"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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CJs cold approach journal

BackInTheGame78

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That’s some good results right there ! Good work. :cool:

! but how many girls did you go on dates with in total to get the 75 bangs is what I meant,

like what was the conversion rate from # total dates

Like 1 date in 3/4/5 went somewhere and ended up converting to sex down the track..
No idea honestly. It varied. Starting out I wasn't very good at converting, but over time I became extremely good (almost too good) at converting. However, when I got out of the exclusive relationships it would take me a little bit of time to get back in the flow again so at first I would not be great again and then would begin improving quickly.

OLD is all about volume. If you want results from it, you have to get volume, and most importantly be able to get them to meet in person.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Cheeky_James

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No idea honestly. It varied. Starting out I wasn't very good at converting, but over time I became extremely good (almost too good) at converting. However, when I got out of the exclusive relationships it would take me a little bit of time to get back in the flow again so at first I would not be great again and then would begin improving quickly.

OLD is all about volume. If you want results from it, you have to get volume, and most importantly be able to get them to meet in person.
Re volume yeah true, I have 200 matches on my Hinge from about 5-6months.
Probably been on 35-40 dates this year.
I think 15ish lays .. in Jan-may this year.

What at do you make of this redhead chicks behaviour from last night .. ?

she did a switch from originally being almost up for having me come to her place .. for food and drinks…then putting up obstacles to that idea… then FaceTiming me … then switching it to a drinks date at a nearby bar ….bar hopping and c0cktails and watched a band ..4 hour date …making out…

then after we said goodbye with a pash
I get a dear John text after it all at 2am.

maybe she was up for a hookup originally, then saw me and changed her mind sussing me out for more than that I guess.

weird

And annoying for me…

sick of this bullsh1t!!
 

BackInTheGame78

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Re volume yeah true, I have 200 matches on my Hinge from about 5-6months.
Probably been on 35-40 dates this year.
I think 15ish lays .. in Jan-may this year.

What at do you make of this redhead chicks behaviour from last night .. ?

she did a switch from originally being almost up for having me come to her place .. for food and drinks…then putting up obstacles to that idea… then FaceTiming me … then switching it to a drinks date at a nearby bar ….bar hopping and c0cktails and watched a band ..4 hour date …making out…

then after we said goodbye with a pash
I get a dear John text after it all at 2am.

maybe she was up for a hookup originally, then saw me and changed her mind sussing me out for more than that I guess.

weird

And annoying for me…

sick of this bullsh1t!!
Hard to really say. It's one woman and one interaction. Could be she didn't see you as a SNL worthy guy but at the same time also didn't see you as having long term potential. So then you would have ended up somewhere in the murky middle which is where many women don't like going.
 

Cheeky_James

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Hard to really say. It's one woman and one interaction. Could be she didn't see you as a SNL worthy guy but at the same time also didn't see you as having long term potential. So then you would have ended up somewhere in the murky middle which is where many women don't like going.
yeah .. good points .
Upon reflection as she was somewhat open to the house visit .. perhaps I should have pressed her on that one and pushed for that scenario only.

may mistake was accepting the switch proposal of meetup and drinks I reckon.

I went from Lover frame to provider frame right then.
And I currently don’t have the status/money value in that frame to convert to sex.

this chicks last casual relationship was some ‘older gentleman’ swinger guy she met on a hinge. She told me it took a while for her to see his place and when she did he lived in a Mansion in a rich suburb and was a retired ,loaded dude. So lotsa cash, fancy lifestyle and also importantly , party drugs.:cry:

this redhead had a baggie she was dipping into all through the date last night on her toilet visiits…

same with another chick I met a few weeks back.

the hotter ladies defs want the status/money/lifestyle also in the ongoing relationship frame.. or so I’m finding.

acrually on reflection - both chicks told me in stories on the date a lot of this kind of info about their previous BFs.. they were basically telling me “this is how I roll and what I expect”

but I’m a bit slow on the uptake. :rolleyes:
must pay more attention from now on.

This is for sure how women communicate.. indirectly via “stories”.
It’s a read-between-the-lines type deal imo/ime.
I often miss this worrying about other things and not active listening.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Cheeky_James

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No idea honestly. It varied. Starting out I wasn't very good at converting, but over time I became extremely good (almost too good) at converting.
How can you be ‘almost TOO good’ at converting /success in dating…?

