Feel Free To Criticize My Texting Game

[BPH]

I followed most of @BPH 's advice when I got around to it. I don't do what he says right away, because, with all due respect, he's not an authority figure. Since it's my personal mess, it's my responsibility to critically examine my own situation. You can see though that he gets upset that I don't follow his advice right away and to the letter. Yes he gets laid, good for him, but that doesn't make him an authority figure. People who believe in authority figures, or seek to be authority figures are in what I call the "proto-consicous" stage due to the lack of integration. That's why you see me emphasizing reason, I'm trying to get people up to par.

Whether I'm an authority figure depends on the subject and how you define it.

Is the subject about seducing women?

Because then, yeah, I would certainly consider myself an authority figure there. I've been with more women last month than some guys have been with, ever.

You yourself consider me enough of an authority figure to tag me and ask my opinion, specifically. And why is that? Because I have what you want, or at the very least, am a lot closer to your goal than you are.

I love helping guys who actually listen to advice and act on it. That's why I loved working with @nicksaiz65. In the first, maybe 2 months together, he brought home 3 new women. The reason you haven't done that is that you think you know better, or that you need me to fully explain myself so you can completely understand my advice before you act on it.

I get nothing tangible out of helping you, and over time, it's a lot of wasted time and effort watching you not listen and continue to do things your way - the way that hasn't been working.

 

[Plinco]

So you only listen to people who, in your mind are “authority figures”?

Whether I'm an authority figure depends on the subject and how you define it.

hahahaha

That's the opposite of was I was getting at.

I thought I was saying that appeal to authority is at a lower stage but somehow you folks interpreted what I said to mean the opposite.

When I said he's not an authority figure, I meant not for me.

Again, no disrespect to you.

 

[retardedautist2020]

When I said he's not an authority figure, I meant not for me.

I’m sorry but I have no idea what the f*ck you’re trying to say.

Plinco I wish you the best of luck. You’ve rubbed BPH and I the wrong way, and bros are the easiest people to get along with. A lot of the stuff you say has come across as weird, socially awkward, arrogant, insulting, passive aggressive, etc., the list goes on.

Women can spot these qualities a mile away. Hence, the names they called you such as “weird”, and “creep”.

 

[Plinco]

I’m sorry but I have no idea what the f*ck you’re trying to say.

Plinco I wish you the best of luck. You’ve rubbed BPH and I the wrong way, and bros are the easiest people to get along with. A lot of the stuff you say has come across as weird, socially awkward, arrogant, insulting, passive aggressive, etc., the list goes on.

Women can spot these qualities a mile away. Hence, the names they called you such as “weird”, and “creep”.

Actually I was being very patient and a gentlemen to both of you. To be more blunt, it's you that needs to work on your reading comprehension skills; I've spelled out everything clearly.

 

[Plinco]

I just realized something after re-reading this thread. It's not a personal criticism of @BPH but I've noticed that when I don't follow his input he takes it personally. Wouldn't that constitute as neediness on his part? @BeExcellent I remember that you thought I was a being needy because I would get frustrated when people acted stupid. If I were in his place, I would give my advice to someone, and if that person didn't follow my advice, I would just say something like "I told you so," I would be invested in my own performance, but not the outcome to the extent that I'm not in control of.

If someone fabricates something, or violate a rule that makes sense, then I get frustrated, or even angry, and this was considered to be neediness.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

1) No

2) Normal people ask for advice, they accept it, say thank you and apply it.

You asked for advice, we give it, you don’t even say thank you, or “I’ll try that next time” and you get combative because you view it as ”authority”?

The English 18th century writer Samuel Johnson summed it up best:

"Advice is seldom welcome. Those who need it most, like it least."

 

[nicksaiz65]

The English 18th century writer Samuel Johnson summed it up best:

"Advice is seldom welcome. Those who need it most, like it least."

Hodge Twins: “At the end of the day… it’s just advice. You can do whatever the FVCK you wanna do!”

 

[BPH]

I just realized something after re-reading this thread. It's not a personal criticism of @BPH but I've noticed that when I don't follow his input he takes it personally. Wouldn't that constitute as neediness on his part?

