@biggoal , I'm going to say something that you will not comprehend fully today, but you will start to understand as the next few years go by.
Your main problem is that you don't have
standards. You ask the same questions again and again and again, but you don't take solid, measurable action nor have you developed standards for yourself.
You should think about who you are, what your wants and needs are, and start to develop a life of standards. What so you expect from yourself? What do you expect from friends? From women?
You come across as being like air.
Women are air, men are ground. Women are all about "What if? What should I do? How should I feel about xzy?" Instead you need to plant your feet on the ground and stop maintaining your life as one big question mark.
Start thinking in terms of developing standards. You have complained repeatedly about the average age of women where you live. It's time to either reap whatever harvest is there, or decide to move. It's good that you ordered your home gym. You need to research how to use it as a basic, slightly built newbie. Google is your friend.
Everything I just said will mean very little to you today. All I'm doing is exposing you to the idea, just planting a seed. Try to meditate on the phrase, "Women are air, men are ground". The only way to ground yourself is to make decisions and don't look back. Try to identify what your standards are in life. What is the life that you want to live? Is it selling phone cases at the flea market and living around old-timers all your life until you become an old-timer yourself? If that's what you're all about, then go for it. But from what you write here, I suspect you want more than that.
Most of the time, we remain stuck in life because we can't see ourselves making changes, and can't see ourselves maintaining the changes we want to make, so we stay in the safe zone. The most important thing you can do is to
define the life you want, and then design that life. It starts with baby steps. Your workout machine is an excellent baby step. I think it's great. Now you need to think about the standards that you want in your life and develop baby steps toward shifting toward that life.
Life favors the bold. It also smacks the bold in the face every once in a while. Life smacks the timid in the face daily.
