Blackdragon5095
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2005
- Messages
- 453
- Reaction score
- 6
Thanks bro. That was hard for me man. Those girls rejected me cold. Everytime I think about it. It makes me shake inside. But I know I will be stronger because of it.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Way to go!! my 1st one was the mall approach...i walked in with $6.00Blackdragon5095 said:May 16,2006
Today wasn't a bad day, I decide to go to the mall. I walk in and I'm shaking in my boots. ( I have timberland boots ) I was so nerves, I went in by myself and with about $20.00 . Fear was pushing me away from appoarching. I told myself again ( I have to apporach ). At least 1 apporach. If I don't apporch then how can I learn ?? I saw 2 girls. 1 fat and other 1 kinda cute ( or so I though ). So I go to apporach.
Me: ( I was nevres as hell ) Hey um I got a question
The girls: Look at each other giving me the "your a loser look" and ketp walking.
Me: ( I won't give up easy )
Me: um what school you go to ?
Uglygirl: ( mumbles something and ketps walking )
Fatgirl: ( ketps walking )
Me: Huh I can't hear you ?
uglygirl: ( mumbles something again )
I just give up from their. They rejected me from the start. I was sweating like hell and I was so nevres to be in the mall alone. I saw this 1 girl and she smiled and I said hi and so did she. ( I'm not gonna count that appoarch).
After this apporach I went out the mall and sat in my car. Feeling like someone hit me with a whip. Man that was a nasty cold shoulder I got. But from pain I will grow stronger.
Deep Thinking:
Oh ok Oh ok. So it wasn't as easy as I though to be in the mall and too apporach in the mall. What I will do is start eatting in the mall. So are my plan of breaking stupid fears.
1. Go to the mall more often alone
2. Eat at the mall ( I'll get more used to it )
3. Gain self-control
4. Get used to talking to people in the mall
27/100
I'm gonna change it up. Try something new.Scotty Pimpin said:Jyeah thats all Cool Blackdragon,
Now try something A LIL different and see how it works.
instead of asking females things,try TELLING THEM what to do, but in a nice way.Its called Auto Suggestion, it happens all the time everyday,
So, Instead of asking to ask a quetsion, you can just ask it, but before that
Just act like you are...The Police, and say,
"Hey Come Here for a second,"
"Whats your name?" Tell them yours then say "nice meeting You" and walk away.
No Phone #s, No email addys
No other ?s, just whats above, and practice only that, if not, you are givig yourself too much to think about and thats where you are running into problems.
Just Like Anything Else Bro
Start with Baby Steps before you Sprint.
Just Practice doing Just that.
Say.." Hey Stop"
or
"Hold Up a Second"
if they do, or WHEN they do, youll begin to see that they already are programmed to do as they are told.Try it, and keep at it.
S2thaP
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Right. You need to drive deeper and deeper rapport with your questions. Rather than just "fluffy" simple questions, try for questions that require more complicated answers.Blackdragon5095 said:Let me get this right.
Asking. Questions like ,
What you do today
Did you used to play basketball ?
What this stuff ( make up question )
Cause small talk right ?
So I need to ask questions like this ?
What would you do if you saw me stealing girl make up ?
Hey, I have a quick question. Do you travel alot
( if a girl says yes )
What the best place you been ( have the topic around their right ? )
( if she says no )
Where would you like to go and why ?
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
I know you probably think I shouldn't be giving advice as I just started my approach journal...but I'm not quite the beginner you may think...I've just been waaay out of practice and rusty lately. (In otherwords, this isn't psuedo, keyboard-jockey advice - I'd done close to a hundred or more approaches in the past)Blackdragon5095 said:I didn't close well ethier just way to nevers. I need more self-control...
30/100...
...I feel as if I'm losing my confidence ??
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.