Did I freak my secretary out?

[bat soup]

She mentioned it herself. She said I want to go to the restaurant we went to 2 months ago. We went to my administrator and went for dinner. We had so much fun and she said that she wanted to go again with me. Its corona now.. it’s closed.

She probably wanted a free meal. That's what she got, whilst you got nothing.

Plus, restaurants are a terrible place to take a woman. She's extracting resources from you whilst you're safely on the other side of a big table where you can't touch her. Impossible for you to make a move and find out whether you're wasting your time.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Women are always capable of playing games, it's their nature. It would be like saying a spider isn't capable of spinning a web. They don't need anyone to teach them how, they just know how instinctively.

It's like the story of the frog and the scorpion...

There is a scorpion on the bank of a big river and it needs to cross. He sees a frog and asks him if he will take him to the other side.

The frog says "No way! You will sting me and I will die!"

The scorpion says "Why would I do that? If I do that we will both die!"

The frog thinks about it for a few minutes and says "You are right...it doesn't make any sense. Why would you do something that will kill us both?" He then agrees to take him across the river on his back.

Halfway through the frog feels a sharp pain on his back. He says to the scorpion "You fool! Why would you do that? Now we both will surely die!"

The scorpion looks at him and shrugs and says "I could not help it! It is in my nature!"

And that is how you must view women and playing games...they can't help it, it is in their nature...

Don't give them the ride so they can't fvck you over.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I think you should recognize this situation is about your ego getting out of control and attempting to screw you over. You do realize you cannot always give the ego what it wants? It'll ruin you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Don't give them the ride so they can't fvck you over.

Easier said than done when involved with a woman you care about.

 

[TheGambino]

She probably wanted a free meal. That's what she got, whilst you got nothing.

Plus, restaurants are a terrible place to take a woman. She's extracting resources from you whilst you're safely on the other side of a big table where you can't touch her. Impossible for you to make a move and find out whether you're wasting your time.

Free meal... ye that’s why she offered to pay for the food last time. She insisted on paying half and did... couldn’t talk her into me paying.

Yet again I know ofc that fvcking her or attempting is anyway a bad idea. Maybe only a good idea if I think about going “exclusive”.

I’ll give it time, go professional and see what she does... end of it.

 

[Stoic]

Free meal... ye that’s why she offered to pay for the food last time. She insisted on paying half and did... couldn’t talk her into me paying.

Yet again I know ofc that fvcking her or attempting is anyway a bad idea. Maybe only a good idea if I think about going “exclusive”.

I’ll give it time, go professional and see what she does... end of it.

Jesus man..exclusive?

You are entering banned posters Big Dave and Big goals levels of hard headedness.

 

[Glassguy]

Plus, restaurants are a terrible place to take a woman.

I like inviting a chick for a drink to a restaurant, dive bar, pizza pub, etc if I dont know her in real life. Say someone that I started messaging on FB with lots of mutual friends. Its a good place to have some convo and see if we vibe. In this situation a woman of any value isnt just going to come over to your place for drinks for a plethora of reasons.

HOWEVER.........

If it is someone that I know very well in real life, as OP knows this chick, I would NEVER go to a restaurant. It would only be my place for drinks. Major reason why- disinterested women would say "well I dont know you well enough to come straight to your place". This chick OP is referring to cannot use that. She either comes over or she doesnt. Its cut and dry.

I like to determine interest level very early on. Many guys dont like doing this because it will be early rejection if the chick isnt into you. Thats fine, I would rather not waste any time on someone who's interest is lower than agreeing to meet for drinks.

In my past employment I was a consultant for a huge company based in NYC. I smashed a few chicks during that time before I went on my own in the business ownership world. At no point did I ever take them out for drinks. It was my place only........having said that, I will say that I would never entertain the thought of trying to screw a coworker because there are too many risks involved in today's world, and too many chicks that are attractive and have value outside of work places.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Easier said than done when involved with a woman you care about.

All women aren't a scorpion. You must identify her core personality first. Thusly i don't agree ALL are the same, even though some women may meekly and weakly go along with a group think even if they don't agree on most of it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I like inviting a chick for a drink to a restaurant, dive bar, pizza pub, etc if I dont know her in real life. Say someone that I started messaging on FB with lots of mutual friends. Its a good place to have some convo and see if we vibe. In this situation a woman of any value isnt just going to come over to your place for drinks for a plethora of reasons.

