Dating in your 40's...the women are bat s crazy

[catsmeow]

I use that tag line in humor to acknowledge the fact that I’m old enough to be the parent of many men here. That and the ribbing I sometimes get for being in my 50s, like geez I must be utterly out of touch and couldn’t possibly be attractive or fit or hot etc. And I get it. When I was 22 I thought 50 something was old. So it’s a tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement of my age.

I have always taken it as tongue-in-cheek @BeExcellent , and lol at the bolded; many if not most of the guys here believe 30 is old! Broken, damaged, unfit to be in a relationship, unworthy, unattractive, useless, over the hill, post-wall skanks.

Which is so hilarious, they should move to my neck of the woods! Where 30+, 40+ women are highly sought after by high status men as they know how to take of themselves, are physically fit, healthy, good skin, good attitudes and "feminine" (cause I know how you guys love using that word when describing desirable women) whereas the 20 somethings are so skin damaged from laying out in the sun too long, and out of shape cuz they don't think they need to work out, they look like old ladies not to mention possess the worst piss-poor entitled attitudes I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing.

I am being 100% serious too, that's how it is here, and have heard many men complain about it as well.

But to each his own, our opinions are relative to our experience, so carry on guys, I just find it humorous.

 

[BeExcellent]

Agreed @catsmeow truly. My locale is the same. Gives me a chuckle. Last night a 35 year old businessman was hitting on me. Laughable in my mind, but true.

Life is quite amusing. Truly.

 

[catsmeow]

Agreed @catsmeow truly. My locale is the same. Gives me a chuckle. Last night a 35 year old businessman was hitting on me. Laughable in my mind, but true.

Life is quite amusing. Truly.

I believe it! I don't like to toot my own horn but my boyfriend's ex is 25 and from the first day we met, he said that I (gasp in my 30s) put women in their 20s to shame! Face, skin, body, all of it.

I eventually saw her pic and I then understood why he thought that, wow. Very pretty but at 25 she seriously looked at least 5-10 years older than me.

One of my aunties (my late dad's sister) is 75 and not a wrinkle on her face, swear to God, her skin looks to be as soft as a baby's bottom! Eastern European genes.

Anyway, I realize this is a bit of a rant and you've all had your own experiences which I respect, but I wish you'd judge every woman separately, that's all.

Sure there a plenty of 20 something chicks who are extremely hot and fertile, but many are not, and there are 30s 40s, 50s and even 60s women who are also extremely hot, okay not as fertile as when she was in 20s (or at all anymore) and if that's what you judge a woman's hotness or value on, how fertile she is, then fair enough and I wish you luck.

But for the rest of society, try to not place women in arbitrary boxes based on age.

It's an unfair bias imho.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Agreed @catsmeow truly. My locale is the same. Gives me a chuckle. Last night a 35 year old businessman was hitting on me. Laughable in my mind, but true.

Why would a 35 year old businessman hitting on you be laughable? A lot of men hit on women they want to have sex with especially those that think they have a chance with. To be honest, most men are not stupid. There's a good chance he's been successful with similar woman and that is why he's hitting on you.

I have always taken it as tongue-in-cheek @BeExcellent , and lol at the bolded; many if not most of the guys here believe 30 is old! Broken, damaged, unfit to be in a relationship, unworthy, unattractive, useless, over the hill, post-wall skanks.

Which is so hilarious, they should move to my neck of the woods! Where 30+, 40+ women are highly sought after by high status men as they know how to take of themselves, are physically fit, healthy, good skin, good attitudes and "feminine" (cause I know how you guys love using that word when describing desirable women) whereas the 20 somethings are so skin damaged from laying out in the sun too long, and out of shape cuz they don't think they need to work out, they look like old ladies not to mention possess the worst piss-poor entitled attitudes I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing.

I am being 100% serious too, that's how it is here, and have heard many men complain about it as well.

But to each his own, our opinions are relative to our experience, so carry on guys, I just find it humorous.

So I guess these men don't want to have kids. To each his own, but there sure are a lot of older woman complaining they can't find a man (or any man). Perhaps they just have high standards and not just feminine enough. Who knows.

 

[catsmeow]

So I guess these men don't want to have kids.

Serious question but do the men who post here on SS want kids? Some do, some are already married with kids, but many of the guys here do not, they're spinning plates, don't give a fvck (had a brief convo today with one such man) but yet still deem 30+ women as post wall, over the hill, worthless, useless.

Trying not to judge, they're entitled to feel however they feel, just saying, the wanting kids excuse is BS.

Again imho.

 

[SW15]

My locale is the same. Gives me a chuckle. Last night a 35 year old businessman was hitting on me. Laughable in my mind, but true.

Men in your area are quite thirsty and many are low value. There's also a decent amount of cougar hunting there.

