You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Well, wait until you find a girl that you **** who you ARE interested in a relationship with.dajinn said:I spin enough plates, man. I'm just not interested in relationships with anyone that I ever ****.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
She's got A LOT of BAGGAGE. You have not even scratched the surface. Low self-esteem to start with. All this talking in riddle stuff? A healthy mature 52 year-old woman is gonna get straight to the point even if she does have HSV. Even if you got in a relationship, she knows it will end eventually, and probably not well.dajinn said:I just want to know, what you guys think about the overall situation she seems to be playing here, what she could be getting at, how you think this would end up for me, and if you guys think that pursuing this makes me irresponsible, if its harmful to my health, or if it just is plain wrong. I really like this woman and could see myself with her. But I like to give things careful consideration before moving forward.
Trollsigma335 said:OP you've got some major issues with your self if you are even considering anything aside from friendship with this woman, for serious.
WTF?I am 22(23 in October)and she is...well, she is 52. But she doesn't look a day over 22.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Nice attempt to control the frame to make sure people only tell you what you want to hear!dajinn said:I need some very mature and very open minded advice. Stigmas and prejudices probably don't need to apply in here.
So I started a job about two months ago and met a very lovely co-worker...(please don't advise me on the don't **** where you eat either
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
This is exactly the kind of advice I was hoping for and the best advice ill be taking away from it. Thank you.Stagger Lee said:She played hard to get, lead and strung you along, and that's how she got you to catch feelings. This is the oldest tactic in the book for a woman to snag a man, one that a lot of younger girls don't seem to know how or want to use. But in this case, she wasn't really trying to snag you for a LTR because she really wants one with you, someone way too young for such an old woman. She just wants to see if she could do it. I honestly think the old woman is playing you and using you for her ego and to feel better about her insecurities.
Had she went for the sex with you, then you would've been over her probably after the first night. She know this. I can't imagine sex with a post-menopausal woman could be very good. Certainly not as good as a woman in her 20's. the herpes thing makes it case closed because there's no way to protect yourself from it except avoiding sex with a known carrier. Condoms really should come with an extra piece to first cover the area around the penis to block herpes, but I digress.
You should realize the value of still being young and not date anyone over 30. You'll have plenty of time when you're older to date old women.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.