You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
No way! Allen Thompson knows about women and the mind set guys should be in. You need to be persistent but playful. Don't get obsessed.VladPatton said:I never believed in that practice. By pursuing, you're playing by her rules. She says no, yet you keep playing along, but for how long? Until she decides, right? Well, then you're already in her frame, and she's got 2 fingers up your nose and leading you around in the relationship.
Stick to chicks that want to go out with you and want to have fun from the get-go. There's no shortage of them.
This.BeDJ said:TL;DR - Pursue women who have shown high interest in you. It will save you much frustration and effort in the long run.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I agree.FTW said:This.
Here's a good test: If she turns you down once, don't give her any more attention. If she starts showering you with attention, it means she was gaming you and wants you to pursue. Whether you do or don't is up to you, really. Most of the time I respect myself enough to keep her in perpetual limbo and friend zone her ass.