I don't take it personally that you don't follow my advice. Again, I get nothing out of your success or failure.

What annoys me is how often you ASK for my advice, then DON'T take it.

You say I'm not an authority figure, why? Because YOU need to understand the inner workings of my advice before you can take it? Do you need to fully understand how breathing works before you're willing to take in air? Do you need to know that the diaphragm contracts, pulls the rib cage up and outward, expanding your chest to create a vacuum that lowers the pressure in your lungs, during which air is sucked down through the trachea into your lungs?

Or do you just f***ing breathe?

You: "What's 5+5?"
Me: "10"
You: "Got it, so that must mean it's somewhere between 7 and 12"

Furthermore, I don't know why you keep tagging me in this.

EDIT: Literally refer to the success of the guy above me, @nicksaiz65 , who DID take my advice...

 

[nicksaiz65]

My 2 cents:

In general: I don’t think it’s about authority or not, the point of this website is for guys with different backgrounds and opinions to come together & have an open discussion in our experiences in what works with women, and what doesn’t. I think it’s a good thing that we can all have different opinions.

Everything here should be taken with a grain of salt. Field test it, maybe it works maybe it doesn’t. Maybe things work for you, maybe they don’t. Different things work for different people too.

EDIT: I suppose you also could say, YMMV.

 

[BeExcellent]

Couple of quick points. For @Plinco you have been given many opinions about a number of things around here. From that we can assert that:

A.) Whatever you are asking about you seek a solution to,

and

B.) Whatever you have been doing prior to seeking a solution here IS NOT WORKING.

Given those 2 assertions there are things you can change to obtain better results. Some of those things are bigger things like stop being emotionally volatile or angry at the folks trying to assist you, some of things are smaller things like get your appearance on point (better haircut, etc.)

You have a pronounced tendency to over-analyze and get angry when you are given advice, and sure, YMMV is always true to a degree, but you choose often to argue about why you shouldn't have to make changes/adjustments/modification (both in appearance and in attitude), and you just want to argue.

Which brings me to possibility that:

C.) You are a troll who is simply seeking attention and validation, and are unwilling to adapt, learn, grow, improve, etc.

Now. IF the reality of the matter is actually C.)? Well in that case there is nothing anyone here can do to assist you, and wasting time giving you additional attention is, well, a waste of time.

There are guys here that really ARE seeking solutions, who really ARE ready to adapt, grow, change, learn, improve etc., and member time (for those of us who actually try and aid in this process) is better spent on members where the information can find fertile ground, take root, and grow. Endless rhetoric and endless circular arguments are pointless, and useless and frankly detract from helping men who want to improve, get on with that personal growth trajectory. Everyone is their own individual, and of course YMMV, but each of us has a trajectory toward being a better, more successful version of ourselves, and that is a worthwhile endeavor.

If that is not what you are doing? If you are just being obstinate? My time is better deployed assisting others who are more open to the required self examination required to actually improve.

Cheers.

 

[Plinco]

Furthermore, I don't know why you keep tagging me in this.

I've said this before to another forum member. If I'm going to talk about them, it's respectful to tag them. That doesn't mean I'm asking for their advice. They can just ignore the tag like anything else.

C.) You are a troll who is simply seeking attention and validation, and are unwilling to adapt, learn, grow, improve, etc.

Now. IF the reality of the matter is actually C.)? Well in that case there is nothing anyone here can do to assist you, and wasting time giving you additional attention is, well, a waste of time.

There are guys here that really ARE seeking solutions, who really ARE ready to adapt, grow, change, learn, improve etc., and member time (for those of us who actually try and aid in this process) is better spent on members where the information can find fertile ground, take root, and grow. Endless rhetoric and endless circular arguments are pointless, and useless and frankly detract from helping men who want to improve, get on with that personal growth trajectory. Everyone is their own individual, and of course YMMV, but each of us has a trajectory toward being a better, more successful version of ourselves, and that is a worthwhile endeavor.

I'm looking at two pieces of paper on my desk of notes working on my communication style. I've been using AI and practicing when I talk to strangers or acquaintances. I did that last night and will do that again tonight.