Why would a 35 year old businessman hitting on you be laughable? A lot of men hit on women they want to have sex with especially those that think they have a chance with. To be honest, most men are not stupid. There's a good chance he's been successful with similar woman and that is why he's hitting on you.

Good chance he's thirsty and has been striking out with 25-35 year old women.

many if not most of the guys here believe 30 is old! Broken, damaged, unfit to be in a relationship, unworthy, unattractive, useless, over the hill, post-wall skanks.

Which is so hilarious, they should move to my neck of the woods! Where 30+, 40+ women are highly sought after by high status men as they know how to take of themselves, are physically fit, healthy, good skin, good attitudes and "feminine" (cause I know how you guys love using that word when describing desirable women)

I have found women in their 30s and 40s physically attractive in many cases. I've had shorter to medium term relationships over time. I don't mind dating a woman close to my age (late 30s) if she's childless and well preserved. I am not interested in older women and haven't been for at least a decade.

the ribbing I sometimes get for being in my 50s, like geez I must be utterly out of touch and couldn’t possibly be attractive or fit or hot etc. And I get it. When I was 22 I thought 50 something was old. So it’s a tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement of my age. My son will be 20 this summer and my daughters are now teens, and so I pay attention to the interactions going on in the very young dating pool.

And of course I have my own experience in the dating world as well as having been in the nightlife business, which is essentially a laboratory of the dynamics of human mating behavior.

I thought 40 and 50 were old at 22. The nightlife business is exactly what you said it is in terms of mating behavior.

It does not appear that being a mom of 3 has ever slowed your dating life. 2 of the 3 are still under 18.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Serious question but do the men who post here on SS want kids?

Some do, some don't. I think for a lot of men, that is why they date. It's subliminal. Sooner or latter, a lot of guys will say, "the sex is nice, but I want to have a family.. a meaning in my life. I want a legacy and a person that I can find meaning in INSTEAD of finding meaning in just myself".

Yeah, a lot of guys who say they don't want kids, but ultimately, it's just a lie to get older women, or they change once all their friends have family's.

Those men that have kids already, they either don't want to date anymore (too much financial risk) or they are just "having fun". After all, as their kids grow up, these kids for a lot of people become their social support -- i.e., there is less need for a wife. Obviously, there are exceptions. The more kids, the less likely he will need a wife to help him out socially or physically. Also, since bonding between couple happens involves time and going through struggles. A "new girl friend" that is older, there's less chance she has time to form strong bonds. There's a higher chance she has her own kids to worry about, etc..

There's a lot of things working against older men bonding with older women. It's all the "baggage". Heck, it's even doubtful that the older women would put up with "struggles" like him losing his job or health. She will just leave. After all, unless she's a widow, she already has a history of leaving relationships especially if she hasn't even been married- can't have a new relationship without leaving the old one.

Ultimately, it just ends up being "hooking up" for entertainment. There's no real bond. Is seduction technics really necessary for "hooking up" -- I guess so. It does sound useless, right? If people want to have sex for sex sake -- get an male or female escort. It's cheaper time wise... and probably financially.

I like to think websites like this are helping men (who don't know how to seduce/flirt/etc.)show their value so they can match with their appropriate counterpart and not to trick other people into just sleeping with them. Am I an idealist? Maybe Besides most women are not that stupid.

Trying not to judge, they're entitled to feel however they feel, just saying, the wanting kids excuse is BS.

Again imho.

 

[Ignorance is not bliss]

And even they have their issues. My previous two gf's before this last one were 25 and 29. They both had some severe emotional issues. Women in general have issues. Ruled by their emotions. Just randomly crying. No logic, no empathy. Just pure emotion. Also another girl I dated recently was 35, not far above the top of the range the guy mentioned. She was ABSOLUTELY BAT S CRAZY, top ten MBA, etc. JUST CRAZY.

Another girl I met in LA recently, also a top ten MBA, 38, never married, no kids, but wants. Showed CLEAR signs of NPD and BPD, two of the cluster B personality types. Her moods would swing within minutes. One day we are talking on the phone 6 hours until the morning, the next she bites my head off via text and is in alpha female mode. Just absolutely insane. She showed me texts of her ex's blocking her, etc. Now I see why.

