Good conversational skills & flirting on video ?

[Cheeky_James]

I’ve just been perusing a bunch of YouTube infield videos , searching for examples of guys that can just hold a solid conversation with a woman and exude some kind of charisma/ charm /suaveness, and compell a woman to flirt /iOI back them.

And cannot find any.

Looking at PlayingWithFire, evolutiondaily, Alex leon, Austin Summer and another few random coaches tonight,
A lot of these guys just seem to operate off the same rudimentary script,

-Open with a generic compliment of her looks
-make a very short and lame attempt at flirting
-go straight into interview mode and ask heaps of basic boring questions
-propose date and try get contact details

worst cases - follow chicks up the street, doing all of the above , like p00sy beggars.

Is this really where guys are at?

one dude I’ve seen a few months back . that opens girls with “Hey, I like you!” Then quickly interview mode , and then ends with “would you like to come eat some squid with me sometime?” And asks for her email address for the contact details.

wtf is going on nowadays.

there must be something better than this, aurely.

 

[nicksaiz65]

There are some nice infields on this channel.

 

[BPH]

there must be something better than this, aurely.

Unfortunately, not really.

Having spent close to a year in this space with other "coaches" a lot of guys aren't using their real names, or are using paid models to act these out as skits. And it's because there's too much public risk attached to doing stuff like this, genuinely.

I'd almost gotten into a fight because some girls in the background of one of my approaches didn't like being recorded and had their boyfriends come threaten us. I'd had girls decide they no longer wanted to see me after finding my socials - sometimes the night before a date, other times after they'd already slept with me. And even if what you preach works, there are 10x more white knights, simps, and Karens who will comment that you're wrong...that you're sick... that what you do is manipulative...because nobody wants to raise their hand and say that they're struggling with women in a way that can be traced back to them - but PLENTY will openly blast you in the "defense" of women.

That's why you're left with guys who pull the sh** you mentioned, like asking for an email, because they think they've done something.

 

[Sega Genesis]

There are some nice infields on this channel.

I like his "free flowing" style of conversation and allowing your communication and energies to naturally and organically bounce back and forth between you versus canned lines and contrived strategies.

I would love to see the video he referenced of the actual date wherein SHE took the lead and suggested they have sex.

I think that happened to @BPH once wherein he met a girl on an app and two minutes after meeting in person SHE suggested they skip dinner and head up to his hotel room.

Am I remembering that correctly BPH?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

And it's because there's too much public risk attached to doing stuff like this, genuinely.

Funny you mention that...

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/09/14/secretly-filmed-by-meta-glasses/

Trying to defuse the situation, Beth typed her Instagram account name into the stranger’s phone. “I didn’t want to become a statistic,” she says of the encounter, referring to the increasing levels of violence towards women by men. “I wanted him to walk away rather than me having to leave the situation, because I thought that would be more dangerous.”

He left after he got her details, but the interaction left Beth shaken. When she told her friends and boyfriend about what had happened, she said the penny dropped: “I thought, ‘I bet he filmed me on those glasses.’”

Someone could be wearing smart glasses and clandestinely record you at the gym, in a changing room, at a cash machine, in a children’s playground or at a doctor’s appointment. While it is often legal to film people in public spaces in the UK without permission, the stealthy nature of Meta’s glasses has led to them being nicknamed “pervert glasses”.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Unfortunately, not really.

Having spent close to a year in this space with other "coaches" a lot of guys aren't using their real names, or are using paid models to act these out as skits. And it's because there's too much public risk attached to doing stuff like this, genuinely.

I'd almost gotten into a fight because some girls in the background of one of my approaches didn't like being recorded and had their boyfriends come threaten us. I'd had girls decide they no longer wanted to see me after finding my socials - sometimes the night before a date, other times after they'd already slept with me. And even if what you preach works, there are 10x more white knights, simps, and Karens who will comment that you're wrong...that you're sick... that what you do is manipulative...because nobody wants to raise their hand and say that they're struggling with women in a way that can be traced back to them - but PLENTY will openly blast you in the "defense" of women.

That's why you're left with guys who pull the sh** you mentioned, like asking for an email, because they think they've done something.

Hmm...that's a tricky situation...were you out in public or at a private club?

If you are out in public you should have told them to learn the laws, there is no right to privacy in public and they are being recorded all day every day by CCTV cameras all over the place.

