You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Seems a bit harsh. He's 74 years old. He's incredibly successful, wealthy, talented, and respected in his field. He's tall, and while not muscular, he appears to be in good shape. He was the creator, head writer, and executive producer of what some say is the greatest sitcom in history* (Seinfeld), and his own show (Curb Your Enthusiasm) is arguably better. He's witty, and he had the gonads to be a stand up comedian. I don't believe for one moment he would have trouble finding women. Of course he's married anyway, and his wife looks good for her age (63).He’s Ugly AF. Sure he got girls in his show. Real life. No way.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Really, censorbot?* My nominee would be The **** Van Dyke Show.
Fair point.Seems a bit harsh. He's 74 years old. He's incredibly successful, wealthy, talented, and respected in his field. He's tall, and while not muscular, he appears to be in good shape. He was the creator, head writer, and executive producer of what some say is the greatest sitcom in history* (Seinfeld), and his own show (Curb Your Enthusiasm) is arguably better. He's witty, and he had the gonads to be a stand up comedian. I don't believe for one moment he would have trouble finding women. Of course he's married anyway, and his wife looks good for her age (63).
One thing that always struck me as funny. On his show he usually wears what I call a "PUA jacket" (the same kind of over your clothes blazer or jacket that all the PUA gurus wore to dress "one step above the rest of the crowd").
* My nominee would be The **** Van Dyke Show.