"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Building sexual attraction by picking, but what if you go too far?
- Thread starter Trace
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I've gone too far, but it wasn't because of being creepy. It was more because she didn't have a sense of humor. Don't attempt to come back from it. Her lack of a sense of humor really isn't your problem.Trace said:
If I can't build a little playful sexual tension with a woman, I lose interest pretty fast.
Now if you said some genuinely creepy stuff, then you may want to re-evaluate your approach. What pushed her too far?
I was invited to go see a country band with back stage passes. I took pictures and sent a couple to her from there and with the various artists that were back there.
I knew one of the bar tenders, so she gave me the hook up. So I was kinda intoxicated and rubbed it in just a little too think.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Greasy Pig
Master Don Juan
I went through the same thing recently. Negged her a bit too hard and she got well p1ssed off. Told me if I thought she was that ugly to basically fvck off.
Don't take the bait and get into an argument or apologise. Just give her some space and let her stew on her actions.
If she gets back in touch, play it very cool and keep your answers short. Get her hamster spinning.
Then when you see her next, and if the topic of the pics comes up, just laugh it off and change the subject.
If she's still p1ssed, she's a fvcking psycho. Ditch her.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Good luck to you,my experience is that there is no going back....give it a miss!
scrouds
Master Don Juan
Either send her a short note that you're not going to make it, or if you really want to play the ashole just no-show and if she calls to see what's up just tell her you're tired.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Nutz
Master Don Juan
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I used to do this when being ****y funny. If you do it too much then you're just an ass. What you've got to do is get experience figuring out where the line it. If you cross it, realize you've got to rebuild a lot of comfort. Neil Strauss once talked about this and had a routine for it. He'd say he didn't mean to offender her, that he and his sister would bust on each other as a way of showing their affection and it was just his way of showing he liked her. It's pretty crafty in that it rebuilds comfort, shows vulnerability, and reframes everything in a positive light. It also creates what would have been a frak up into a giant form of push-pull in terms of lots of negative emotions swinging up to lots of positive emotions. That large scale emotional juggling is what the hottest women tend to crave.Trace said:
Thanks for this Nutz. This actually happened to me last week. I was busting on a girl pretty non stop and it turned into silent treatment from her. Was pondering what the best way to work back from that was. You answered it, thanks.Nutz said:
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
The nice and more wholesome the girl (and ok, the uglier too), the less you need to push her buttons in the sense of teasing. Those girls will react negatively (hurt, insulted, etc.)
Of course once you do bother her it's almost never good to apologize. An explanation like Strauss's could be appropriate, but apologies will almost always set you back as far as her esteem and respect for you go. Better to err on the side of AH than nice guy.
You have to gauge them before you gouge them.