"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Can you guys give me examples of good flirting?
- Thread starter nando
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
From what women tell me, not too many will see that as interest beyond "just pals." Unless there's something that stokes the sexual tension furnace, you could end up in the LJBF zone.Bible_Belt said:
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
crashbutnotburn
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2007
- Messages
- 26
- Reaction score
- 3
Finish your transaction.
Leave the store.
Come back in. Go up to the girl at the counter who smiled at you and tell her you forgot something.
"What did you forget?" she'll ask.
"I forgot to ask what you're doing tonight. I'm going to. . . ."
And then say whatever, just make sure you HAVE something that you're doing. Not a movie, either. Anything else. An art opening, a band, your kid brother's karate exhibition, a high school football game, ANYTHING.
I have used this. I still use this. It works.
Further:
Your first move every morning, even before you check your email, should be to check the What's Happening section of the local papers and find something fun, interesting, and cheap to do that night. That way, should you meet a girl at coffee that morning, you can ask her to go do something fun and interesting with you in the evening. And then if you don't meet a girl to do something with, you can go do that fun, interesting, cheap thing and maybe you'll meet a girl there. See how this works?
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
What type of store, what's happening around you, what does she look like, is she wearing anything interesting, is she wearing a name tag, did she ring up anything strange for the person ahead of you, are you buying anything strange? C'mon, you've got to notice something interesting to talk about.nando said:
I've a tip that has really started to change things for me. Just be the man, treat them like chrildren. A women told me this the other day that women love to be treated (talked to) like little girls! They like to laugh.nando said:
eg If a girl likes something tease her that shes no good and should go back to playing with her dolls!
Don't be serious all the time but be serious the odd time. Be confident too and spin plates! Have more than 1 on the go! This helps with oneitis.
The Deacon
Senior Don Juan
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.