First time at her place and you need to take a dump?

[Bumsniff]

Any Sh1tiquette advice for a first time at her house and you have to take a dump? :moon:

Matches to mask your scent?

 

[Warrior74]

Just don't do this brah and you should be fine.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191&p=421311261#post421311261

 

[Bumsniff]

This thread is for the lactose intolerant or irritable bowel DJs.

Besides matches to mask the scent I'd also recommend flushing twice. Especially if you drop a 'bomb'. Once after you've relieved yourself and a second time after wiping. (Especially if she doesn't own a plunger. You could end up in sh1ts creek.)

Also carry in a little plastic bag with baby wipes to finish up for extra cleanliness.

You may also want to watch what you eat and or carry some immodium AD in a travel pack sold at your local 7-11 when you've picked up comdoms.

Follow these tips to avoid an embarrassing situation and keep yourself fresh and clean.

 

[dronkitto]

Dude please! Having sex after ****ting without washing is gross! That's why people all over the world should get a bidet in every house! u.u

 

[floydb25]

Just don't do this brah and you should be fine.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191&p=421311261#post421311261

Dude, I laughed so unbelievably hard at this. I love you.

 

[AJMS]

Just don't do this brah and you should be fine.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191&p=421311261#post421311261

LOL OMG, This taught me how to use proper sh!etiquette

 

[FairShake]

I am so awkward and nervous around women that I often need to drop the kids off at the pool when I'm getting to know them alone. What has worked for me is cleaning the pipes version 2.0. I drink alot of coffee before a date and drop a large deuce before I ever see them.

Carrying babywipes is a must btw.

 

[bigneil]

Just hold it in long enough and it will slowly leak out in gas form.

Or just shlt yourself and ask if she has a changing room.

 

[Bumsniff]

Dude please! Having sex after ****ting without washing is gross! That's why people all over the world should get a bidet in every house! u.u

As well as using toilet paper that is too soft. Dingleberries are a major turn off during sex.

 

[Aaron B]

grab some tp and squat in the backyard

if she asks tell her you thought you heard someone outside and went to investigate

 

[BigJimbo]

This is why adult males need to date below them. That means dating much younger broads and ones who are at a much lower economic class than you are. That way you are just ECCENTRIC. You can take a sloppy dump in your pants and she won't mind.

Key Point: Don't listen to American b.s. Always date much younger broads who are below you in society. It helps if you leave your country and find a place where you are considered very foreign. She will accept all of your behaviors as being "exotic". Trust me. It works. If I dated broads my age in America I would (1) Have STD's (2) Be the punchline for jokes among women. Not the case in Ukraine.

Remember, American society is perverse. If you date a girl who could be your sister that is called incest. If you date a girl who could be your daughter that is called...uh...F--- it, just date her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHybmFlBPHA
Hey, the French agree with me. So I must be right.

 

[Gray The Prince]

This is why adult males need to date below them. That means dating much younger broads and ones who are at a much lower economic class than you are. That way you are just ECCENTRIC. You can take a sloppy dump in your pants and she won't mind.

Key Point: Don't listen to American b.s. Always date much younger broads who are below you in society. It helps if you leave your country and find a place where you are considered very foreign. She will accept all of your behaviors as being "exotic". Trust me. It works. If I dated broads my age in America I would (1) Have STD's (2) Be the punchline for jokes among women. Not the case in Ukraine.

Remember, American society is perverse. If you date a girl who could be your sister that is called incest. If you date a girl who could be your daughter that is called...uh...F--- it, just date her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHybmFlBPHA
Hey, the French agree with me. So I must be right.

I thought you retired from being the local SoSuave troll?

 

[wake_me]

Just don't do this brah and you should be fine.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191&p=421311261#post421311261

I am aware. You a miscer, brah?

 

[vatoloco]

You know, sometimes you just gotta take care of your shit.

 

[Bumsniff]

This is why adult males need to date below them. That means dating much younger broads and ones who are at a much lower economic class than you are. That way you are just ECCENTRIC. You can take a sloppy dump in your pants and she won't mind.

Key Point: Don't listen to American b.s. Always date much younger broads who are below you in society. It helps if you leave your country and find a place where you are considered very foreign. She will accept all of your behaviors as being "exotic". Trust me. It works. If I dated broads my age in America I would (1) Have STD's (2) Be the punchline for jokes among women. Not the case in Ukraine.

Remember, American society is perverse. If you date a girl who could be your sister that is called incest. If you date a girl who could be your daughter that is called...uh...F--- it, just date her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHybmFlBPHA
Hey, the French agree with me. So I must be right.

So next time I meet a woman and I'm at her house for the first time while having to take a dump I should ask to borrow her computer to book a flight to the Ukraine to take a sh!t?

 

[SoSuaveDude]

lots of unawares in this thread haha.

 

[f283000]

1. throw some toilet paper in the water in order to "cushion" the fall of those bombs. This is a good way to avoid the sound of bombs dropping on water if you know what i mean. Just don't overdo it with the toilet paper you don't want bad luck to get you and somehow clogg the toilet

2. Don't eat mexican/chinese or fast food in general before your date just to be safe.

3. don' eat in a hurry before a date: When I have a date I eat a bigger lunch than normal (lunch is around 12 or so for me) so that i won't have to eat dinner later. That way if the food doesn't do me good i'll have already used the bathroom by the night night comes for my date. There's always the danger that if you have dinner that the food won't do you good and you might want to go to the bathroom during the date.

If you eat a big lunch you can sustain yourself with energy bars or whatever at night.

4. always carry baby wipes: I know this has been mentioned before but it has to be said again. I use baby wipes whether im bring one home or if i'm going to her place. I just want to be as fresh as possible. Just ask her to use her restroom and wipe yourself fresh. She'll have less qualms about going down on you.

 

[Bumsniff]

1. throw some toilet paper in the water in order to "cushion" the fall of those bombs. This is a good way to avoid the sound of bombs dropping on water if you know what i mean. Just don't overdo it with the toilet paper you don't want bad luck to get you and somehow clogg the toilet

2. Don't eat mexican/chinese or fast food in general before your date just to be safe.

3. don' eat in a hurry before a date: When I have a date I eat a bigger lunch than normal (lunch is around 12 or so for me) so that i won't have to eat dinner later. That way if the food doesn't do me good i'll have already used the bathroom by the night night comes for my date. There's always the danger that if you have dinner that the food won't do you good and you might want to go to the bathroom during the date.

If you eat a big lunch you can sustain yourself with energy bars or whatever at night.

4. always carry baby wipes: I know this has been mentioned before but it has to be said again. I use baby wipes whether im bring one home or if i'm going to her place. I just want to be as fresh as possible. Just ask her to use her restroom and wipe yourself fresh. She'll have less qualms about going down on you.

Good tips.

You may also want to see if she has a switch for a fan in her bathroom and or open the window a bit or more.

Check for Lysol or Febreeze etc. in the bathroom cabinets.

Matches work well for extra scent masking. Light and blow one out quickly. (Always carry a book.)

Like F283000 said: Put some toilet paper in first to cushion the fall and or possible backsplash.

You can also flush as soon as the first trophy sized brown trout starts dropping and keep your legs closed so it helps sealing in the stink a bit while the suction from the flush draws in most of your anal cologne.

 

[Johnnyventana]

Really on this topic? Well, when we were 3, we learned to hold it.

No chick is gonna want to pound your nasty in the bathroom for 10 minutes arse! Would you want to go down on her if this was her forum topic? Yuck.

 

[shizz702]

What a sh!tty thread.

Pun intended lol.