deal and asks me to leave - I am bothered by this.
This has absolutely nothing to do with her sickness - this is a diversionary hor tactic!!!!absolutealex said:She was having the stomach flu - so there was not much to be done. However, it really bugged me so I brought it up to her and a fight ensued. This morning, she told me that I was really selfish and have not heard from her since.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.