Girlfriend met Ex boyfriend.

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#1
Hi all,

Girlfriend told me ex boyfriend has contacted her (which shes messaged back) and turning up at her place unannounced. She met him for coffee (red flag) without telling me to tell him she wants nothing to do with him anymore. He got angry and hounding her. She's rung the police on him and told me she loves me. I trust her but ffs. I'm too old for this shlt.
 
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#2
Okay. I'm always concerned when an ex opens a door for another ex just from my past experience. It's like emotional cheating regardless if anything happened or not. It's just the drama element that is going on also. Women feed off drama. They'll say they don't but the truth is they do. I'm not sure how old you are and how old she is. If she is younger she will do this again at some point. If she is older and you are older, it could be because of the situation you might be in with money/security/career. Showing that you are the better choice. So clarify a bit with the ages.
 
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#3
Okay. I'm always concerned when an ex opens a door for another ex just from my past experience. It's like emotional cheating regardless if anything happened or not. It's just the drama element that is going on also. Women feed off drama. They'll say they don't but the truth is they do. I'm not sure how old you are and how old she is. If she is younger she will do this again at some point. If she is older and you are older, it could be because of the situation you might be in with money/security/career. Showing that you are the better choice. So clarify a bit with the ages.
Hey mate,

We both mid thirties.
 

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#7
I would tell her “Oh you met him? I didn’t know we were having contact with our exes, I had stopped all contact with mine. Thanks for letting me know”. Now the ball is In her court to remedy the situation to your satisfaction. If she doesn’t then you are now in an open relationship and can go nail an ex or whoever else you want on the side. I always tell my LTRs that It’s going to be an equal playing field. If they are talking to exes then I will too. If they are seeing exes then I will too. If they have orbiters then I will too. Equal playing field
 
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#11
Meeting him up for coffee to tell him it's over doesn't add up, but she could have been conflicted. Wanted to see if the grass was greener, but he turned her off somehow and that's why she got the restraining order put on him. It's either that or she's lying to your face, but I would say you don't know which one it is yet. Give her time to reveal her cards. But still in any case, the fact that she chose to meet up with her ex in the first place is not a good sign regardless of what happens on their date or after.
 
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Danger

Master Don Juan
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#13
How long have she and her ex been broken up?

How did you find out they met?

This really is unacceptable behavior, and she obviously adjusts the narrative that she is the victim of him and is displaying total loyalty to you.

Her narrative is a lie because as pointed out above, it is not congruent with her actions.
 

Chi Town

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#15
Well obviously shes lying and she could of told him it was over on the phone, who the hell meets someone for coffee to tell them that?

And stop saying "I trust her" it clouds your judgment and makes you naive and easy to manipulate. She's just as capable of fvcking you over as anyone else.

As of now, just watch her and be vigilant, listen to your gut.

Me: I take your recent actions as very disrespectful to me and our relationship, I don't deal with women who messes with her exes in any way shape or form, if something like this happens again this relationship is over.
 
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#16
Meeting him up for coffee to tell him it's over doesn't add up, but she could have been conflicted. Wanted to see if the grass was greener, but he turned her off somehow and that's why she got the restraining order put on him. It's either that or she's lying to your face, but I would say you don't know which one it is yet. Give her time to reveal her cards. But still in any case, the fact that she chose to meet up with her ex in the first place is not a good sign regardless of what happens on their date or after.
Yes, this is my concern. Meeting up with an ex is not a good sign.

She was only with him for 2 months as well. Absolutely ridiculous. He's harressed her before as well before i started seeing her.
 
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#18
Me: I take your recent actions as very disrespectful to me and our relationship, I don't deal with women who messes with her exes in any way shape or form, if something like this happens again this relationship is over.
I'm of two minds about this. On one hand saying this to her may simply let her know what to hide, and even if you're of the opinion that what you don't know doesn't hurt you, it will affect the relationship in a negative way. On the other hand if you don't think you can say this to her because you can't trust her to respect it, and you instead just play it cool and see what she does, you could say what's the point of being in a "relationship" with a person you can't trust?

Hmmm....


Yes, this is my concern. Meeting up with an ex is not a good sign.

She was only with him for 2 months as well. Absolutely ridiculous. He's harressed her before as well before i started seeing her.
Well from the thread that LA85 linked, the joke is on you. You're still with a woman you should probably already have left, and now she's doing this. The precedent from that other thread definitely tints this event more negatively than before, but if you choose to stay with repeated bad behavior from her, it's on you.
 
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#19
Just spoke to her. He got arrested and put in a cell as well. She made a statement to police.

Thats what she said. Having doubts about this whole thing lads. My gut is telling me.
 
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#20
I'm of two minds about this. On one hand saying this to her may simply let her know what to hide, and even if you're of the opinion that what you don't know doesn't hurt you, it will affect the relationship in a negative way. On the other hand if you don't think you can say this to her because you can't trust her to respect it, and you instead just play it cool and see what she does, you could say what's the point of being in a "relationship" with a person you can't trust?


Hmmm....




Well from the thread that LA85 linked, the joke is on you. You're still with a woman you should probably already have left, and now she's doing this. The precedent from that other thread definitely tints this event more negatively than before, but if you choose to stay with repeated bad behavior from her, it's on you.
You know what, your right.
 
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