If in a private club they could have a point as that would be up to the venue to establish what it allows. But it still wouldn't be anything you'd get in trouble for, they could just simply ask you to leave. They still have no right to privacy in public and being in a public club fits that general rule, however the club can have it's own policies on what it allows.

 

[BPH]

I think that happened to @BPH once wherein he met a girl on an app and two minutes after meeting in person SHE suggested they skip dinner and head up to his hotel room.

Am I remembering that correctly BPH?

I've never had a cold approach go so well that I booked a hotel room and went straight to sex.

I've had a few where I booked a room...but those were women who were upfront about what they wanted, just didn't have logistics in place for us to be private.

I've also had a few where it went so well that we left the bar and went straight to hers. But considering I NEVER do dinner dates, this doesn't sound like me.

Funny you mention that...

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/09/14/secretly-filmed-by-meta-glasses/

Trying to defuse the situation, Beth typed her Instagram account name into the stranger’s phone. “I didn’t want to become a statistic,” she says of the encounter, referring to the increasing levels of violence towards women by men. “I wanted him to walk away rather than me having to leave the situation, because I thought that would be more dangerous.”

He left after he got her details, but the interaction left Beth shaken. When she told her friends and boyfriend about what had happened, she said the penny dropped: “I thought, ‘I bet he filmed me on those glasses.’”

Someone could be wearing smart glasses and clandestinely record you at the gym, in a changing room, at a cash machine, in a children’s playground or at a doctor’s appointment. While it is often legal to film people in public spaces in the UK without permission, the stealthy nature of Meta’s glasses has led to them being nicknamed “pervert glasses”.

Exactly.

Some of the "coaches" would primarily do POV approaches, and they frequently got their accounts suspended because of the controversy surrounding these glasses and privacy.

Hmm...that's a tricky situation...were you out in public or at a private club?

It was a public bar, and I asked my friend to record it because I wanted to post content that wasn't staged. My friend was an idiot, and his recording was pretty obvious, so some girls in the background (not the ones I approached) came over and started questioning my friend. They weren't happy with his answers, so they came over and blew up my approach.

They followed me back to my friend and started questioning us again, demanding we delete the recording. I said the same thing you said - that it's a public place, that I'm not deleting anything, and that I don't need to tell them why we were recording. They returned with about 3 or 4 guys, presumably their boyfriends, made fun of us and called us weird, and started getting aggro. One of them threw his straw at me, and a bouncer who had been watching intervened and kicked them all out.

The staff asked us why they were so mad, so I explained the situation, and we were fine. The bar was closing soon, so my friend and I were mentally preparing for the possibility that we'd have to fight these guys when we left the bar - thankfully, that didn't happen.

This is why I think it's so hard to find good content to model: the guys who are doing well don't want to deal with this BS and damage their personal relationships so the internet can call them "toxic" for no real gain - it's definitely what I've been dealing with.

 

[Sega Genesis]

I've never had a cold approach go so well that I booked a hotel room and went straight to sex.

BPH, my post stated it wasn't a cold approach, you met on an app while you were visiting Philly.... I think? And you booked the hotel, met and within a few minutes she suggested going straight up to the room.

It was one of your LRs.

I only posted to illustrate how straightforward some women can be when they want.sex and not afraid to take the lead. Like in the video @nicksaiz65 linked.

Edit: It wasn't dinner it was drinks.

 

[BPH]

BPH, my post stated it wasn't a cold approach, you met on an app while you were visiting Philly.... I think? And you booked the hotel, met and within a few minutes she suggested going straight up to the room?

It was one of your LRs.

If you find it, let me know which one it was, because the ones back in May didn't involve a hotel room. There was one off a dating app maybe 2 years ago where I booked a room, but we still met up for drinks for a little while first - but that girl had already been sending me nudes and videos and stuff beforehand too.

 

[Cheeky_James]

Unfortunately, not really.

Having spent close to a year in this space with other "coaches" a lot of guys aren't using their real names, or are using paid models to act these out as skits. And it's because there's too much public risk attached to doing stuff like this, genuinely.

I'd almost gotten into a fight because some girls in the background of one of my approaches didn't like being recorded and had their boyfriends come threaten us. I'd had girls decide they no longer wanted to see me after finding my socials - sometimes the night before a date, other times after they'd already slept with me. And even if what you preach works, there are 10x more white knights, simps, and Karens who will comment that you're wrong...that you're sick... that what you do is manipulative...because nobody wants to raise their hand and say that they're struggling with women in a way that can be traced back to them - but PLENTY will openly blast you in the "defense" of women.

