Ringleader41
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2011
- Messages
- 326
- Reaction score
- 2
Do yall even deal with this or not
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Uh, so what?Ringleader41 said:They arent, but theyre already hooking up with another guy or other guys when I meet them.
Ya so its my dumb luck playing against mefloydb25 said:Very common. I think it also depends on who youre going after. Some girls are into relationships: others arent. Typically the hot / flashy / revealing ones arent. Theyre always jumping around, and seem to be hooked on another guy every week. Just the way it works. Youre probably going after the single-minded, always taken, in-demand, player-types. Their value is high because theyre always dating or hooked on someone, so everyone wants them all to themselves. Too bad it doesnt work, as they know their value, and exploit it fully. They are never not with, trying to get, or thinking about another guy. And another. And another. Even if they hook up with you - its usually not for long.
For these types, you definitely play the numbers, put no expectations in, dont take rejection personally (even if theyre rude, stuck up, have high standards, etc), dont take them seriously, and all of that stuff.
Youre going to run into this a lot if youre into the single gig yourself. Just gotta keep chugging along, and accept that its the nature of the game.
floydb25 said:Very common. I think it also depends on who youre going after. Some girls are into relationships: others arent. Typically the hot / flashy / revealing ones arent. Theyre always jumping around, and seem to be hooked on another guy every week. Just the way it works. Youre probably going after the single-minded, always taken, in-demand, player-types. Their value is high because theyre always dating or hooked on someone, so everyone wants them all to themselves. Too bad it doesnt work, as they know their value, and exploit it fully. They are never not with, trying to get, or thinking about another guy. And another. And another. Even if they hook up with you - its usually not for long.
For these types, you definitely play the numbers, put no expectations in, dont take rejection personally (even if theyre rude, stuck up, have high standards, etc), dont take them seriously, and all of that stuff.
Youre going to run into this a lot if youre into the single gig yourself. Just gotta keep chugging along, and accept that its the nature of the game.
The problem is I can get a ONS with them but when I try to get more I cant because of that one guy.Brighty said:Solid advice, and if this is that type of girl then I hope OP takes it to heart, but at the same time who's to say that she's that specific kind of girl?
What if she's just a normal single girl in college acting like a normal college kid is prone to do? It doesn't sound like she's going around whoring it up, it just sounds like she's with this one guy just to hook up. Contrary to what a lot of people might say otherwise on this board, there's nothing wrong with that.
All I really have to go off of here is that she's hooking up with another guy and that she's not dating anyone. She's not dating anyone. I'm going to assume you're in college or something, and hooking up with someone is completely different than dating. Stop telling yourself you have dumb luck, nothing's even happened yet. Go for it man, give it a shot. If you like this girl you owe it to yourself. What's holding you back?
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I hit the post limit on my main account (how long has there been a limit to only 10 posts a day?), but I want to do my part to help out here before I leave for work. But you have to be more specific man, we can't help you if you're being so tight-lipped and vague about the details behind all this. Everyone's been through the **** at some point, we can all relate to this kind of stuff, we've all been there.Ringleader41 said:The problem is I can get a ONS with them but when I try to get more I cant because of that one guy.
Ringleader41 said:I dont really want a relationship. I want a f-buddy. Ill just use a recent example. Hooked up with girl twice, she seemed like she was a potential camdidate. Wrong because apparently theres like a guy or other giys above me. I see all my friends getting f-buddies and they dont act smooth at all and plus im better looking than them.
Ringleader41 said:Id take a relationship but if i go for relationship wont i fail. Its impossible for me to get one lol .
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.