Ringleader41
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2011
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Do yall even deal with this or not
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
Uh, so what?Ringleader41 said:They arent, but theyre already hooking up with another guy or other guys when I meet them.
Ya so its my dumb luck playing against mefloydb25 said:Very common. I think it also depends on who youre going after. Some girls are into relationships: others arent. Typically the hot / flashy / revealing ones arent. Theyre always jumping around, and seem to be hooked on another guy every week. Just the way it works. Youre probably going after the single-minded, always taken, in-demand, player-types. Their value is high because theyre always dating or hooked on someone, so everyone wants them all to themselves. Too bad it doesnt work, as they know their value, and exploit it fully. They are never not with, trying to get, or thinking about another guy. And another. And another. Even if they hook up with you - its usually not for long.
For these types, you definitely play the numbers, put no expectations in, dont take rejection personally (even if theyre rude, stuck up, have high standards, etc), dont take them seriously, and all of that stuff.
Youre going to run into this a lot if youre into the single gig yourself. Just gotta keep chugging along, and accept that its the nature of the game.
floydb25 said:Very common. I think it also depends on who youre going after. Some girls are into relationships: others arent. Typically the hot / flashy / revealing ones arent. Theyre always jumping around, and seem to be hooked on another guy every week. Just the way it works. Youre probably going after the single-minded, always taken, in-demand, player-types. Their value is high because theyre always dating or hooked on someone, so everyone wants them all to themselves. Too bad it doesnt work, as they know their value, and exploit it fully. They are never not with, trying to get, or thinking about another guy. And another. And another. Even if they hook up with you - its usually not for long.
For these types, you definitely play the numbers, put no expectations in, dont take rejection personally (even if theyre rude, stuck up, have high standards, etc), dont take them seriously, and all of that stuff.
Youre going to run into this a lot if youre into the single gig yourself. Just gotta keep chugging along, and accept that its the nature of the game.
The problem is I can get a ONS with them but when I try to get more I cant because of that one guy.Brighty said:Solid advice, and if this is that type of girl then I hope OP takes it to heart, but at the same time who's to say that she's that specific kind of girl?
What if she's just a normal single girl in college acting like a normal college kid is prone to do? It doesn't sound like she's going around whoring it up, it just sounds like she's with this one guy just to hook up. Contrary to what a lot of people might say otherwise on this board, there's nothing wrong with that.
All I really have to go off of here is that she's hooking up with another guy and that she's not dating anyone. She's not dating anyone. I'm going to assume you're in college or something, and hooking up with someone is completely different than dating. Stop telling yourself you have dumb luck, nothing's even happened yet. Go for it man, give it a shot. If you like this girl you owe it to yourself. What's holding you back?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I hit the post limit on my main account (how long has there been a limit to only 10 posts a day?), but I want to do my part to help out here before I leave for work. But you have to be more specific man, we can't help you if you're being so tight-lipped and vague about the details behind all this. Everyone's been through the **** at some point, we can all relate to this kind of stuff, we've all been there.Ringleader41 said:The problem is I can get a ONS with them but when I try to get more I cant because of that one guy.
Ringleader41 said:I dont really want a relationship. I want a f-buddy. Ill just use a recent example. Hooked up with girl twice, she seemed like she was a potential camdidate. Wrong because apparently theres like a guy or other giys above me. I see all my friends getting f-buddies and they dont act smooth at all and plus im better looking than them.
Ringleader41 said:Id take a relationship but if i go for relationship wont i fail. Its impossible for me to get one lol .
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.