That's why you're left with guys who pull the sh** you mentioned, like asking for an email, because they think they've done something.

thanks BPH.
Good points.
somehow ,I keep forgetting that it’s weird (and illegal) to film interactions without the other parties consent and post them online.
So the vast majority of infield on YT channels has to be staged and fake , with hired girls or willing female friends of the coach.. right?

I used to check this guys Josef Smith channel a bit it’s not bad. But as per so many , he interjects with his analysis of each “move” constantly and it’s annoying to watch. But he stays away from questions and his banter is decent.

I do nmh at most of his theory videos. he’s onto a lot of the ‘vibe’ and elements required to transmit in a pickup.

But..he describes himself as a”borderline autistic , monotone , introverted , technical /nerd” type guy in his theory videos.
he looks more like a tall, athletic jock type to me .
This is a bit suspicious.
Plus that monotone voice is hard to listen to.
Maybe it’s sexy to chicks .. @Sega Genesis ..opinions?
George Clooney has a famous monotone so perhaps it helps idk..

@nicksaiz65 - that’s an interesting infield. I will check out this Hayden. I’ve come across him before, but he didn’t grab my attention for some reason.
Probably all this cutting and interjecting with analysis made me move on. it’s like all these guys pad out 1 minute of infield footage with 30 mins of interjecting and talking head bullsh1t. Grrr!
I like his “premise” explanation. This is important.

here’s another I’ve come across that Intrigued me..

But not sure, it looks a bit too easy.
He has some good explanation and ideas around’ trust’ though. Again. Very important.

In cold approaching , especially day time, any guy doing it is a STRANGER. He needs to get past ‘Stranger-Danger’ in a smart fashion.

 

[BPH]

thanks BPH.
Good points.
somehow ,I keep forgetting that it’s weird (and illegal) to film interactions without the other parties consent and post them online.
So the vast majority of infield on YT channels has to be staged and fake , with hired girls or willing female friends of the coach.. right?

It's not illegal to film in public places, but women will think it's weird and do not like it if it's done without their consent, or an attempt at censoring, which I believe defeats the entire purpose.

Many of these "coaches" use OF models, Instagram models, or stage interactions with their friends or long-term girlfriends. Even if they are genuine, like the one you posted above, most of the time they are either A. not attractive, B. not sleeping with them, or C. both.

I keep using "coaches" in quotes because I think the above encompasses a good portion of the guys I've met in this space as well, unfortunately. Additionally, I would say half of them focus on dating apps exclusively, rather than real-world success - some even use "questionable" methods to achieve this (AI touch-ups, for example).

It's all very disappointing, but I think it's because the guys who suck with women (their customers) want to believe in a fantasy.

 

[Bigpapa]

thanks BPH.
Good points.
somehow ,I keep forgetting that it’s weird (and illegal) to film interactions without the other parties consent and post them online.
So the vast majority of infield on YT channels has to be staged and fake , with hired girls or willing female friends of the coach.. right?

I used to check this guys Josef Smith channel a bit it’s not bad. But as per so many , he interjects with his analysis of each “move” constantly and it’s annoying to watch. But he stays away from questions and his banter is decent.

I do nmh at most of his theory videos. he’s onto a lot of the ‘vibe’ and elements required to transmit in a pickup.

But..he describes himself as a”borderline autistic , monotone , introverted , technical /nerd” type guy in his theory videos.
he looks more like a tall, athletic jock type to me .
This is a bit suspicious.
Plus that monotone voice is hard to listen to.
Maybe it’s sexy to chicks .. @Sega Genesis ..opinions?

@nicksaiz65 - that’s an interesting infield. I will check out this Hayden. I’ve come across him before, but he didn’t grab my attention for some reason. I’ll revisit.

here’s another I’ve come across that Intrigued me..

But not sure, it looks a bit too easy.
He has some good ideas around’ trust’ though.
Which IS very important.

In general, I think is a bad idea to view videos of other guys approaching ( especially since most of them are fake )

mainly because once you do the approach, you kinda now if the girl likes you or not, and women have in general very bad verbal game and if your verbal game is too good she will either think that you are a f8ckboy ( and make her more guarded and slower to move with you through the seduction process ) or she will get annoyed that you make her look like an idiot and start getting b1tchy ( usually this happens when a girl has a high ego )

all in all, as long as you are calibrated and sexy, it is irrelevant what you say once you open her, you just have to go with the flow ( even if that means that you are super cheesy or just stare at her )

 

[Sega Genesis]

If you find it, let me know which one it was, because the ones back in May didn't involve a hotel room. There was one off a dating app maybe 2 years ago where I booked a room, but we still met up for drinks for a little while first - but that girl had already been sending me nudes and videos and stuff beforehand too.

