"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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ex-girlfriend experiment

Plinco

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Hello folks, I am new here

well, here is a story, I broke up with this girl three years ago, then she starts calling me. We start talking, and somewhere down the line I figured it should be easy to get back with her. I start flirting with her, and then she gives me this LBF thing. I took this for about two days, then I went over to her house I talked to her honestly about our relationship and where I wanted it to go, and said that I would be friends, (but I implied distant, if that was all she wanted), and then left her alone for a while to see if she would call me (hoping that she would realize her feelings for me if she had time to think about it). I did not talk to her for three weeks, and then today I called her I told her that I wanted to talk to her in person. I meet her, gave her this 9/11 truth video (that's what I am into) and then left. An hour later, I had set up a date with her.

Now, in all honesty, I don't think this will work exactly the way I want it to. That is no big deal for me because she is not the only one that I am currently after. It should be noted that she is either really good as reverse psychology, or she does not have good self esteem, because she has tried to dump her problems on me, and she does so in a way that occasionally I fall into that trap without realizing it. I also think she is a little messed up in the head.

At this point, I don't care if I actually do get back with here or not. This whole thing is taking up more time and effort than I think is worth, and like I said before, I have other women I am seeking after as of now.

There is of course more to this than what I have written, but for now this is what I believe is relevant. I'll post more if more information is needed.

But for fun, what could I try? This will be like an experiment for me. I'll try a few things if it suits me. I'll report back on the results.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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kabatura

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It sounds to me like you dont really want to be with her. If you don't, don't try to confuse her so she will get hurt, spend your time on girls you actually like.
 

jdon23

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Leave the past in the past. If anything, if you run into her show her that you don't need her at all and have moved on. This will IMMEDIATELY increase her attraction for you. But there's no point because you sound like she isn't even worth the effort.
 

kdnash82

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She's an ex for a reason. Focus your energy on something else that could turn out to be positive instead of another negative.
 

Plinco

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To clarify, I do want to be with her, but I am not going to be dumb about it either. She is an awesome person, and I really think we have long term potential. It was a matter of fate that it did not work out the first time. I do care about her, but I personally do not think I will actually succeed.

So you guys are saying that I should not try anyway?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Plinco

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Okay, so I suppose this means that the verdict stands. I guess this means I'll invite her parent there as well, and then maybe we will talk about the economy or something. This will hurt me emotionally though.
 
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