I thought that was the whole point ..
ie ‘getting Game’.?

what’s the downside in the case your describing idk

-confused
 

BackInTheGame78

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How can you be ‘almost TOO good’ at converting /success in dating…?

I thought that was the whole point ..
ie ‘getting Game’.?

what’s the downside in the case your describing idk

-confused
Because then it leads to issues with too many plates, too much mental and physical work and eventually literal physical exhaustion from fvcking too much.
 

The Duke

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So this is the 4th first date that led to nothing. That's at least 12hrs of your time invested that led to nothing. How about not pushing for sex so hard and spending a little more time with each one?

Perhaps you could go out on two dates with two girls and end up having second date sex with both? You end up investing the same amount of time on 2 as you would 4, but you get sex from 2. Sure better than what you are doing now.

You are doing something wrong if you are good looking and don't have issues attracting girls, but have issues getting second dates.
 

Cheeky_James

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Because then it leads to issues with too many plates, too much mental and physical work and eventually literal physical exhaustion from fvcking too much.
yeah I hear that.
I posted a thread back on Feb or March detailing my exhaustion with 3 girls I had on a rotation.
I was taking Beroccas and Hydralytes to try replenish my ‘mojo’ from all the sex. It’s just greediness really innit
 

Cheeky_James

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So this is the 4th first date that led to nothing. That's at least 12hrs of your time invested that led to nothing.

How about not pushing for sex so hard and spending a little more time with each one?
correct Duke.

I am trying to debug this particular problem here in journal and threads .. is the reason I am here to get better efficiency, for sure.

Re your first point and time on dates -

I spent 4 hours with this woman on sat night. 9pm-1:30am… so that’s an issue for sure. (But I was going for the Lay so … debateable)

my good friend IRL who is my ‘Yoda’ re app game told me something yesterday . And a few other experienced members here have correlated said advice on pm chats.
That . I ought to keep date 1 to 1 hour tops in time.

it’s a case of keep it efficient , checking for ‘chemistry ‘ with the woman verbally after 1 round of drinks on the date (45 mins) . Check for it and then walk away if she confirms it ain’t there.

Not waste time and try to get the SNL on night 1

Perhaps you could go out on two dates with two girls and end up having second date sex with both? You end up investing the same amount of time on 2 as you would 4, but you get sex from 2. Sure better than what you are doing now.

You are doing something wrong if you are good looking and don't have issues attracting girls, but have issues getting second dates.
but re your 2nd point , yes I do try to ‘stack’ 2 dates in a row when I can.

Sat nite there was a scheduling problem. The first blondie wanted to meet at 9:30 then the hotter redhead got in for 9pm. So I rain checked the 9:30pm chick with an excuse.

I should have pushed one of them back to 11pm and stacked. But also they were in 2 opposite locations so driving time etc would have been difficult. May have been possible tho. I’ll have to be smarter in the future re this.

Thanks for the suggestion it’s a good one and in line with my friends. And yes more possibllity of sex on date 2 with both.

I am rushing it for sure. Old habits die hard i :)

——————-
Re 3rd point conversion of dates to something more leading to sex - that can basically come down to a problem in either Looks, and Money/Status imo also ..regardless. And that is assessed early actually in date 1 timeframe of 30mins-1hour.

They are the 2 biggest dimension ‘groups’ ultimately …that make or break

It seems to be the latter in my case . Status /money/lifestye as I am getting attraction on Looks & Humour in chats.

a lack of the latter .. and party drugs especially in a few date cases. That’s just the reality upon review.

can’t convert them all either is the reality. It is a numbers game also at the higher level of the Looks Money & Status dimensions of a guys ‘Value proposition’.

hence why I asked you on the other thread re your current GF what’s your situ re those other dimensions of Money & Status ( your lifestyle level basically I guess)
 
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“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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The Duke

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correct Duke.

I am trying to debug this particular problem here in journal and threads .. is the reason I am here to get better efficiency, for sure.