No worries it doesn't matter BPH, I am probably not remembering it correctly, you've posted a lot of LRs! Lol

I did post this (below) back in June in response to a discussion on early drink dates/Mode One, but again does not matter.

The point was to show that some women will take the lead on suggesting sex if that's what they want.

I recall one of your LRs wherein after meeting at the restaurant SHE was the one who wanted to ditch drinks and head straight to the room.

Perhaps I didn't recall this correctly either. Doesn't matter and apologizes for any confusion

 

[Cheeky_James]

In general, I think is a bad idea to view videos of other guys approaching ( especially since most of them are fake )

mainly because once you do the approach, you kinda now if the girl likes you or not, and women have in general very bad verbal game and if your verbal game is too good she will either think that you are a f8ckboy ( and make her more guarded and slower to move with you through the seduction process ) or she will get annoyed that you make her look like an idiot and start getting b1tchy ( usually this happens when a girl has a high ego )

all in all, as long as you are calibrated and sexy, it is irrelevant what you say once you open her, you just have to go with the flow ( even if that means that you are super cheesy or just stare at her )

hmmm. I’d disagree.
In my mind watching a guy who is a suave charmer chat up a chick on a video should be a great way to learn conversational skills.

just watching a really good guy do it and modelling/copying that , is the way to me. Yknow ..role-modelling.
Ideally IRL as a wingman, but second to that, on a video.
It’s better than (for example as an alternative) reading just words on a page without “tone” , and having to field test it all, bit by bit , and failing heaps to get results.
that’s the way, way longer learning curve ime.

But the problem is theres just hardly anything captured on video worth modelling it seems. So I get what you’re saying. I think.


there are Best Practices in talking to strangers to get interest, trust , comfort tho
and there are examples of people who have Charisma on video.

Why go super cheesy or just stare tho? I want to learn something better. I am pretty cheesy btw,( a master of the cheese) already. I’d like to get “better” by studying Great guys or listening to guys who have elements figured out better than moi. Yknow?

i get your point re fvckbois - to me the style now commonly taught as per my first post is like a wannabe-fvckboi approaching style, it’s so basic.

re best practices
Juggler from the old school has some sage advice here :

Seems like a smart guy to me , idk.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've never had a cold approach go so well that I booked a hotel room and went straight to sex.

I've had a few where I booked a room...but those were women who were upfront about what they wanted, just didn't have logistics in place for us to be private.

I've also had a few where it went so well that we left the bar and went straight to hers. But considering I NEVER do dinner dates, this doesn't sound like me.



Exactly.

Some of the "coaches" would primarily do POV approaches, and they frequently got their accounts suspended because of the controversy surrounding these glasses and privacy.



It was a public bar, and I asked my friend to record it because I wanted to post content that wasn't staged. My friend was an idiot, and his recording was pretty obvious, so some girls in the background (not the ones I approached) came over and started questioning my friend. They weren't happy with his answers, so they came over and blew up my approach.

They followed me back to my friend and started questioning us again, demanding we delete the recording. I said the same thing you said - that it's a public place, that I'm not deleting anything, and that I don't need to tell them why we were recording. They returned with about 3 or 4 guys, presumably their boyfriends, made fun of us and called us weird, and started getting aggro. One of them threw his straw at me, and a bouncer who had been watching intervened and kicked them all out.

The staff asked us why they were so mad, so I explained the situation, and we were fine. The bar was closing soon, so my friend and I were mentally preparing for the possibility that we'd have to fight these guys when we left the bar - thankfully, that didn't happen.

This is why I think it's so hard to find good content to model: the guys who are doing well don't want to deal with this BS and damage their personal relationships so the internet can call them "toxic" for no real gain - it's definitely what I've been dealing with.

Another reason why I hardly ever go out to these places anymore. Too many idiots out there using alcohol as an excuse to try and start fights or try and show off to their women.

I've never actually had anyone directly try to start anything with me, but there is always a first time for everything, especially if they have numbers.

