When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Well, wait until you find a girl that you **** who you ARE interested in a relationship with.dajinn said:I spin enough plates, man. I'm just not interested in relationships with anyone that I ever ****.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
She's got A LOT of BAGGAGE. You have not even scratched the surface. Low self-esteem to start with. All this talking in riddle stuff? A healthy mature 52 year-old woman is gonna get straight to the point even if she does have HSV. Even if you got in a relationship, she knows it will end eventually, and probably not well.dajinn said:I just want to know, what you guys think about the overall situation she seems to be playing here, what she could be getting at, how you think this would end up for me, and if you guys think that pursuing this makes me irresponsible, if its harmful to my health, or if it just is plain wrong. I really like this woman and could see myself with her. But I like to give things careful consideration before moving forward.
Trollsigma335 said:OP you've got some major issues with your self if you are even considering anything aside from friendship with this woman, for serious.
WTF?I am 22(23 in October)and she is...well, she is 52. But she doesn't look a day over 22.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Nice attempt to control the frame to make sure people only tell you what you want to hear!dajinn said:I need some very mature and very open minded advice. Stigmas and prejudices probably don't need to apply in here.
So I started a job about two months ago and met a very lovely co-worker...(please don't advise me on the don't **** where you eat either
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
This is exactly the kind of advice I was hoping for and the best advice ill be taking away from it. Thank you.Stagger Lee said:She played hard to get, lead and strung you along, and that's how she got you to catch feelings. This is the oldest tactic in the book for a woman to snag a man, one that a lot of younger girls don't seem to know how or want to use. But in this case, she wasn't really trying to snag you for a LTR because she really wants one with you, someone way too young for such an old woman. She just wants to see if she could do it. I honestly think the old woman is playing you and using you for her ego and to feel better about her insecurities.
Had she went for the sex with you, then you would've been over her probably after the first night. She know this. I can't imagine sex with a post-menopausal woman could be very good. Certainly not as good as a woman in her 20's. the herpes thing makes it case closed because there's no way to protect yourself from it except avoiding sex with a known carrier. Condoms really should come with an extra piece to first cover the area around the penis to block herpes, but I digress.
You should realize the value of still being young and not date anyone over 30. You'll have plenty of time when you're older to date old women.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.