"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

** Chappelle Fans **

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

KaJaMo

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 16, 2007
Messages
32
Reaction score
0
I loved the "Everything looks better in slow motion skit."

and the "Ni**er family."

Lots of laughs, haha.
 

Skel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 5, 2003
Messages
1,721
Reaction score
10
"killing me softy"

I think is the comedy routine or something like that. All his skits are hilarious though.
 

ValleyDJing

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
Messages
1,527
Reaction score
14
Location
California
"Killing Me Softly" was hands down the best stand up routine of all time for any comedian.
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,546
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
ValleyDJing said:
"Killing Me Softly" was hands down the best stand up routine of all time for any comedian.

don't show your ignorance by saying that. no offense BTW.

That.. and i have it on CD by the way and it's funny.. but it doesn't hold a candle to Eddie Murphies Delirious... probably the fuuniest thing I have ever heard in my life, with the gunna guo guo mobile

It would be in my top ten... but not the best of all time. Not by a longshot. I would put Chris Rock's, the 2nd one he did, higher than that one. Don't forget JS as well. Richard Pryor's RAW is funny as fvck...
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Suicide

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 9, 2004
Messages
247
Reaction score
2
Location
Denver
It may be overplayed, but "**** your couch ******!" is the greatest line ever uttered on that show :D
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,546
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
"they neva should have gave you ###### money!"


AS far as TV skits go.. the Rick James Skit might be the funniest of all time. JUst might be. it's a classic
 

Charm&Style

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 18, 2006
Messages
897
Reaction score
7
Location
SoCal
As far as chappelle show skits go, i love em all

when he plays the black White Supremacist
or the skit that he play as Prince
His Sesamme Street Skit

but my favorite is Tyrone Biggums


btw...does any1 know of a site that shows all his skits, youtube used to but now they only have a few, same with myspace.
 

KnockoutJM

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
168
Reaction score
1
Location
Rhode Island
I like the mad real world, and my favorite episode is the rick james/charlie murphy story.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,546
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
the most under rated skit on that show was the the DJ Fistacuffs and the R Kelly piss on you video with the Remix.
 

KarmaSutra

Banned
Joined
Oct 13, 2005
Messages
4,818
Reaction score
142
Age
53
Location
Padron Reserve maduro in hand while finishing my b
The sh!t that had me roll off the couch onto the floor was the Wayne Brady sh1t!

"Ho's Dave, Dave ho's."

"Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a b1tch?"

"Run b1tch! Run for your life get some help!"

Every line in that spot was classic.
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,546
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
1. register at warez-bb.org

2. spend 6 bucks and get a rapidshare account for 2 days

I found stuff there that you can't find on the internet.. i have every last eposide of MASH for crying out loud.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

onyx

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2004
Messages
360
Reaction score
1
Age
40
Location
UK
the rick james and wayne brady skits where the funniest
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,546
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
1. rick james
2. Tryone Biggums
3. Piss on you video
4. Season 3 Tupac still making music video
5. The Law and Order skit
6. I always thought that the playa haters ball one was very funny
 

Victory Unlimited

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 3, 2005
Messages
1,357
Reaction score
313
Location
On the Frontlines
Another funny one was the one where he played the "hard of hearing" rapper. I forget what the character's name was, but I think his hit song was called something like:

"Hey, turn my goddamm headphones up!!!!"
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Top