Feel Free To Criticize My Texting Game

[Plinco]

Plinco I’m seeing this pattern where you go out, dance, approach a hot 20yo, and then she rejects you and/or calls you a creep.

It’s time to try something different. You should stick to women your age. I know you’re not interested in women your age, but that might help your social skills since you’re not interested in them. You can’t communicate for sh*t with younger women because you don’t understand them.

And please for the love of god, stop f*cking dancing. Approach women your age. I have a feeling they’ll understand your boomer humor a lot better.

I can list a number of things that are more important than sex, one of them is self-respect. I see my failings as temporary setbacks, and I have full confidence (based on my past experience) that I will succeed in the long run.

 

[retardedautist2020]

I can list a number of things that are more important than sex, one of them is self-respect. I see my failings as temporary setbacks, and I have full confidence (based on my past experience) that I will succeed in the long run.

Sure but you’re getting blown the f*ck out. You have an ego problem. How long have you been at this? I’ve seen 0 progress.

 

[Plinco]

I'm a bit surprised, but this young woman actually responded

Her "Because I don't know you."

Me "That's a good answer. I was being a bit crass."

Her "If you want to continue talking to me, you need to calm down."

That was about six hour ago. What I want to say is "In all seriousness I do want to have kids though someday."

I think that statement both somewhat justifies my making babies comment and is within my frame.

I've been giving this some thought today and I've been adding to my notes.

 

[BPH]

That was about six hour ago. What I want to say is "In all seriousness I do want to have kids though someday."

I think that statement both somewhat justifies my making babies comment and is within my frame.

I refuse to believe that you honestly think doubling down on that comment, in any capacity, is the correct move...

Plan a damn date and stop having these conversations. Every time you talk, you give yourself more rope to hang yourself with.

This thread is 8 pages long. There's no way you've learned NOTHING so far.

 

[Plinco]

I refuse to believe that you honestly think doubling down on that comment, in any capacity, is the correct move...

Plan a damn date and stop having these conversations. Every time you talk, you give yourself more rope to hang yourself with.

This thread is 8 pages long. There's no way you've learned NOTHING so far.

First of all I doubt she's that interested. Second she's in Miami, not my neck of the woods.

I looked at her response as a sh!t test. My thinking is that maintaining frame is the correct move. I think planning a date at this stage would be disastrous, not that a date is likely to happen anyway.

 

[BPH]

My thinking is that maintaining frame is the correct move.

Your thinking is what's wrong with this entire thread, and why nobody can help you. You think you know better, and yet time and time again, you are showing that you do NOT know better.

I just gave you advice, and you're not gonna take it because you think you're right and I'm wrong.

Stop asking for advice then. You want validation and arguments, not solutions.

 

[Plinco]

Your thinking is what's wrong with this entire thread, and why nobody can help you. You think you know better, and yet time and time again, you are showing that you do NOT know better.

I just gave you advice, and you're not gonna take it because you think you're right and I'm wrong.

Stop asking for advice then. You want validation and arguments, not solutions.

I told you a while ago that if you didn't want to help me, then you don't have to. I was under the impression that you wanted to help.

Your assessment of me wanting validations and arguments, not solutions is not correct. I really am doing the best I can.

I wasn't criticizing you. I posted my thoughts for feedback. I haven't messaged her yet.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Try having fun with it OP instead of overanalyzing. This chick is out of your area anyway. Just shoot her something you find amusing and won't get you banned from that platform, and move on.

(don't literally shoot her though)

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I refuse to believe that you honestly think doubling down on that comment, in any capacity, is the correct move...

Plan a damn date and stop having these conversations. Every time you talk, you give yourself more rope to hang yourself with.

This thread is 8 pages long. There's no way you've learned NOTHING so far.

OP is trying to treat this like some mathematical equation that he needs to solve.

That mindset will never work, I suggest he stops trying to apply this type of logic to human interaction.

 

[Plinco]

OP is trying to treat this like some mathematical equation that he needs to solve.

That mindset will never work, I suggest he stops trying to apply this type of logic to human interaction.

Over analyzing perhaps.

If you're leading the interaction in a direction then there is a bit of applied logic to it. I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn how to be a great communicator, so this is a win-win situation for me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Over analyzing perhaps.

If you're leading the interaction in a direction then there is a bit of applied logic to it. I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn how to be a great communicator, so this is a win-win situation for me.

I would suggest you stop thinking and start listening while talking with women (at least in person).

Becoming a great communicator with women requires you to stop thinking what you are going to say and start listening to what they are telling you because they are giving you endless branching topics of conversation to use with them, but only if you are actually listening to what they are saying to pick up on it.

But the trick is that you actually have to be interested and curious about them and what they are saying. Too many guys are only worried about what they are going to say next and that ends up coming across in interactions subconsciously.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Over analyzing perhaps.

If you're leading the interaction in a direction then there is a bit of applied logic to it. I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn how to be a great communicator, so this is a win-win situation for me.

If you want to get deeply analytical, you may need to elaborate and examine what a great communicator actually is. It’s also worth thinking about how men and women often communicate differently, and how masculine and feminine energies tend to express different qualities in interaction, timing, and escalation. You also need to consider how communication changes depending on the medium you’re using (i.e., body language, verbal, or written) and the location you are in (conference, work, nightclub, grocery store, dating apps). The key is to see words as a tool not for communicating true thoughts and feelings, but for shaping how the other person feels and sees you.

In The 48 Laws of Power, Law 7 refers to “Get others to do the work, take the credit.” The main premise is to use the legwork, research, and wisdom of those who came before you to further your own cause, since it not only saves you valuable time and energy but also allows you to move faster and with greater efficiency. Hence, the advice given here should be understood in that context. That said, if you prefer to do your own thinking and re-invent everything yourself, there’s still enough in the first paragraph to reflect on and build your own conclusions from.