I brought up the neediness part because this morning it dawned on me and it was interesting to explore. I remembered that you wrote out paragraphs of examples which I appreciated you taking the time to do. It left me thinking further about what exactly is neediness. A common symptom of which is an expression of an emotional interest that one cannot control the outcome. For example, if rioters get upset because their soccer team lost, that's an expression of neediness.

Edit

Also, I stress test other people's ideas to see how well they hold up. Stress and competition breeds competency. It's part of the discussion and raises the bar on quality. I don't get angry, but it seems that some people get angry when I discuss their ideas. That's their problem and not mine.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've said this before to another forum member. If I'm going to talk about them, it's respectful to tag them. That doesn't mean I'm asking for their advice. They can just ignore the tag like anything else.




I'm looking at two pieces of paper on my desk of notes working on my communication style. I've been using AI and practicing when I talk to strangers or acquaintances. I did that last night and will do that again tonight.

I brought up the neediness part because this morning it dawned on me and it was interesting to explore. I remembered that you wrote out paragraphs of examples which I appreciated you taking the time to do. It left me thinking further about what exactly is neediness. A common symptom of which is an expression of an emotional interest that one cannot control the outcome. For example, if rioters get upset because their soccer team lost, that's an expression of neediness.

Edit

Also, I stress test other people's ideas to see how well they hold up. Stress and competition breeds competency. It's part of the discussion and raises the bar on quality. I don't get angry, but it seems that some people get angry when I discuss their ideas. That's their problem and not mine.

Ditch the AI and go talk to old people. You'd get far more benefit out of it.

Trying to use a robot to learn how to be human is extremely weird. You become more human by practicing being human and not just when trying to pick up women.

Your goal should be to become a better conversationalist in general. Using it when talking to women is simply a small subset of the bigger skill involved and you are not training that skill effectively enough.

At the end of the day it's going to take a lot of work to override your tendencies you have built over your entire life and reset them, but it starts with active application of things routinely to reset how your mind works in that regard.

Without this your brain will simply default back to what you have done your whole life.

 

[Plinco]

Ditch the AI and go talk to old people. You'd get far more benefit out of it.

Trying to use a robot to learn how to be human is extremely weird. You become more human by practicing being human and not just when trying to pick up women.

Your goal should be to become a better conversationalist in general. Using it when talking to women is simply a small subset of the bigger skill involved and you are not training that skill effectively enough.

At the end of the day it's going to take a lot of work to override your tendencies you have built over your entire life and reset them, but it starts with active application of things routinely to reset how your mind works in that regard.

Without this your brain will simply default back to what you have done your whole life.

I agree with you on principle. I've also been using AI to play around with the concept of "maturity"

I've been over analyzing myself and I think it's time I need to take a break from this forum. Right now this format is doing more harm than good for me and I just need to just do me for a while. Lately I feel like I'm walking on egg shells because people interpret it as I'm angry and attacking them when I'm having a discussion.

Older people are great to talk to because unfortunately they don't have many people to talk to. Most of my customers are older folks so I do talk to them a bit if I'm not too busy. I do have to censor myself though around them.

I'm a damn good communicator but I'm out of practice.

 

[retardedautist2020]

The English 18th century writer Samuel Johnson summed it up best:

"Advice is seldom welcome. Those who need it most, like it least."

Tell about it.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I agree with you on principle. I've also been using AI to play around with the concept of "maturity"

I've been over analyzing myself and I think it's time I need to take a break from this forum. Right now this format is doing more harm than good for me and I just need to just do me for a while. Lately I feel like I'm walking on egg shells because people interpret it as I'm angry and attacking them when I'm having a discussion.

Older people are great to talk to because unfortunately they don't have many people to talk to. Most of my customers are older folks so I do talk to them a bit if I'm not too busy. I do have to censor myself though around them.

I'm a damn good communicator but I'm out of practice.

Talk to random people out in public. At the store, in the checkout line, at the gym, etc

 

[Plinco]

The English 18th century writer Samuel Johnson summed it up best:

"Advice is seldom welcome. Those who need it most, like it least."

