"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Building sexual attraction by picking, but what if you go too far?
- Thread starter Trace
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I've gone too far, but it wasn't because of being creepy. It was more because she didn't have a sense of humor. Don't attempt to come back from it. Her lack of a sense of humor really isn't your problem.Trace said:
If I can't build a little playful sexual tension with a woman, I lose interest pretty fast.
Now if you said some genuinely creepy stuff, then you may want to re-evaluate your approach. What pushed her too far?
I was invited to go see a country band with back stage passes. I took pictures and sent a couple to her from there and with the various artists that were back there.
I knew one of the bar tenders, so she gave me the hook up. So I was kinda intoxicated and rubbed it in just a little too think.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Greasy Pig
Master Don Juan
I went through the same thing recently. Negged her a bit too hard and she got well p1ssed off. Told me if I thought she was that ugly to basically fvck off.
Don't take the bait and get into an argument or apologise. Just give her some space and let her stew on her actions.
If she gets back in touch, play it very cool and keep your answers short. Get her hamster spinning.
Then when you see her next, and if the topic of the pics comes up, just laugh it off and change the subject.
If she's still p1ssed, she's a fvcking psycho. Ditch her.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Good luck to you,my experience is that there is no going back....give it a miss!
scrouds
Master Don Juan
Either send her a short note that you're not going to make it, or if you really want to play the ashole just no-show and if she calls to see what's up just tell her you're tired.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Nutz
Master Don Juan
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I used to do this when being ****y funny. If you do it too much then you're just an ass. What you've got to do is get experience figuring out where the line it. If you cross it, realize you've got to rebuild a lot of comfort. Neil Strauss once talked about this and had a routine for it. He'd say he didn't mean to offender her, that he and his sister would bust on each other as a way of showing their affection and it was just his way of showing he liked her. It's pretty crafty in that it rebuilds comfort, shows vulnerability, and reframes everything in a positive light. It also creates what would have been a frak up into a giant form of push-pull in terms of lots of negative emotions swinging up to lots of positive emotions. That large scale emotional juggling is what the hottest women tend to crave.Trace said:
Thanks for this Nutz. This actually happened to me last week. I was busting on a girl pretty non stop and it turned into silent treatment from her. Was pondering what the best way to work back from that was. You answered it, thanks.Nutz said:
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
The nice and more wholesome the girl (and ok, the uglier too), the less you need to push her buttons in the sense of teasing. Those girls will react negatively (hurt, insulted, etc.)
Of course once you do bother her it's almost never good to apologize. An explanation like Strauss's could be appropriate, but apologies will almost always set you back as far as her esteem and respect for you go. Better to err on the side of AH than nice guy.
You have to gauge them before you gouge them.