MatureDJ
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I was reading the comments for one of Aaron Clarey's books, and one got me interested:
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Do you think the typical fat chick is a "fixer upper"?
- Thread starter MatureDJ
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
MatureDJ
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SW15
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That's an interesting way to think of it, but the answer to your question is no.
It would be best for an overweight woman to lose weight and get to a BMI under 25. Once her BMI is under 25, she can focus more on dating.
Men are told to self-improve all the time in order to get laid and get girlfriends. There are women that would be well served by taking time away from dating and self improving.
Men must become, whereas women are. Men have the burden of proof.
The main motivator for an overweight woman to lose weight in terms of dating would be to get higher quality prospects and increase the chances she can get a committed relationship from a better option.
It would be best for an overweight woman to lose weight and get to a BMI under 25. Once her BMI is under 25, she can focus more on dating.
Men are told to self-improve all the time in order to get laid and get girlfriends. There are women that would be well served by taking time away from dating and self improving.
Men must become, whereas women are. Men have the burden of proof.
The main motivator for an overweight woman to lose weight in terms of dating would be to get higher quality prospects and increase the chances she can get a committed relationship from a better option.
Bokanovsky
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No! Most fat chicks remain fat for life. And even if they manage to lose weight, they are likely to relapse after they hubby up.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
MatureDJ
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EyeBRollin
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Don’t do it. She can lose 10-20 lbs but that’s the most you can expect. Women are fat because they want to be fat.
pipeman84
Master Don Juan
I think you guys are being too hard on fat chicks ... the nutrition world is a mess, there are obese doctors, there are vegan doctors/nutritionists (which is as ridiculous as a physicist being a flat earther). But you expect a 22yrs old girl who has been slowly gaining weight since she hit puberty despite following the standard BS advice of ''everything in moderation, eat less move more, 5 small meals etc'' to be an expert on nutrition? 
So I personally wouldn't disqualify a prospect just because she's overweight... I'd first have to find out how she got like that (for instance if she's fat because she binges on alcohol and take aways on nights out, that behavior is a deal-breaker, not her weight). But if she got fat because all around her are like that and she didn't have a good example and whatever she read sounded either unsustainable long term or contradictory, that's totally different. If then she's receptive to advice and quick to implement it, problem solved.
So I personally wouldn't disqualify a prospect just because she's overweight... I'd first have to find out how she got like that (for instance if she's fat because she binges on alcohol and take aways on nights out, that behavior is a deal-breaker, not her weight). But if she got fat because all around her are like that and she didn't have a good example and whatever she read sounded either unsustainable long term or contradictory, that's totally different. If then she's receptive to advice and quick to implement it, problem solved.
SargeMaximus
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Women don’t have any self control regardless
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
MatureDJ
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Yes, there is a shortage.
HaleyBaron
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Yawn. For every fat girl that loses weight, there's 10,000 more who refuse to do it cause it's hard and they're still getting attention from other men. Even if it is men they will not ****, women are slaves to attention. "My ass is fat and I have big tits so I can keep being overweight."
Gamisch
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Do you think that such a prospect would stay loyal to you once she reached YOUR idealistic image of her?
You must create the surplus. Fatties are only good to kill a LONG dryspell. But you'll know it's not your proudest feck ever.. but you do have a point probably. That's why these women have no incentive to improve. 1 night of swiping and she has a new line up of thirsty, desperate candidates.Yes, there is a shortage.
I MUCH rather have a fit older woman than a fat younger one.
BackInTheGame78
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Honestly that's about what that dude should expect to get...no idea why a woman looking like that was with him in HS
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
RazorRambo24
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For me its not even about whether i can fix her up or not.. I simply am not attracted to women who are below a certain threshold of beauty. It would prob hurt her for months or however long it takes till she loses the weight and starts lookin attractive.. btu even then shes gotta have real nice features n sht.
Then again, I also take good care of myself and make sure i look top notch as well. When I was a bit younger, I legit could not leave the house till my hair and outfit was perfect.. I know that sounds kinda feminine.. but you dont get to live al lifestyle like mine without being somewhat of a meticulous person when it comes to self care and appreciating ones self through looking good all the time. I cultivated this through years of routine.
Then again, I also take good care of myself and make sure i look top notch as well. When I was a bit younger, I legit could not leave the house till my hair and outfit was perfect.. I know that sounds kinda feminine.. but you dont get to live al lifestyle like mine without being somewhat of a meticulous person when it comes to self care and appreciating ones self through looking good all the time. I cultivated this through years of routine.
Pun intented
Better to start with a thin girl that already takes care of herself. You don’t need or want any projects.
Those transitions are a shame. Most will never recover from that size. If they do, they will have excess fab and most likely some mental health baggage