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Dating a woman with low self esteem

GoodOne123

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So I've recently went on a date with a girl i met at a nightclub. We went to a bar for a first date, but some things and behaviours have worried me:

She mentioned her self esteem has been very low in the past, and her friends have had to work very hard to improve it.

She compliments my eyes, then I compliment her that she's an attractive girl. Here's when it goes weird. She reacts by staring at me for a couple seconds, then immediately darting her head away and ignoring me. I ask her whats wrong and she says that she just isn't used to being called that. In general she seemed to ignore and cant accept compliments.

Later I tease her jokingly and we both laugh about it, but I see subtle signs that she took the jokes to heart and seemed to irritate her. Again strange behaviour because with most people I joke with know I'm joking and don't take it personally.


I'm.not too sure about this girl, seems like the signs I'm seeing now are indicators of something worse down the line. You guys think it's a good idea dating a girl like this?
 

corrector

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If you've been in a dry spell for the past 10 years and this is the first girl you are dealing with to break the ice then, maybe that could have potential. You have to have a scarcity mindset to make a thread like this.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Keep pushing through. You met her at a club so you already it’s not gonna go anywhere longterm. Just do it for the lay. A good way to be with these types is to be enthusiastic, or cool chill confident type. Either one works. They’re drawn to confidence more readily than other women, you just have to make sure not to let them feel awkward or embarrassed ever if they say something weird or whatever.
 

051AV

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A woman with low self esteem isn't a LTR that's for damn sure, don't get too emotionally involved with her, you will never fix her she's damaged goods.
 

niceguytoalphamale

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Ok. My thoughts. When she looks away after a compliment. Tell her dont like being complimented. Ok suit your ****ing self! And dont compliment the immature brat again. And when she gets ****ty about a joke. Dont play into her frame. Tell her if shes ****ty go home.
 

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zinc4

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You met her at a c
So I've recently went on a date with a girl i met at a nightclub. We went to a bar for a first date, but some things and behaviours have worried me:

She mentioned her self esteem has been very low in the past, and her friends have had to work very hard to improve it.

She compliments my eyes, then I compliment her that she's an attractive girl. Here's when it goes weird. She reacts by staring at me for a couple seconds, then immediately darting her head away and ignoring me. I ask her whats wrong and she says that she just isn't used to being called that. In general she seemed to ignore and cant accept compliments.

Later I tease her jokingly and we both laugh about it, but I see subtle signs that she took the jokes to heart and seemed to irritate her. Again strange behaviour because with most people I joke with know I'm joking and don't take it personally.


I'm.not too sure about this girl, seems like the signs I'm seeing now are indicators of something worse down the line. You guys think it's a good idea dating a girl like this?
You met her at a club. Nuff said. The next sentence mentioning low self esteem fits perfectly. Don't take her serious.
 

GoodOne123

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Keep pushing through. You met her at a club so you already it’s not gonna go anywhere longterm. Just do it for the lay. A good way to be with these types is to be enthusiastic, or cool chill confident type. Either one works. They’re drawn to confidence more readily than other women, you just have to make sure not to let them feel awkward or embarrassed ever if they say something weird or whatever.
Yea my confidence got her interested in the first place. We made out, but she declined my offer to come back to my place.

She is a bit weird now that you mention it. On our date she was talking very loudly, almost like she wanted other people to hear what she was saying. She brought up religion and politics for some odd reason, and seemed to want to show off about how much she knows. I tried to cut the convo short since I'm not into those topics.

Strange chick man lol
 

GoodOne123

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A woman with low self esteem isn't a LTR that's for damn sure, don't get too emotionally involved with her, you will never fix her she's damaged goods.
You're right I can't fix her. The more I seem to get to know her the more red flags show up. I'm pretty sure I can't deal with this long term.
 

GoodOne123

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You met her at a c

You met her at a club. Nuff said. The next sentence mentioning low self esteem fits perfectly. Don't take her serious.
Yes I'm making sure not to be attached in any way.

Judging from her loopy behaviour so far I'm convinced she is not capable of having a healthy short-term or long-term relationship.
 

Roober

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1. Compliments are earned, not just idly given out
2. Compliments should be things other people don't notice
3. Find a way to make her feel comfortable about her insecurities, there is very likely specific traits she doesn't like about herself
 

GoodOne123

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1. Compliments are earned, not just idly given out
2. Compliments should be things other people don't notice
3. Find a way to make her feel comfortable about her insecurities, there is very likely specific traits she doesn't like about herself
I only complimented her because she complimented me first. She did make an effort with her outfit so I thought it was appropriate to give her one.

I noticed she has at least some insecurities. But I know only she can overcome them. I feel like I did my part in making her comfortable. I cared enough to ask her why she had an adverse reaction to being called attractive, and assured her that she is.

I just don't want to jump into being the caring boyfriend role. I feel like thats too much too soon.
 
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