HOWEVER.........

If it is someone that I know very well in real life, as OP knows this chick, I would NEVER go to a restaurant. It would only be my place for drinks. Major reason why- disinterested women would say "well I dont know you well enough to come straight to your place". This chick OP is referring to cannot use that. She either comes over or she doesnt. Its cut and dry.

I like to determine interest level very early on. Many guys dont like doing this because it will be early rejection if the chick isnt into you. Thats fine, I would rather not waste any time on someone who's interest is lower than agreeing to meet for drinks.

In my past employment I was a consultant for a huge company based in NYC. I smashed a few chicks during that time before I went on my own in the business ownership world. At no point did I ever take them out for drinks. It was my place only........having said that, I will say that I would never entertain the thought of trying to screw a coworker because there are too many risks involved in today's world, and too many chicks that are attractive and have value outside of work places.

Without makeup?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Jesus man..exclusive?

You are entering banned posters Big Dave and Big goals levels of hard headedness.

This is becoming very sad to see...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Easier said than done when involved with a woman you care about.

If she don't care about you, you better figure it out...

 

[Igetit!]

Maybe only a good idea if I think about going “exclusive”.

Going exclusive....? What da hell???

Dude..........You're making Big Dave start to look sane now.

You need help,man. Like,SERIOUSLY.

 

[Alvafe]

Free meal... ye that’s why she offered to pay for the food last time. She insisted on paying half and did... couldn’t talk her into me paying.

Yet again I know ofc that fvcking her or attempting is anyway a bad idea. Maybe only a good idea if I think about going “exclusive”.

I’ll give it time, go professional and see what she does... end of it.

dude just stop most vets, sopme I don't see posting for a long time is telling you, you are going incredible wrong here, take a deep breath, distance yourself, and stop thinking with your emotions, that is not even your **** talking since the last ego boosting topic you cursed everyone for calling on your sh!t, said you can do better, then please prove it, not for, we don't care, we offer help when asked, do it for yourself, and please help us to help you

 

[TheGambino]

Okay, this sounds all shocking and stupid for many veteran members here. Yes, I understand the risk, yes it ain't a good idea, I know all this.

Ofcourse she knows I like her and yes I also know she had/has some interest.

But the damage is not done yet. I never showed weakness, never acted jealous, never asked about her ex. Never reacted emotional, always a masculine frame. No whining, or b1tching, always very dominant, nice and with energy focussed on work around her. Always professional, only making jokes sometimes and some cexual jokes last week like I said. No big damage. I didn't ask her out 1 on 1, I didn't give her advice on her bf who cheated on her, I didn't show any weak signals or made it clear with words that I like her. We only flirted, vibed, and that's it. Like I said, she is the one who asked me every single day what I was up too that night and if I was cooking for myself. Just to fish what I was planning and if theres a girl. We had drinks once after work but when she got a few drinks in her system and started to tell about her ex that came back in her life I ended the evening and left. She knows I'm kind of interested but I also told her I date chicks, she knows I spin plates, she knows a girl is interested is trying to lock me down and im uncertain of that.

You guys know how I really feel about her, but she doesn't that's the main thing now. She feels that I am uncertain of her wheter I want to fvck her, I also show her mixed signals. She is probably hella confused also. She does not know how I feel, I remained hard masculine with no emotions around her, ever, period. That's the main thing, so I can easily eject and go back to 100% professional without any damage.

I will follow up, she is probably coming back to work saturday if she feels good with no complaints. She called that her other friend that was also on the ''party'' tested today and if he has corona she will test too. Whatever, if she comes to work or not.

I decease. I go professional, I leave it like it is and focus on everything but her. I do my best, I did not do any big damage. I only went renting on here, clueless if I should go for the kill and ask her out to my crib or be smart and try to leave it.

 

[Billtx49]

clueless if I should go for the kill and ask her out to my crib or be smart and try to leave it.

Yes, 96 posts accurately summarized there…
Men of decision take action without waffling…

 

[Lookatu]

 

[Billtx49]

Locked down to end further replies per OP request.