 

[Sega Genesis]

All in all, as long as you are calibrated and sexy, it is irrelevant what you say once you open her, you just have to go with the flow ( even if that means that you are super cheesy or just stare at her )

@Bigpapa did you watch the video? Because what you describe here^^ is precisely what the guy advises - free flowing communication (go with the flow), ditch the canned pick-up lines and contrived strategies, and go with the natural vibe happening between you just as you would if this were not a cold approach.

Be natural, be authentic, he even said it does not matter what you say as long as you are calibrated and authentic versus following some silly pua/redpill script, you're ahead of the game.

I find it interesting how many guys here don't read the sosuave articles or watch the relevant videos attached but yet have a lot to say about it, mostly negative.

Heck I am a chick and I am interested in all of it.

 

[Cheeky_James]

It's not illegal to film in public places, but women will think it's weird and do not like it if it's done without their consent, or an attempt at censoring, which I believe defeats the entire purpose.

Many of these "coaches" use OF models, Instagram models, or stage interactions with their friends or long-term girlfriends. Even if they are genuine, like the one you posted above, most of the time they are either A. not attractive, B. not sleeping with them, or C. both.

I keep using "coaches" in quotes because I think the above encompasses a good portion of the guys I've met in this space as well, unfortunately. Additionally, I would say half of them focus on dating apps exclusively, rather than real-world success - some even use "questionable" methods to achieve this (AI touch-ups, for example).

It's all very disappointing, but I think it's because the guys who suck with women (their customers) want to believe in a fantasy.

Truth.
that’s an interesting story about your attempt at filming infield. This is what I’d expect to happen tbh. And naturally so.
Day time would be much better than busy nightlife. The cameraman would have to be elsewhere , mayhe across the street and hidden in a bush with a long range video camera or some ****
And you wearing a wire or dem special glasses.

I tried do some video at a street festival years ago of a chat up . Man I was sweating it hard that I’d get busted stressful stuff.

So have you come across any good and real infield .. at all??

 

[BPH]

So have you come across any good and real infield .. at all??

I can't think of any.

Because even if they are communicating well and being direct enough, they usually aren't going for the caliber of woman I'd be interested in. Since they don't have what I want, I don't bother.

The only example that comes to mind is King 6'8". The dude is a tall, ripped, rich black guy living out in Miami. He doesn't usually do the approaching - he usually lets the girls come to him.

But most of them are attractive, so that's the only "good" example off the top of my head.

 

[Cheeky_James]

I can't think of any.

Because even if they are communicating well and being direct enough, they usually aren't going for the caliber of woman I'd be interested in. Since they don't have what I want, I don't bother.

The only example that comes to mind is King 6'8". The dude is a tall, ripped, rich black guy living out in Miami. He doesn't usually do the approaching - he usually lets the girls come to him.

But most of them are attractive, so that's the only "good" example off the top of my head.

Sheeit …he a tall motha
Interesting channel for sure.

This vid funny at 31:50 when an even bigger dude turns up.. Larry the Bucks (?) player.
And watch Larry death stare the chick when she tries to chastise him. Haha!

 

[Bingo-Player]

You would be better off looking at some characters in TV shows / movies that are successful with women and model off that

Daniel Craig in most of his bond movies has very well written seduction scenes with strong willed female characters

I'm not saying this is going to play out exactly the same in the real world because it won't you have to be very very careful not to come off as rehearsed or corny but it gives a basis on what gets women a bit weak at the knees

They very much like it when the man has total control over both the conversation and the environment they are in.

Very recently I have been scoping out a nice piece In my Gym , she had always given me some small IOI's so I just approached with small talk about her training and the conversation went well we exchanged names and left it at that

a few weeks later I saw her again she smiled at me and I approached but this time the interaction felt a bit more forced I was a little more nervous and anxious and as a result so was she the conversation was more awkward

Didn't see her again for about 6-7 weeks then last week she literally almost walked straight into me , I wasn't at all expecting to even see her and was kind of in my own world . but the conversation flowed so much better because there was absolutely zero pressure

I find being in that sort of " IDGAF " headspace is a really good place to be when speaking to women , like you dont particularly want anything from her , she can't work out if you want anything from her and then the guards come down a bit

I think flying in with " YOU"RE GORGEOUS " is probably only going to work on really drunk women or attention Wh0res. Don't get me wrong I have used it on nights out but its not something thats particularly effective and sets expectations really high

Most women these days know their gorgeous its not exactly a secret weapon , generic comments about their eyes they've heard it all before.