 

[Plinco]

I would suggest you stop thinking and start listening while talking with women (at least in person).

Becoming a great communicator with women requires you to stop thinking what you are going to say and start listening to what they are telling you because they are giving you endless branching topics of conversation to use with them, but only if you are actually listening to what they are saying to pick up on it.

But the trick is that you actually have to be interested and curious about them and what they are saying. Too many guys are only worried about what they are going to say next and that ends up coming across in interactions subconsciously.

I used to work for a small company, and I had a ten minute conversation with the CEO. I told him that I thought I had a lot of potential but I was having all kinds of problems realizing it. He is a millionaire himself, and personally knew millionaires and billionaires. He told me that the most successful people he knew were good communicators, and the first key to being a good communicator was being a good listener.


I'm using what @nicksaiz65 suggested and using Claude AI as a tool to help me with my communication skills. I've been thinking about this carefully for last three days and decided to approach this as a series of exercises, like this one:

Here's how I want to do this: I'll give you a scenario and a neutral, information-only response someone might send. Your job is to rewrite it with some emotional layer added — not dramatic, just honest.


Then I'll push back on what you wrote. Does it feel authentic? Did you over-explain? Did you bury the feeling in qualifiers?


Starting easy:



Scenario: A friend texts you saying they got the job they've been interviewing for over the past month. You knew they were nervous about it.


Neutral version: "That's great news, congratulations."



Rewrite it. Add some emotional texture — whatever feels true to how you'd actually feel in that moment. Don't overthink it, just try something.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I used to work for a small company, and I had a ten minute conversation with the CEO. I told him that I thought I had a lot of potential but I was having all kinds of problems realizing it. He is a millionaire himself, and personally knew millionaires and billionaires. He told me that the most successful people he knew were good communicators, and the first key to being a good communicator was being a good listener.


I'm using what @nicksaiz65 suggested and using Claude AI as a tool to help me with my communication skills. I've been thinking about this carefully for last three days and decided to approach this as a series of exercises, like this one:

You would do far better to go sit and talk with some old people.

Most of them are desperate to talk to others and you would get all the listening practice you need while being able to respond inside a normal conversation.

I'm not exactly sure how asking a robot how to be human is going to help you be better at being human. That just seems very strange to me.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I used to work for a small company, and I had a ten minute conversation with the CEO. I told him that I thought I had a lot of potential but I was having all kinds of problems realizing it. He is a millionaire himself, and personally knew millionaires and billionaires. He told me that the most successful people he knew were good communicators, and the first key to being a good communicator was being a good listener.


I'm using what @nicksaiz65 suggested and using Claude AI as a tool to help me with my communication skills. I've been thinking about this carefully for last three days and decided to approach this as a series of exercises, like this one:

Claude is better for some things than ChatGPT, but yeah, still AI. Best to practice in the real world

 

[retardedautist2020]

He told me that the most successful people he knew were good communicators, and the first key to being a good communicator was being a good listener.

You’re the worst listener I’ve ever met.

 

[Plinco]

Claude is better for some things than ChatGPT, but yeah, still AI. Best to practice in the real world

Agreed.

You’re the worst listener I’ve ever met.

Do you say that because I don't follow the "authority" of other people? In other words, if I don't follow yours, @BPH or @craider suggestions to the letter that I'm a bad listener?

 

[retardedautist2020]

Do you say that because I don't follow the "authority" of other people? In other words, if I don't follow yours, @BPH or @craider suggestions to the letter that I'm a bad listener?

1) No

2) Normal people ask for advice, they accept it, say thank you and apply it.

You asked for advice, we give it, you don’t even say thank you, or “I’ll try that next time” and you get combative because you view it as ”authority”?

 

[Plinco]

This is an excellent tool for understanding people's relationship with reality.

1) No

2) Normal people ask for advice, they accept it, say thank you and apply it.

You asked for advice, we give it, you don’t even say thank you, or “I’ll try that next time” and you get combative because you view it as ”authority”?

I entertain people's advice and keep it in my inventory. I often say some version of "thank you."

Let's take your advice for example:

You should stick to women your age. I know you’re not interested in women your age, but that might help your social skills since you’re not interested in them. You can’t communicate for sh*t with younger women because you don’t understand them.

And please for the love of god, stop f*cking dancing. Approach women your age. I have a feeling they’ll understand your boomer humor a lot better.

I did not ask for this kind of advice. I critically examined it and decided that it was anti-seductive. Why would you get offended that I didn't follow it?

I critically examine people's input because that's part of the discussion, and my own responsibility to do. I followed most of @BPH 's advice when I got around to it. I don't do what he says right away, because, with all due respect, he's not an authority figure. Since it's my personal mess, it's my responsibility to critically examine my own situation. You can see though that he gets upset that I don't follow his advice right away and to the letter. Yes he gets laid, good for him, but that doesn't make him an authority figure. People who believe in authority figures, or seek to be authority figures are in what I call the "proto-consicous" stage due to the lack of integration. That's why you see me emphasizing reason, I'm trying to get people up to par.

I think of myself as possibly the most open minded person on this thread, and if you've seen the rest of my posts, I think you'll conclude that I'm honest, and I"m a pretty decent listener too.

 

[retardedautist2020]

So you only listen to people who, in your mind are “authority figures”?

I shouldn’t be surprised since you’re a borderline boomer. I don’t view BPH as an authority figure, but he gives good advice so I’ll try it out. That’s what advice is. I’m not gonna disregard him because he’s not “authority”. That’s a logical fallacy. Google it. Appeal to authority:

A logical fallacy that occurs when someone asserts that a claim is true solely because an "authority" figure or expert said so, rather than relying on actual evidence, empirical data, or a valid logical framework.