Ringleader41
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2011
- Messages
- 326
- Reaction score
- 2
Do yall even deal with this or not
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Uh, so what?Ringleader41 said:They arent, but theyre already hooking up with another guy or other guys when I meet them.
Ya so its my dumb luck playing against mefloydb25 said:Very common. I think it also depends on who youre going after. Some girls are into relationships: others arent. Typically the hot / flashy / revealing ones arent. Theyre always jumping around, and seem to be hooked on another guy every week. Just the way it works. Youre probably going after the single-minded, always taken, in-demand, player-types. Their value is high because theyre always dating or hooked on someone, so everyone wants them all to themselves. Too bad it doesnt work, as they know their value, and exploit it fully. They are never not with, trying to get, or thinking about another guy. And another. And another. Even if they hook up with you - its usually not for long.
For these types, you definitely play the numbers, put no expectations in, dont take rejection personally (even if theyre rude, stuck up, have high standards, etc), dont take them seriously, and all of that stuff.
Youre going to run into this a lot if youre into the single gig yourself. Just gotta keep chugging along, and accept that its the nature of the game.
floydb25 said:Very common. I think it also depends on who youre going after. Some girls are into relationships: others arent. Typically the hot / flashy / revealing ones arent. Theyre always jumping around, and seem to be hooked on another guy every week. Just the way it works. Youre probably going after the single-minded, always taken, in-demand, player-types. Their value is high because theyre always dating or hooked on someone, so everyone wants them all to themselves. Too bad it doesnt work, as they know their value, and exploit it fully. They are never not with, trying to get, or thinking about another guy. And another. And another. Even if they hook up with you - its usually not for long.
For these types, you definitely play the numbers, put no expectations in, dont take rejection personally (even if theyre rude, stuck up, have high standards, etc), dont take them seriously, and all of that stuff.
Youre going to run into this a lot if youre into the single gig yourself. Just gotta keep chugging along, and accept that its the nature of the game.
The problem is I can get a ONS with them but when I try to get more I cant because of that one guy.Brighty said:Solid advice, and if this is that type of girl then I hope OP takes it to heart, but at the same time who's to say that she's that specific kind of girl?
What if she's just a normal single girl in college acting like a normal college kid is prone to do? It doesn't sound like she's going around whoring it up, it just sounds like she's with this one guy just to hook up. Contrary to what a lot of people might say otherwise on this board, there's nothing wrong with that.
All I really have to go off of here is that she's hooking up with another guy and that she's not dating anyone. She's not dating anyone. I'm going to assume you're in college or something, and hooking up with someone is completely different than dating. Stop telling yourself you have dumb luck, nothing's even happened yet. Go for it man, give it a shot. If you like this girl you owe it to yourself. What's holding you back?
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I hit the post limit on my main account (how long has there been a limit to only 10 posts a day?), but I want to do my part to help out here before I leave for work. But you have to be more specific man, we can't help you if you're being so tight-lipped and vague about the details behind all this. Everyone's been through the **** at some point, we can all relate to this kind of stuff, we've all been there.Ringleader41 said:The problem is I can get a ONS with them but when I try to get more I cant because of that one guy.
Ringleader41 said:I dont really want a relationship. I want a f-buddy. Ill just use a recent example. Hooked up with girl twice, she seemed like she was a potential camdidate. Wrong because apparently theres like a guy or other giys above me. I see all my friends getting f-buddies and they dont act smooth at all and plus im better looking than them.
Ringleader41 said:Id take a relationship but if i go for relationship wont i fail. Its impossible for me to get one lol .
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.