Good emotional investment, but bad sex = still good standing?

[Ckowalsky]

Hi guys, new member here and I appreciate all your input and advice on my previous posts. I am very eager to learn what works and what does not in regards to pickup. Been a long time lurker and now deciding to take real action and learn!

If you go on a date/s with a girl and had initial value, social proof, and good rapport, but eventually had bad first lay (either it was just dry humping, or she did not orgasm), does all your initial value automatically vanish in the girl's eyes?

Just very curious about this. Has anyone here experienced that when you started out in pickup? Any criticisms and thoughts are welcome.

 

[wifehunter]

Sex is awkward anyway. Practice makes perfect.

 

[Serenity]

If emotion is what they're after I'd say a bad lay probably won't ruin anything. They'll probably just be patient and hope you improve in the future. If they were mostly interested in sex I'd say you might not see them again.

I don't have much experience being bad at sex though, I've always found it to be pretty simple.

 

[EyeBRollin]

How much a woman enjoys sex usually depends on how much she likes the person she's having sex with.

If she's bpd, a rough childhood, or emotional baggage out the ass, this won't apply.

 

[Ckowalsky]

I see. Thanks for the insights, guys. From my experiences, it has always been awkward during first sex, but I luckily ended up still going out with them. Not sure if this isnjust luck or if the girls just disregarded the first sex. All those times I've thought that they wouldn't want to have anything to do with me afterwards.
My first exception was my most recent date. Bad sex, then she became super distant afterward. But before sex she was very attracted to me.

 

[Ckowalsky]

depends

If they have REALLY high IL, they will view even bad sex as good, or blame themselves for it.

If they have high IL and are fairly reasonable and realistic about sex, they will give you another shot.

If they are using you primarily for asexual validation and the sex is just to keep you around validating them, they will give you another shot.

If you were never seriously considered for long term, just a fvck boy as they call it, then its over. IL isnt relevant since they can always find a new one of these.

If they have mid level IL its over.

If their identity is wrapped up in their sexuality(somatics) then its over, regardless of IL. Its the biggest insult to their value system and ego imaginable.

To be honest with you, having bad sex on the first date is probably one of the best screening tactics there is for screening out damaged women and low-mid level IL women, albeit humbling.

I see. This sounds really stupid but what does I.L. stand for again?

 

[Ckowalsky]

Th

interest level

Thanks! In my case with this girl (who was 7 years older than me (40), the IL was pretty high. She has seen me with girls and social proof in plenty occasions, and even told me she started to like me because I am intriguing and that we connect and am a good kisser. She even admitted being a little worried that my ex and I would get back. She was the one who asked me to hang out. Twice. Our second date was the first lay. She became distant after the first sex we had (second date). Has that happened to you guys before? A complete 180 after sex even if IL is high?

 

[Dingo]

Guys...

You better be a good lovers. Women out there have many options. If you are a lousy lay... a two pump chump no amount of nice fuzzy feelings you have for each other... it ain't going to last.

You want to be the guy that she compares others to.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Some broads will let bad first sex slide the first time around. Well IME they have, even tho it's only happened to me 1/2x. Zero fvcks give man. Let her ping you & that's your queue to set something up. She'll ether play the game or not, simple as that. Don't over complicate it. Do not contact her.

And like LA said with older broads it's sex and thats it, older broads will chew you up and spit you out.

 

[cola]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news. Most women have 0 sympathy for bad sex.

And since sex is mental, once she gets it in her mind your bad in bed it will be very challenging to redeem yourself.
You really need to put on a performance the first time.