This hits close to home. Was just dumped by a 40 year old. I suspected manic depressive with the mood swings. Almost daily suicidal thoughts. "I hate being here" "I want to sleep, hopefully I won't wake up" that's the light stuff. Also the off the wall screaming anger, over mundane things.
I looked.up the symptoms, every single one.
She also admitted that she had issues since childhood.
I'm new
The reason I joined the forum is because another guy who knows her, recommend the

I have no desire to “prove” anything. I just pass on what I’ve learned in life to whomever has an ear to hear.
There are multiple subtle tells in a person’s features which are caught in photos and which betray certain personality characteristics. This is too subtle for the young and for older know-it-alls.
I will give you an example which is ridiculously obvious but which you may understand…The wide-eyed stare. Most men of knowledge recognize that as a sign of crazy.
Another very obvious one would be an uneven smile. Sort of a smirk. That should tell an intelligent man many things.
One can start there but take it to a more micro level after years of experience and observation. That awareness increases as a man gains insight over the years. Put another way, it’s simply an advanced ability to read body language and micro-tells.
I know this falls on deaf ears for some, but many older men understand what I’m talking about.

I have a crooked smile.
It's always irritated me.
What's it mean?
You're taking out your arse on that. You don't know me, or my character.

 

[Ignorance is not bliss]

1. They come from more conservative cultures. It's not quite as common for them to show direct interest in a man. Therefore, their idea of "flirting" in such cases is teasing, which can lead to hurling insults, throwing tantrums and just generally being out of control.

2. Asian women in particular tend to be coddled and spoiled by Asian men and so this type of behavior is never checked. Not in the courtship process, anyway.

3. Third, as these two groups of women age, they become more desperate so their "flirting" can take on a strange intensity, which combined with point 1 can lead to batsh-t crazy.

I'd say from personal experience, it's also Asian romance movies.
Insane amount of screaming and bawling. Then they lived happily ever after.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I have a crooked smile.
It's always irritated me.
What's it mean?
You're taking out your arse on that. You don't know me, or my character.

I’m going to try to help you with your illogical thinking because of my extreme benevolence, even though I will not be rewarded with watching you see the light.
Of course I don’t know you, although from your writings I already know a lot about your character. You tell much more than you think you do.
This discussion pertains to seeing a picture, correct? I have not seen a picture of you, and therefore cannot comment based on your picture. I can only come up with a few possibilities as to what your crooked smile means, because I only have your verbal statement that you have a crooked smile and that you hate it.
Show me a picture and I will have an even more accurate idea of your personality than I already have from your rather revealing writings.
Back to the subject at hand, it seems to me a very logical and reasonable observation that as a perceptive man gains experience and ages, he develops a highly refined ability to interpret physical characteristics and mannerisms.

 

[BeExcellent]

Why would a 35 year old businessman hitting on you be laughable? A lot of men hit on women they want to have sex with especially those that think they have a chance with. To be honest, most men are not stupid. There's a good chance he's been successful with similar woman and that is why he's hitting on you.

Laughable in my mind, my opinion. For me personally. Early 40s is too young for me. Now generally I do not care what grown consenting adults do. I don’t judge (although I’m not going to hang out with the town bicycle as that might become a poor reflection on me by association) but beyond that? Do what suits you.

The guy who was flirting the other night was social with a number of women in the venue, the rest were substantially my junior in age, and he was fit, well dressed, very attractive face. He was average height and quite charming. I’m sure he does fine & the younger gals were receptive to him/exchanging contacts. He didn’t ask for my number but I make it crystal clear in conversation that I am engaged and I wear my ring.

No my kids have never slowed my social life although I did not start dating until more than a year post divorce and even then was quite selective. I had a bad experience with the 3 year LTR prior to my fiancé but I was taken in by his charm, got involved and so forth. Lessons learned as many men here have similarly experienced.

Have standards and screen. Sooner or later you sort out the stable from the unstable. It is a matter of time.

 

[Ignorance is not bliss]

I’m going to try to help you with your illogical thinking because of my extreme benevolence, even though I will not be rewarded with watching you see the light.
Of course I don’t know you, although from your writings I already know a lot about your character. You tell much more than you think you do.
This discussion pertains to seeing a picture, correct? I have not seen a picture of you, and therefore cannot comment based on your picture. I can only come up with a few possibilities as to what your crooked smile means, because I only have your verbal statement that you have a crooked smile and that you hate it.
Show me a picture and I will have an even more accurate idea of your personality than I already have from your rather revealing writings.
Back to the subject at hand, it seems to me a very logical and reasonable observation that as a perceptive man gains experience and ages, he develops a highly refined ability to interpret physical characteristics and mannerisms.

The fvck are you on about?
You said nothing, you proved nothing.
You made an ridiculous assertion that you can read people by seeing a picture
You also said a crooked smile means something, but won't say what it is.
. What writings have I been posting? I've been a member for two days.
You must be a savant

 

[Atom Smasher]

The fvck are you on about?
You said nothing, you proved nothing.
You made an ridiculous assertion that you can read people by seeing a picture
You also said a crooked smile means something, but won't say what it is.
. What writings have I been posting? I've been a member for two days.
You must be a savant

Thank you.