"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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blast from the past

cNfny

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so a girl i made a conscious decision to cut off a long time ago for failure of showing mutual interest in my needs sends me an IM on aim this morning, convo goes like this.

her - hey stranger
me - (after 5 min) hey whats up
her - not muuch, you?
me - not much
(long pause)
her - what are you doing?
me - just talking to someone really quick, laying in bed
me - no dirty thoughts please
her - oh i was goin to ask you to make an errand run with me, but forgot you sleep until midday
me - oh stop, you know you can't forget anything about me
her - harhar, do you know when that film festival is?
me - why want to go with me so you can look cute? is it soon?
her - dont know, thats why i asked
me - i dont know actually
me - alright gotta go, peace

handled well? i'm almost confused on how to approach this if she contacts me again. whats best way to determine if she's looking for an ego boost or if she's interested?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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BCOMusic

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Hang wit her.
Have a good time with her.
Kino.
Kiss her.

If you get that far you are in.
If you don't, you'll know the answer to your questions
:)
 

cNfny

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does a situation like this need to be treated as if it were a new girl? or do you continue not showing interest until she pulls out all the stops?
 

Answers

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cNfny said:
her - hey stranger
me - (after 5 min) hey whats up
her - not muuch, you?
me - not much
(long pause)
her - what are you doing?
me - just talking to someone really quick, laying in bed
me - no dirty thoughts please
her - oh i was goin to ask you to make an errand run with me, but forgot you sleep until midday
me - oh stop, you know you can't forget anything about me
her - harhar, do you know when that film festival is?
me - why want to go with me so you can look cute? is it soon?
her - dont know, thats why i asked
me - i dont know actually
me - alright gotta go, peace

handled well? i'm almost confused on how to approach this if she contacts me again. whats best way to determine if she's looking for an ego boost or if she's interested?
She might have been offended at the way you cut her off! At least you showed shes not that important to you so she got no ego boost!
 

Maxtro

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What a great opportunity. Be smooth and try to do everything BCOMusic said.

I wish I had the chance to run into some of the girls I blew my chances with back when I was really AFC.

Anyways have fun and make some moves. She contacted you for a reason.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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cNfny

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So should I wait for her to contact again or should I call and set something up?
 

dj trainee

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cNfny said:
So should I wait for her to contact again or should I call and set something up?
wait for her to contact, so you'll know she's keener ?
 

yep

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Yeah you handled that well, just keep that same thing up. You have nothing to lose.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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cNfny

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hmm.. not sure if i should make the next contact, as far as she's concerned i've just been really busy and my contact cut off wasn't a personal target towards her.
 

smooth guy

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No don't wait for her to contact you - she's already approached you and it's very likely she won't come to you again, especially when you logged off like that. As the male you should jump on the opportunity and take action.
Find out when this film festival is and give her a call.
 
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