Feel Free To Criticize My Texting Game

[Plinco]

Have at it!

 

[Plinco]

.

 

[BPH]

We've talked about this before, man...

You're going into interview mode, and way too much of this conversation is happening on the app. I have never once in my life asked a girl what her 5-year plan is...

Get her number, plan a date, and have these conversations in person.

 

[Plinco]

We've talked about this before, man...

You're going into interview mode, and way too much of this conversation is happening on the app. I have never once in my life asked a girl what her 5-year plan is...

Get her number, plan a date, and have these conversations in person.

Yeah I know

 

[The Duke]

Obviously you have this chic responding at length so you are effective although I do think those are kind of interview like questions that are best to be asked in person.

At this point, get her number and set something up over the phone/text.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Have at it!

So WHY DID you get the pineapple?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is what you call highly interested. Ask her if she is up for connecting in person, get her number and set up a date.

No need to become an endless messager...none of this matters.

You can build up the best rapport with someone over messages or even the phone, but you know within 30 seconds of meeting them if you are actually interested or not.

Then all of that rapport goes out the window if you aren't.

 

[Plinco]

This is what you call highly interested.

That's what I thought too, in hind sight. When I was typing that up I wasn't feeling needy.

So WHY DID you get the pineapple?

I was invited to go to this office party at the last minute, and I had to do some grocery shopping so the pineapple was a fun idea and a short notice gift.

 

[Clockwerk50]

That's what I thought too, in hind sight. When I was typing that up I wasn't feeling needy.



I was invited to go to this office party at the last minute, and I had to do some grocery shopping so the pineapple was a fun idea and a short notice gift.

Did you ask her out or you really don't feel like meeting with her?

 

[Gamisch]

Yeah nice going.

I just wonder if you had this talk AFTER you fecked her? Or at very least had a date set up.

I remember when I had these kinda interactions, and women would POOF dissappear, leaving me clueless. Now I understand why....it akin to jester maxxxing. Like you trying to prove to her that you are..whatever ,cool or some like that?

Obviously you are a good conversationalist , but you're timing might need some work IF this was prior to actually sleeping with her. I say sleeping,because even if you've just set a date ,this kinda conversation might ruin it all. Tbh this is you shooting the " big guns" and all it does is it kills the curiosity...save this for when you see her, and when you KNOW she wants to duck your sick that same night! Orford pillow talk, even better.

But overall...not too bad..

 

[Plinco]

Did you ask her out or you really don't feel like meeting with her?

No I was going to ask her out after she replied.

Yeah nice going.

I just wonder if you had this talk AFTER you fecked her? Or at very least had a date set up.

I remember when I had these kinda interactions, and women would POOF dissappear, leaving me clueless. Now I understand why....it akin to jester maxxxing. Like you trying to prove to her that you are..whatever ,cool or some like that?

Obviously you are a good conversationalist , but you're timing might need some work IF this was prior to actually sleeping with her. I say sleeping,because even if you've just set a date ,this kinda conversation might ruin it all. Tbh this is you shooting the " big guns" and all it does is it kills the curiosity...save this for when you see her, and when you KNOW she wants to duck your sick that same night! Orford pillow talk, even better.

But overall...not too bad..

I think my communication skills still need some work.

 

[Datinglife26]

Holy wall of text from you both.

My messages are blank direct and down right autistic sounding compared to yours lol

Like I'll make statements instead of questions and then tell them to send their number and let's get off this app.

Last match went like this.

Me: you look like no body ever tells you no and you need to be told no (no emojis)

Her: hmm I don't understand, never heard of that word before what does it mean?

Me: it means when I say send me your number we are getting drinks you only have one option.

Her: haha I love you confidence, are you asking for my number ??

Me: I wasnt asking, send it and let's get off hinge

Her: kiss face + phone number

Now I text her and she never responded after that but at least I didnt spend hours typing with a girl who would flake anyway.

Can't be outcome dependant so I wouldn't change a thing about my approach, the right girl will make it easy.

Oh and I used to text like you OP, they'd always get bored once they had too much info and I was too wordy.

So im not judging, there is success in this method too, nothing is black and white. It's just time consuming

 

[obelisk]

Flip this around and think about how little you've left her to discover about you after sharing all this upfront vs if you have breadcrumbed her more. Knowing your capacity to be a text conversationalist, you should limit yourself to less texts upfront and make her commit to meeting you. You're trying to bait the hook enough that she bites via your texts to actually be motivated to meet you. This is (potentially) causing her to take a bite and reconsider before meeting you in person because you turned it into a conversation merely because there was good rapport.

 

[Bingo-Player]

The problem with swipe apps is that nobody is able to properly judge someone until they meet

So you end up in a situation where you've met a stranger , seen a few pictures of them and then tried to assign a personality and tonality based on a few messages

Men don't tend to put much weight on this because all they care about is wether the chick is hot in her photos

But women put A LOT of weight on it , and with one wrong sentence her entire perception of your personality can shift from " he's a catch " too "He's immature" or He's emotionally unnavailable "

I mean the line about your sister saying you act like a 10 year old was sucide

I know it was supposed to be light hearted but again women are using these messages to scan for red flags and that was a massive one

You're far better off keeping messages consice and to the point , or if you are going to try and display humour / personality keep it short and witty

I've never known huge sprawling messages to work with women in absolutley any context unless you're already in a LTR

 

[BadBoy89]

It seems like you don't want to meet women in person and connect with them, you just want a woman to listen to you / be therapist.

 

[Plinco]

It seems like you don't want to meet women in person and connect with them, you just want a woman to listen to you / be therapist.

Your perceptions alone are not identifying reality. Think about the conversation logically.

 

[Cheeky_James]

What bingo player said basically.

think about this - this kind of back and forth , deep, serious ,interview type chat.. to build ‘connections’..

then you meet each other , and in about 3 mins she decides there is no physical chemistry and no spark. What a waste of time ‘connecting’ on the big deep texting chat hey.

women also scan for ‘interview mode’ comms. Most of them (especially the hot ones) actually find it really boring / draining and are eye rolling on the other side .. or just lose interest and leave the chat.

your objective in the chat -
Comms that you are a smart, sexy guy - and capture her focus and interest , and give her sexy value /emotional spikes of arousal.
that compels her to keep engaging and eventually start pursuing that value , and pursuing you , to soft close YOU to get to the date.


This is the pattern I’ve found works like a charm for me and I’m getting great results now and a rotation going of women.

 

[BadBoy89]

Your perceptions alone are not identifying reality. Think about the conversation logically.

A man doesn't text his life story to a girl he wants to sleep with.

 

[Plinco]

A man doesn't text his life story to a girl he wants to sleep with.

Or, deep down he doesn't care that much

 

[Bokanovsky]

Have at it!

The three main problems with your texts are:

1. Too long
2. Too serious
3. Too non-flirtatious

The point of these initial texts is to a) show that you are a more-or-less normal human being and not some weirdo and b) establish a little bit of rapport that would naturally lead to a date. Exchanging long-winded, serious texts is counterproductive.

A "five year plan" is something that North Korean politburo members talk about at annual meetings of the Workers' Party Congress. It's not something that you discuss with a woman you just matched with on Hinge. Similarly no woman is going to get wet upon learning that you are planning to buy a laundromat. If you told her that you were planning to buy a private jet or a mansion in Palm Beach, or to produce a major Hollywood film, it might be a different. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with owning a laundromat. I know people who own them and it can be a good business. But it's not exactly something that's going to wow a typical North American woman.