For the record, I've applied about 80% or more of BPH's suggestions.

Some of those things are bigger things like stop being emotionally volatile or angry at the folks trying to assist you

I just re-read this thread and I don't see any point where I was angry or emotionally volatile. I get angry sometimes, but after reading this I don't see it here.

I love helping people identify trees and answer questions related to that. If someone asked me on how I know something and wants more detail, I love that even more because it shows that they are engaged. I asked a question about neediness which I really didn't get the full answer but maybe I should have put it in another thread. I think my concept of it is correct anyway.

You have a pronounced tendency to over-analyze and get angry when you are given advice, and sure, YMMV is always true to a degree, but you choose often to argue about why you shouldn't have to make changes/adjustments/modification (both in appearance and in attitude), and you just want to argue.

After reading through this thread again, the only two people I've been combative with are @craider and @retardedautist2020
Craider wanted to debate me so there's obviously no problem there, and retardedautist to be perfectly blunt needs to have a little push back after saying that I"m "arrogant, insulting, passive aggressive" which is nowhere to be found coming from me here. It looks like the pattern is that I entertain ideas from other people here, some get upset that I don't act on it (which is dumb of in itself because I'm under no obligation), and when I give my input (because this is a disscution), people get butt hurt and say that I'm angry.

Talk to random people out in public. At the store, in the checkout line, at the gym, etc

I do that sometimes

You say I'm not an authority figure, why? Because YOU need to understand the inner workings of my advice before you can take it? Do you need to fully understand how breathing works before you're willing to take in air? Do you need to know that the diaphragm contracts, pulls the rib cage up and outward, expanding your chest to create a vacuum that lowers the pressure in your lungs, during which air is sucked down through the trachea into your lungs?

This is an invalid analogy fallacy. Breathing is a sensual exercise that does not require higher brain functions, whereas human interaction is abstract and requires the use of reason.

 

[MatureDJ]

I have never once in my life asked a girl what her 5-year plan is...

The only time I've heard about a "5 year plan" was when communist countries would do it.

Five-year plan - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[craider]

Craider wanted to debate me so there's obviously no problem there, and retardedautist to be perfectly blunt needs to have a little push back after saying that I"m "arrogant, insulting, passive aggressive" which is nowhere to be found coming from me here. It looks like the pattern is that I entertain ideas from other people here, some get upset that I don't act on it (which is dumb of in itself because I'm under no obligation), and when I give my input (because this is a disscution), people get butt hurt and say that I'm angry.

Here's a quote of the last thing you said after I wrote you a few essays relating to your behavior including citing research papers.

craider at no point was I being irrational so there's your empirical example buddy

That's the response of an arrogant pr*ck who needs to get their ego in check in order to take advice, and ultimately, get laid. Go re-read my essays. I wrote them for a reason. You've thrashed around here to the point of the mods implying they may ban you for trolling. Get a grip, dude. Every chick you're dealing with can smell the desperation to be "right", i.e. validated, from a mile away.

 

[craider]

Talk to random people out in public. At the store, in the checkout line, at the gym, etc

This is great advice. If you can, find an old married gentleman who constantly gets young girls (waitresses, bartenders, service people, family, friends) to laugh, relax, talk in fun/excited ways. That guy is flirting for the love of the game and can teach you a lot about being smooth.

 

[Plinco]

Here's a quote of the last thing you said after I wrote you a few essays relating to your behavior including citing research papers.



That's the response of an arrogant pr*ck who needs to get their ego in check in order to take advice, and ultimately, get laid. Go re-read my essays. I wrote them for a reason. You've thrashed around here to the point of the mods implying they may ban you for trolling. Get a grip, dude. Every chick you're dealing with can smell the desperation to be "right", i.e. validated, from a mile away.

Context is everything my man. Here's the full quote

I just came back home after dancing for about an hour. I was dancing okay until the last one had so many steps I just started making stuff up to the rhythm and still tried to look like I knew what I was doing. I talked to a handful of random people and had fun, because I had higher emotional vitality @craider at no point was I being irrational so there's your empirical example buddy.

So another words, I was integrating my mind and body. They are not separate but one.