"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Building sexual attraction by picking, but what if you go too far?
- Thread starter Trace
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I've gone too far, but it wasn't because of being creepy. It was more because she didn't have a sense of humor. Don't attempt to come back from it. Her lack of a sense of humor really isn't your problem.Trace said:
If I can't build a little playful sexual tension with a woman, I lose interest pretty fast.
Now if you said some genuinely creepy stuff, then you may want to re-evaluate your approach. What pushed her too far?
I was invited to go see a country band with back stage passes. I took pictures and sent a couple to her from there and with the various artists that were back there.
I knew one of the bar tenders, so she gave me the hook up. So I was kinda intoxicated and rubbed it in just a little too think.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Greasy Pig
Master Don Juan
I went through the same thing recently. Negged her a bit too hard and she got well p1ssed off. Told me if I thought she was that ugly to basically fvck off.
Don't take the bait and get into an argument or apologise. Just give her some space and let her stew on her actions.
If she gets back in touch, play it very cool and keep your answers short. Get her hamster spinning.
Then when you see her next, and if the topic of the pics comes up, just laugh it off and change the subject.
If she's still p1ssed, she's a fvcking psycho. Ditch her.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Good luck to you,my experience is that there is no going back....give it a miss!
scrouds
Master Don Juan
Either send her a short note that you're not going to make it, or if you really want to play the ashole just no-show and if she calls to see what's up just tell her you're tired.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Nutz
Master Don Juan
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I used to do this when being ****y funny. If you do it too much then you're just an ass. What you've got to do is get experience figuring out where the line it. If you cross it, realize you've got to rebuild a lot of comfort. Neil Strauss once talked about this and had a routine for it. He'd say he didn't mean to offender her, that he and his sister would bust on each other as a way of showing their affection and it was just his way of showing he liked her. It's pretty crafty in that it rebuilds comfort, shows vulnerability, and reframes everything in a positive light. It also creates what would have been a frak up into a giant form of push-pull in terms of lots of negative emotions swinging up to lots of positive emotions. That large scale emotional juggling is what the hottest women tend to crave.Trace said:
Thanks for this Nutz. This actually happened to me last week. I was busting on a girl pretty non stop and it turned into silent treatment from her. Was pondering what the best way to work back from that was. You answered it, thanks.Nutz said:
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
The nice and more wholesome the girl (and ok, the uglier too), the less you need to push her buttons in the sense of teasing. Those girls will react negatively (hurt, insulted, etc.)
Of course once you do bother her it's almost never good to apologize. An explanation like Strauss's could be appropriate, but apologies will almost always set you back as far as her esteem and respect for you go. Better to err on the side of AH than nice guy.
You have to gauge them before you gouge them.