You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Well, wait until you find a girl that you **** who you ARE interested in a relationship with.dajinn said:I spin enough plates, man. I'm just not interested in relationships with anyone that I ever ****.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
She's got A LOT of BAGGAGE. You have not even scratched the surface. Low self-esteem to start with. All this talking in riddle stuff? A healthy mature 52 year-old woman is gonna get straight to the point even if she does have HSV. Even if you got in a relationship, she knows it will end eventually, and probably not well.dajinn said:I just want to know, what you guys think about the overall situation she seems to be playing here, what she could be getting at, how you think this would end up for me, and if you guys think that pursuing this makes me irresponsible, if its harmful to my health, or if it just is plain wrong. I really like this woman and could see myself with her. But I like to give things careful consideration before moving forward.
Trollsigma335 said:OP you've got some major issues with your self if you are even considering anything aside from friendship with this woman, for serious.
WTF?I am 22(23 in October)and she is...well, she is 52. But she doesn't look a day over 22.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Nice attempt to control the frame to make sure people only tell you what you want to hear!dajinn said:I need some very mature and very open minded advice. Stigmas and prejudices probably don't need to apply in here.
So I started a job about two months ago and met a very lovely co-worker...(please don't advise me on the don't **** where you eat either
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
This is exactly the kind of advice I was hoping for and the best advice ill be taking away from it. Thank you.Stagger Lee said:She played hard to get, lead and strung you along, and that's how she got you to catch feelings. This is the oldest tactic in the book for a woman to snag a man, one that a lot of younger girls don't seem to know how or want to use. But in this case, she wasn't really trying to snag you for a LTR because she really wants one with you, someone way too young for such an old woman. She just wants to see if she could do it. I honestly think the old woman is playing you and using you for her ego and to feel better about her insecurities.
Had she went for the sex with you, then you would've been over her probably after the first night. She know this. I can't imagine sex with a post-menopausal woman could be very good. Certainly not as good as a woman in her 20's. the herpes thing makes it case closed because there's no way to protect yourself from it except avoiding sex with a known carrier. Condoms really should come with an extra piece to first cover the area around the penis to block herpes, but I digress.
You should realize the value of still being young and not date anyone over 30. You'll have plenty of time when you're older to date old women.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.