You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Try for solid commitments when you ask a girl out. Don't settle for "I'll let you know" or "I'll call you that day." In this case it may be harder since she might have work, but when does she find out what times she works for the week? If she doesn't know until say Sunday, you can still just be like "okay, well I can't guarantee I won't have made other plans by then" in a half-joking way.verysuave said:ahh thankx. So i called her up today (wednesday). asked for a date for next tuesday to go bowling and she said she'll definitely go if she's not working. We'll see.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I think that something along the lines of "It's ok, but you're gonna have to make it up to me somehowverysuave said:so, i asked her out wednesday of last week..to hang out next tuesday
it was tuesday 2 days ago but i haven't called nor texted her since last wednesday to confirm the date since some crap came up and i didnt have time myself...
yesterday i get a text from her saying "hey,sorry about tuesday, i was super busy and had school, maybe some other time"
how should i respond (I haven't responded yet) or not respond at all?
if i do respond should i say:
#1 "that's okay, it doesn't matter to me"
#2 "yeah and maybe i might give you a 2nd chance =)
#3 "i only ask once
help, tnx
drtk said:I think that something along the lines of "It's ok, but you're gonna have to make it up to me somehow" is enough in your situation.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
okay this is how it went downcoolf1r3 said:Chase her, you animal, you.
Most likely, that's correct.I.A.F.Y.B. said:She said she is dating. She didn't say she had a boyfriend. So, looks like open game for you.