Building sexual attraction by picking, but what if you go too far?

[Trace]

Has anyone ever tried to push buttons with a girl to build sexual tension but ended up accidentally going a little too far with it.

How do you come back from it?

 

[origin138]

Has anyone ever tried to push buttons with a girl to build sexual tension but ended up accidentally going a little too far with it.

How do you come back from it?

I've gone too far, but it wasn't because of being creepy. It was more because she didn't have a sense of humor. Don't attempt to come back from it. Her lack of a sense of humor really isn't your problem.

If I can't build a little playful sexual tension with a woman, I lose interest pretty fast.

Now if you said some genuinely creepy stuff, then you may want to re-evaluate your approach. What pushed her too far?

 

[Trace]

Backstage

I was invited to go see a country band with back stage passes. I took pictures and sent a couple to her from there and with the various artists that were back there.

I knew one of the bar tenders, so she gave me the hook up. So I was kinda intoxicated and rubbed it in just a little too think.

 

[origin138]

I was invited to go see a country band with back stage passes. I took pictures and sent a couple to her from there and with the various artists that were back there.

I knew one of the bar tenders, so she gave me the hook up. So I was kinda intoxicated and rubbed it in just a little too think.

So how do you know you went too far? How did she respond?

 

[Trace]

Drinks

We have plans to have drinks tonight... so how do I go about ensuring those are still on?

 

[Trace]

One

One word responses and telling me she was pissed at me.

 

[origin138]

If this were me, I'd keep it light and playful with her. I would also assume we were still on for drinks and continue with the night as planned. If she's mad, that's really her problem, not yours...assuming you didn't go overboard with the pictures.

 

[Greasy Pig]

It's a form of shyt test.
I went through the same thing recently. Negged her a bit too hard and she got well p1ssed off. Told me if I thought she was that ugly to basically fvck off.

Don't take the bait and get into an argument or apologise. Just give her some space and let her stew on her actions.
If she gets back in touch, play it very cool and keep your answers short. Get her hamster spinning.
Then when you see her next, and if the topic of the pics comes up, just laugh it off and change the subject.
If she's still p1ssed, she's a fvcking psycho. Ditch her.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Trace,
Good luck to you,my experience is that there is no going back....give it a miss!

 

[scrouds]

When in doubt, flake. Don't try and figure it out. Who wants to spend time with someone who's pissy.

Either send her a short note that you're not going to make it, or if you really want to play the ashole just no-show and if she calls to see what's up just tell her you're tired.

 

[Nutz]

Has anyone ever tried to push buttons with a girl to build sexual tension but ended up accidentally going a little too far with it.

How do you come back from it?

I used to do this when being ****y funny. If you do it too much then you're just an ass. What you've got to do is get experience figuring out where the line it. If you cross it, realize you've got to rebuild a lot of comfort. Neil Strauss once talked about this and had a routine for it. He'd say he didn't mean to offender her, that he and his sister would bust on each other as a way of showing their affection and it was just his way of showing he liked her. It's pretty crafty in that it rebuilds comfort, shows vulnerability, and reframes everything in a positive light. It also creates what would have been a frak up into a giant form of push-pull in terms of lots of negative emotions swinging up to lots of positive emotions. That large scale emotional juggling is what the hottest women tend to crave.

 

[origin138]

I used to do this when being ****y funny. If you do it too much then you're just an ass. What you've got to do is get experience figuring out where the line it. If you cross it, realize you've got to rebuild a lot of comfort. Neil Strauss once talked about this and had a routine for it. He'd say he didn't mean to offender her, that he and his sister would bust on each other as a way of showing their affection and it was just his way of showing he liked her. It's pretty crafty in that it rebuilds comfort, shows vulnerability, and reframes everything in a positive light. It also creates what would have been a frak up into a giant form of push-pull in terms of lots of negative emotions swinging up to lots of positive emotions. That large scale emotional juggling is what the hottest women tend to crave.

Thanks for this Nutz. This actually happened to me last week. I was busting on a girl pretty non stop and it turned into silent treatment from her. Was pondering what the best way to work back from that was. You answered it, thanks.

 

[Atom Smasher]

There is much too much negging and button pushing going on in this great big world.

The nice and more wholesome the girl (and ok, the uglier too), the less you need to push her buttons in the sense of teasing. Those girls will react negatively (hurt, insulted, etc.)

Of course once you do bother her it's almost never good to apologize. An explanation like Strauss's could be appropriate, but apologies will almost always set you back as far as her esteem and respect for you go. Better to err on the side of AH than nice guy.

You have to gauge them before you gouge them.