Dates go well but she never offers to pay.

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#1
Been on three dates now, kiss closed first and got more intimacy at her place tonight after third date (not smashed yet). She shows interest, initiates text, etc. However, damn girl never offers to pay for anything. Wtf? I’m a bit irritated by this behavior.

What y’all think?
 
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#3
Unless you state this to her on the dates from day one that you want to take turns, then women by nature will assume you will take care of her. She is finding out you are the kind of guy who pays for anything, so what do you want to be seen as when it comes to women. I don't blame her, as your letting her get away with not paying. Just say it on the next date before the meal starts, lets take turns paying for meals.
 

rando5495

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#4
Unless you state this to her on the dates from day one that you want to take turns, then women by nature will assume you will take care of her. She is finding out you are the kind of guy who pays for anything, so what do you want to be seen as when it comes to women. I don't blame her, as your letting her get away with not paying. Just say it on the next date before the meal starts, lets take turns paying for meals.
The problem imo with doing that is it's too on the nose.

It puts off both good women who actually will offer or try to contribute in some way and feel embarressed not to, and it loses lays from those that don't.

An alternative is to pay until whatever your limit is in terms of taking her out on dates before sex, observe, and filter accordingly:

Mooch --> plate. Cheap dates till she falls off. Keep searching.
Reasonable --> potential girlfriend/stable plate.

But it depends on loads of different things, such as financial budget put towards dating, personal values of what we look for in others, and all sorts i suppose. But i can understand that others find it annoying, because it's also one of my big pet peeves.
 
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#5
Been on three dates now, kiss closed first and got more intimacy at her place tonight after third date (not smashed yet). She shows interest, initiates text, etc. However, damn girl never offers to pay for anything. Wtf? I’m a bit irritated by this behavior.

What y’all think?
I always paid for every date in my life. It’s about my own self respect and on this I’m old school. It’s the culture I was raised in. And that’s regardless of the sex
 

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mrgoodstuff

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#7
Been on three dates now, kiss closed first and got more intimacy at her place tonight after third date (not smashed yet). She shows interest, initiates text, etc. However, damn girl never offers to pay for anything. Wtf? I’m a bit irritated by this behavior.

What y’all think?
Its not Good. Terrible dynamics
 

mrgoodstuff

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#8
I always paid for every date in my life. It’s about my own self respect and on this I’m old school. It’s the culture I was raised in. And that’s regardless of the sex
Women make the same as men will surpass men. The old school way is not rewarded. Youll learn to lose respect from a female always expecting you to pay. Its bad energy.
 
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#9
It's about what you put up with that counts and communicating it to a women that your dating. She's showing you what you got to look forward too down the road. Most guy's don't pay attention to the things that women do to show what kind of girlfriend they will be. A women that wants you would offer to go half not treat you like a ATM.
 
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BeExcellent

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#11
See if she offers to cook for you, or contribute in other ways besides money. Does she buy a new dress to go out with you...does she get her hair & nails done...

You are in an area famous for gold diggers but there are also lots of gorgeous women around, as well as men willing to pay for them.

I'd let it slide a few more dates for now & see if you can escalate sexually. If she won't get passionate with you AND she won't ever offer to contribute something (pay for a date or part of a date/cook/bottle of wine/etc.) then you need to examine the dynamic more closely.
 

Chamber36

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#12
I say you should be smashing after the second date. If you consistently smash from then on I think it's fine to pay. It's a man's job to pay, regardless of the times. Certain girls though, or on first dates, I'll let her pay, because I don't know if I'm getting the pvssy anyway. Also if the girl cares about me and the relationship lasts a bit maybe she will offer to pay. In which case I would let her pay.

There's nothing more chumpy than trying to flaunt your cash or buy a bunch of food and drinks or items in order to keep a girl.

I can tell you this though: once you point out to that manipulative conniving ***** you're having these nights out with that you are getting annoyed paying every time and you're not satisfied, she will leave.
 
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mrgoodstuff

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#13
See if she offers to cook for you, or contribute in other ways besides money. Does she buy a new dress to go out with you...does she get her hair & nails done...

You are in an area famous for gold diggers but there are also lots of gorgeous women around, as well as men willing to pay for them.

I'd let it slide a few more dates for now & see if you can escalate sexually. If she won't get passionate with you AND she won't ever offer to contribute something (pay for a date or part of a date/cook/bottle of wine/etc.) then you need to examine the dynamic more closely.
The dynamic cant be we pay for dates and the "maybe" possibility of sex. Thats not healthy. Someone who likes him shouldnt want him making ALL of the effort.
 

Ranger

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#15
Tell her to come over. Tell her to pick up a bottle of wine on the way. See if she does it if you are concerned about this.

If she says...”I will come over and we can go pick one out together.”, then you know.
 
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#18
It's about what you put up with that counts and communicating it to a women that your dating. She's showing you what you got to look forward too down the road. Most guy's don't pay attention to the things that women do to show what kind of girlfriend they will be. A women that wants you would offer to go half not treat you like a ATM.
Ummm. I don’t feel treated like an ATM just always paying for dinners and drinks. You do. I don’t.
 

mrgoodstuff

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#19
Che 2
Ummm. I don’t feel treated like an ATM just always paying for dinners and drinks. You do. I don’t.
Not yet. When youve had enough withdrawals you will reach a point of pain. Then youll learn it cost you all along. Im about equitable relationships.
 
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