Re your first point and time on dates -

I spent 4 hours with this woman on sat night. 9pm-1:30am… so that’s an issue for sure. (But I was going for the Lay so … debateable)

my good friend IRL who is my ‘Yoda’ re app game told me something yesterday . And a few other experienced members here have correlated said advice on pm chats.
That . I ought to keep date 1 to 1 hour tops in time.

it’s a case of keep it efficient , checking for ‘chemistry ‘ with the woman verbally after 1 round of drinks on the date (45 mins) . Check for it and then walk away if she confirms it ain’t there.

Not waste time and try to get the SNL on night 1



but re your 2nd point , yes I do try to ‘stack’ 2 dates in a row when I can.

Sat nite there was a scheduling problem. The first blondie wanted to meet at 9:30 then the hotter redhead got in for 9pm. So I rain checked the 9:30pm chick with an excuse.

I should have pushed one of them back to 11pm and stacked. But also they were in 2 opposite locations so driving time etc would have been difficult. May have been possible tho. I’ll have to be smarter in the future re this.

Thanks for the suggestion it’s a good one and in line with my friends. And yes more possibllity of sex on date 2 with both.

I am rushing it for sure. Old habits die hard i :)

——————-
Re 3rd point conversion of dates to something more leading to sex - that can basically come down to a problem in either Looks, and Money/Status imo also ..regardless. And that is assessed early actually in date 1 timeframe of 30mins-1hour.

They are the 2 biggest dimension ‘groups’ ultimately …that make or break

It seems to be the latter in my case . Status /money/lifestye as I am getting attraction on Looks & Humour in chats.

a lack of the latter .. and party drugs especially in a few date cases. That’s just the reality upon review.

can’t convert them all either is the reality. It is a numbers game also at the higher level of the Looks Money & Status dimensions of a guys ‘Value proposition’.

hence why I asked you on the other thread re your current GF what’s your situ re those other dimensions of Money & Status ( your lifestyle level basically I guess)
One thing that was always certain for me with same night lays, one night stands, etc. is they involved the least amount of investment(time, money, conversation.) A few were from apps, most I met in bars.

I'm decent looking, and I don't lead with my money. It's my ability to connect with females thru conversation that makes me successful. That's why I push social skills so much. I would always screen as good as I could over the phone/social media based on what I was looking for. That helped cut down time spent on dates that weren't going to produce the results I wanted.

The more comfortable you make women feel thru conversation/presence the less you have to push for sex. They know what's up. If you have done your job, then they play right along and you won't counter resistance. Thats what seduction is all about and my favorite part.
 
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Rainman4707

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Update!!!

fvcking b1tch lol.
She just sent me a Dear John text :rofl::mad:

“On reflection I don’t think we will be romantic to be honest
You’re lovely but I didn’t feel the vibe Im after. Would still be keen to be friends if you are x”

LOL.

I countered her message and told her I’m still in the area if she wants a bang. :p:D:lol:

Wtf.

i knew she was just telling me stories at the end of the date .. what a crock.

I should have pushed for the apartment drop in va the drinks !. Feelin like a sucker now.

fvcking lesson learned.

search and destroy no mercy from now on!!!
When i read that she was on the coke, i got an arrogant vibe from her. I thought 'this girl will kill it off with him' It's a sickner!!
 
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Rainman4707

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totally.
This is the vibe usually. cliques and AMOGs /AMOGing. Dudes ain’t friendly .. in my country anyway.
Yeah, i'm going to read sperm wars again.

Some guys are cool. It's interesting because we are probably hard wired to kill these guys that try to AMOG and some males still do KILL.
 

Rainman4707

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thanks man.
Fyi

I am good looking .
That’s the reason I am able to get women off the apps with ease .

that an my bio reads like I have a sense of humour .It’s all funny ‘chickie ‘ fluff stuff on my bio. with chick lingo thrown in.

Those 2 are the combo.

sense of humour is massive btw.
(and no one mentioned on my other thread re oersonality afaics lol)

I ask all the chicks early in chat why they swiped right on my profile - and the answer is always those 2 things and usually my ethnicity also (UK background) and that I have an accent.

so Good Looking + Funny + Foreign.

Edit
I was thinking of posting screenshots of this to back up my debates here . But it would be too brutal tbh.

that website Plinco mentioned a while back ‘Fotor’ rated my face pic a 77/100 . So I guess I’m HTN or ‘ChadLite’ tier.
Would have been good to see the screenshots, just for the tips
 
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